Hey guys,
I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible.
Something I've recently learned about inner work is better experienced than told. It's actually hard to quantify or measure. It's letting stuff go. For the longest time, I fumbled around in the dark with it. My attitude at first towards inner work was bellicose at worst and unproductive at best. I thought it was "hooey" as The Kidd!! would say.
I tried hypnosis before I found this forum. I even tried affirmations. IIRC, I may have even tried alpha or beta wave music, whatever puts you in a meditative state. None worked for long. Around the time I asked Meraki for the Pushups thread (use the search function if you don't know it), I also came across an article that essentially was a "pink" pill for letting go. Essentially, the article said, "Just tell yourself to 'let it be'."
Honestly, telling yourself to let it be is a good start. I did it for a while with mediocre results. You reap the seeds you plant. I planted mediocre seeds with no insight into myself. What I did notice was that by crossing the terrain in the immediate present moment no matter how little, which it is not much at all, it had a profound effect on my body. Most of the time, the energy from me would turn to heat. I would get warming sensations. I'm a hot head at heart.
Nah, in all seriousness I could feel the energy leaving. Sometimes your body needs to release the energy in different ways.
I actually gave up for a while when it stopped working, and I must say that the one thing you can't do is give up. I gave up because I thought inner work was too hard, but I acclimated to inner work when I realized that it doesn't come prepackaged in a certain form.
You won't find out how versatile inner work is and how in-fucking-your-face-in-the-moment it can be unless you put in the effort. Inner work is directly tied to the effort you put in and not the time spent on it. Although, having a regimented schedule is helpful for developing discipline because it's a muscle. Depending on the intensity of the emotions for the issue at heart and the level of conditiong, which at times can be bottomless wells of work/power/energy, you'll find a variety of intensity and topography, highs, lows, and everything in between.
The one thing you can be certain of when you let go of something seriously is that there's no charge or the entire mental, emotional, and possibly physical associations change to more palatable associations.
Why am I writing this:
I recently went through an experience so devastating(ly)?
releasing that I broke out into a full sweat. This has only happened on a few occasions for situations that I've had an immense fear, aversion, and hatred for, incredibly painful emotions. Describing the release in the right way is to call it devastating. It laid waste and ruin to every mental image and picture I had associated with issue before hand. My entire orientation changed. Reconciling is too nice of a word to describe how you restore a hijacked mind and body. It feels good no doubt. There are tons of great feelings during and afterward. However, you have to tear down the barriers between your mind, body, and conditioning. This can feel "devastating" like an earthquake.
One of the main reasons I'm writing this is because when you get to "core" experiences you may have questions about what is happening with your alignment and balance. You may wonder why xyz happens in your body when you let go of something.
One of the things I remember Peregrinus saying in a thread a long time ago was that letting go doesn't have to be a slow process. In fact, it can happen anywhere from 1 second to 1 year depending on how you approach the issue. In the same vein, changing doesn't have to be a slow process.
If you're reading this for the signs that you let it go. Don't look for them. They're usually different from each other and depend on intensity. Some signs that it occurred though are: happiness (good for you); anger (you realized something important); crying (depends); hotness (you're releasing energy stored in fat and muscles, which can be tied to specific memories in your body
); sweating (same, but way more intense); coldness (man that's some dark shit, you need to give energy to something that clearly needed your attention
); stillness (way to go, you reached a new level, can you make it happen at will? Check and see how your conditioning stacks up); laughter (good one man); nothing (this happens as a default a lot, accept it).
All you need to do is let it go and be well. Simple as said, but simple doesn't come until you experience it. Until you let it go.