It takes 2, they were broken and so was I but they were on another level of crazy.
The first woman I ever fell in love with when I was a teenager was especially fucked up so naturally I gravitated towards women like her, I had no concept of self-worth at the time and was happy to have any connection. My first experience of a girlfriend was in high school, she was frustrated that I didn't know how to take it past kissing but she did nothing to instruct me either, she knew I had no experience, we never had sex during that time and she cheated on me after a week and had her friend dump me after walking past me with hickeys on her neck and some sweaty dude walking behind her (the dude that was fucking her).
Her and the other chick were my frame of reference for women in the affairs of the heart. Starting out like that was pretty shitty and I instilled some negative views about myself, I thought the way they treated me was a reflection of my worth as a person, that's at the crux of it I think. They screwed me up pretty bad, to the point where I didn't lose my virginity until over a decade later, finally got to that point thanks to Kidd.
So that's the treatment I expected, in my experience the fucked up ones are more proactive, for a guy like me who abhors doing any kind of work (I did too much work in the past and got jaded) this is great except for the bullshit that comes with it, it's not worth it.
Mature women who have their shit together and take the initiative would be a welcome change. I can spot the qualities I don't want and I know my worth, what it means to live by my terms and not compromise for anyone, not for pussy, not for a relationship, nothing.
Accountability is a healing thing, I know I chose some fucked up women to start with, how they treated me should have been no surprise. When your friends start telling you their first impression of an ex and none of those impressions are good, that just confirms it. When a buddy who's never met her sees one pic of her and says 'yeah she looks
mental', I mean fuck, what more confirmation do you need.