Hey guys after doing sitting and allowing.....
I am noticing some approval seeking patterns.....
I am not treating people accordingly like i should....
Particularily still being influenced by a pretty face
One in particular that i'd like to share...
I do food delivery for an independent company....
There is this woman who works in the takeout section of outback where i pick up the order....
Most people when i call them they say Hey its so and so how may i help you....
there is a thread on this forum called
power of using a name
I believe this was also brought up in Dale Carnegie's how to win friends and influence people
The general gist of it is that people like hearing there names heard so i put it to a test....
This women is very good looking and seemed genuinely nice...
I gathered this from the way she treated people at work..
one time i asked her name....
two weeks later when i come back to pick up an order i say her name in person...
she smiles and says you remembered my name...
Anyways i run into her about twice a week...
She is one of the few that doesn't say her name when you call in..Instead she just says Outback takeaway how may i help you?
Recently every time she picks up the phone when i call and confirm an order i can spot her voice so i say hey so and so how are you? she quickly says i'm good(in a generic kind of way) killing the vibe...
I am a bit thrown off by this and i say i was just calling because i have an order to pick up should be there soon..
It's almost like a what do you want/what can i do for you kind of vibe im sensing over the phone...
I later
realized that i wanted her to be impressed by me spotting her voice over the phone...
This is approval seeking..
When i see her in person she is friendly and i chatted with her about her daughter and where shes from blah blah blah....
but the phone thing throws me off...
She is 23 and married....
Anyways i notice a slight butthurt in my emotions after i get off the phone with her after telling her how are you doing?
On a gut level i think im seeking approval or wanting her to like me by saying her name on the phone.Why am i treating her any different than other women who works there.How has she earned it by simply being pretty and friendly.I don't even really know her.
Anyways i have been doing this for the past 4 weeks.If i stop doing this then i am not sure if i am finishing how i start....
In your opinion guys..if i feel like i am approval seeking and wanting her to like me by saying her name over the phone should i just stop saying her name over the phone
even though i started this pattern and not care if my sudden change of behavior which i have been doing for a month will be perceived as butthurt?
Its funny before i knew her name and just treated her like everyone else not asking how are you doing,not saying her name..the butthurt wasn't present...
I am honestly ok with never hooking up with her..
Just trying to work on the inner foundations....