Notice the emotional spike Flow83 pointed inside of you, this is the source, but you are veering off whenever you touch it and blame the "attachment". Because you have paradoxical feelings about another feeling.
I guess its the wording. "Spike" throws me off. You mean a high of some kind? There's no high. There's anxiety, grief, that kind of stuff. I realize the chick herself is just a demonstration of a deeper problem. I mentioned on the other thread that its a ego thing. There must be some kind of loss or abandonment, or perceived loss from way back that is hidden to me. So what is going on with this chick is some kind of demonstration or reflection of that. Why other chicks don't trigger this off, I do not know. I think that is at the center of the whole thing.
If I were to "get" the chick, the original problem would seem to go away, because the emotional high of having the chick would mask it. But it would still be there, unhandled, and no doubt show up in some other way. So I have been trying to get to the bottom of this. Does that address the issue of an "emotional spike?"
You want her, or the feelings you have when fantasizing about her?
Yeah, good point. But isn't that the same for anyone here? I mean we meet someone, and they make us feel a certain way. We respond to those feelings and either want more, or don't. When I hung out with her on Thanksgiving, I had a good overall feeling, when
I was out of my head and just being present. There was physical attraction, there was affection, there was joy...nothing overwhelming but nice.
When I fantacize about her (which I try not to do) I get all the same ... but more intensly. BUT, I also get the feelings associated with how I feel when in the company of other friends, etc.
Like, how being with her might make me look. What it does for my ego. I got in touch with this a while ago.
Wow seems like our heads sometimes are more powerful than the external entities?
Well. You used a word Flow83 used to define one I used, hence the term of subjective and relative. He used high, I got that term form him and I described it as an emotional spike inside of you, I guess we are talking about the same thing. No need to overcomplicate it.
Peregrinus said first follow your gut and that is good to experiment, and I second that. But to me it seems that you are so affraid of losing her company with one "bad move of yours" and that you want a flawless prescription to having her through facebook or IM or whatever electronic mean, and play safe route, that's why you ask for advice so broadly and so ambiguously.
@Internal feelings projected on some other people:
Yeah, that's right on a mental/psychological level. We become somewhat distracted with our own internal projections of people, and when they fail to meet our internal criteria, say --mostly made up, and thus loosing side of the "real reality of the human being" in question-- then we blame the other person for that. It's childish and immature but intrinsically human.
Also if you are unaware of that phenomena, is different too. When you don't know it, it will seem so real form your perspective that it'll hurt you and hunt you for the rest of your life, but in the end is the same for everyone, the only thing that distinguishes one person falling for it, form another that is not, is a belief.
Funny how you seem to get the same feelings with your friends, but you don't ask how to chat with them or asking for advice on how to get them?... Tell me, what does it says about her and you, what makes her different if your feelings and basic psychological needs are being met with other people you don't chase, you just share a warm yet detached company? Can you see you are attaching some illusory value to some girl and want to leech of off her, when you know deep inside you have the internal resources to being a content person without being the whore of the other person emotional validation.
I'm not telling you to forget about her, but to clear the bullshit you created about her.