You guys are saying: we don't need to do all that since we are indifferent. No really. We are really really indifferent.
I'm saying that? News to me. It has already been stated that indifference is not a technique or about changing outcomes-- it is NOT a substitute for knowledge or skill, something I harp on a lot (though maybe more on my own digital home than here.) You don't start knowing how to play the piano because you don't give a shit about playing piano. You study it and learn it. Despite the sentiment that we are on parallel tracks, we agree
Of course you would like it to go the way you want. Nothing about the word indifference implies absence of desire or intention. If your self esteem and sense of worth is super invested in it going well though, you are FAR less likely to have clear headedness, the ability to be more objective and observant and see what is going on, what was you, what was totally out of your control, etc. Indifference doesn't even mean you don't dislike when it doesn't go the way you want or feel any disappointment - but your whole ego does not ride on it. This type of self knowledge (if you think that's bullshit, ok then) where the word 'happiness' or peace is sometimes used is different than the satisfaction of having a desire and fulfilling it. That is still nice even orgasmic when it happens. It is however only that - satisfaction of a desire. If that was end game then all rich famous people who have the means to literally satisfy any desire at will would be the happiest people and certainly never kill themselves.
I get the sense that you are warning against naivete and delusions of power and mastery over 'dumb' women - like a whoah, slow down, she is smarter than you think and knows what she is doing here. If that is accurate I dig that and appreciate that.
I don't think they have just bowed down to your ultimate mastership of indifference and therefore you have them on a string and you hold all the cards, you are in 'control' etc. I still think what you can do is set your terms, know what you want, and be willing to walk if that is either not happening or begins shifting into territory where that's the way it is going to be.
There are all sorts of ways to handle that, things to 'do' - mindset etc. and the guys who are good at that, i am ALL ears to hear. This includes yourself - more on that later.
I am not high fiving Meraki because I think he mastered this girl or something - the girl is secondary and was actually a secondary point of his post. I am high fiving the fact that he is in many ways getting what he wants, seeing it is a way to improve, is finding from his improvements that he has options and women are interested in him, that he does not need to chase down sex or cut off his balls and can get what he wants rather drama free.. I like the fact that he is NOT coming from 'what do I need to do to play this right so I win and this girl is mine' but from a willingness to stand by his terms he defined, let the next thing happen and do it better. He even literally asks for advice on 'things to do next time', extremely contrary to the idea of 'well i'm indifferent so i don't have to do anything' But most importantly was the inner aspect that this is low down the list on his life.
I know Meraki from the balls project (a place you would hate
), a bit more personally ie skype / video calls and he hardly talks about women, it's all his passion and business ideas and stuff he is super excited about and working on so it is funny for me to even picture him being all deeply concerned about 'how do i do this right?!' regarding this woman like it's a huge deal in his life.
So let's put all the happiness and indifference bullshit aside -- and get to what you are interested in (and all men are interested in!) RESULTS
You imply that you have an understanding/viewpoint that is more rooted in true reality / nature of women, have said many here are naive etc. (I, admittedly, knew nothing of the 'pimp tight' etc, am a junky on the inner work side of things and was drawn to the title of 'awakening and self-realization of men' in the title and that is where I come from, so I fully admit to minimal knowledge of that stuff) This would mean that your knowledge yields better results than most, based on the criteria you defined as good outcomes -- getting what you want. Otherwise what the fuck is the point of the knowledge? So, I take it you get what you want and know how to do it better than Meraki did to get a better result. So will you share it? Not hypothetically, not 'women are xyz' or generalizations -- what would you have done here, based on what you DO that yields the results you want? What would you have said, or not said, or have done to avoid this situation in the first place- you mentioned the telling everything, which I took to mean you would have shared all the details had she asked. What else - how do you USE this knowledge?
My other question I am interested in is the motive of the women etc. I am having a hard time seeing how this changes the game -- ie, i set my terms, this is what i want, this is what i'm willing to accept to get it and not compromise.
Let's say hypothetically I could prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that this woman who came up to me, told me I was cute, took my info, reached out, came over and had sex with me (something I used to think was impossible to happen to me but now know is not at all), and then started doing some type of 'test' thing-- that it was totally pre-meditated, that she was a conniving genius with a master plan here and knew every move she was making including the sex. What changes? How does this change what I do? If it crosses my boundaries and I say 'no' - and if it pushes I split - whether she's some naive angel doing it out of naivete or a secret agent with a plan - how does it affect me? We still hook up and then continue or not continue - yes?
Again, I dig the not being naive part and thinking stuff like 'wow, she had SEX with me - and she complimented me - I am the MAN and this girl worships me like a god and there is nothing else going on here!' -- but this is way past that. I assume nothing and am open to all of it as a possibility. Does this actually change the plan of action here? Isn't the whole reason guys fall for stupid manipulative bs BECAUSE of their attachment to sex, to having a girl, or even beating her at her game rather than moving on?