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 Post subject: Transference
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 3:20 am 
So, I'm trying to bust lots of nuts before I hit college so I've been using social networking sites to get females.

Today I had a live catch, really live. I sip on a 40oz, and then this thick black girl calls me (I was on the site after I finished my 40oz)
I'm buzzing and have a charged conversation with the girl. I ask if she wants to hang out. I get the scoop and the time. I make sure to call nearly 30 minutes after the arranged time (I didn't plan the 30 minute delay. I just planned to call late. 30minutes seemed like a nice round number.

I meet up with female in question, Shay, after I get really bad directions. Keep in mind, I'm walking. So, we get to her place, and I don't expect much (Shay is currently staying at her grandmother's). I start getting my hands on her and talking about deeper topics. Her sister, Nikki, comes to the house with her little sister (their little sister's name is Crystal).

I shoot the shit and pull rank on the younger sister Nikki. She really tries to see I'll bitch out to her. I instantly check her by ignoring her (I was playing with my phone so I had a legit reason). What happens next bugs the hell out of me. She starts vying for her older sisters attention, Shay. I allow her to have the attention, and demonstrate a relaxed attitude with mild disinterest. I drop a line that I knew would make me seem weird to see if Shay is on the hook. She corroborates the weird as line thrown randomly into the conversation. Corroboration is a good interest indicator.

We get into Shay's room, after a little coaxing and arguing on Shay's part, Nikki takes Crystal and leaves the room. We're alone.

The cool part is what Shay does next. Letting me into her room alone is a big sex indicator, however it doesn't mean you're getting coochie. I pull a sweet trick where I get Shay to help me accommodate myself with her body. As soon as we get closer she pulls out this teddy bear. I immediately notice how psychologically deviant this behavior is to me.

I should automatically be her object and subject of affection. However this is not the case. I pay the bear no attention except for an open mind and some critical thoughts. As time passes, she plays with the bear. It's like she's activating its sexual affection. She put's the bear in my face and hands him to me several times. She squeeze's the bear close herself as if she's proud of the bear. I know at this point its cool to get really sexual with her. We make out for a little bit while we are watching this movie. I pull off my pants so I'm in gym shorts. Soon she's playing with again. This time the bear winds up resting on dick along with her hand. I know at this point I have a 50/50 shot of just whipping my dick out and getting pleased. I decide to play the waiting game and let her jock my swag some more.

The final use of the bear is resting the bear between us. It acts as a link. According to her compartmentalization and externalization of sex play, sexuality, and her sense of sensuality--I am the bear. She corroborates my thoughts again talking about how soft I am, how smooth I am, and how cuddly I am. These are features of the furry creature that she puts her sexualization of the world into at times. I say at times because I don't think she fully sexualizes the bear and leaves everyone bereft of sexuality that would make her really asexual with people.

We lose the bear. She asks to reposition us. She asks if I'm comfortable. She asks to move the things in her own room. I'm officially the shit to her. We get into a spoon position and she starts rubbing her ass against me and lifting her shirt up slightly. She has my arms resting on her tits. I know for a fact had I been able to get 30 more minutes with her I would have been digging her out inside her grandma's house.

Side notes:

I didn't get the lay due to Shay being placed with baby watching duties, Crystal. I was actually lucky because I didn't really want to fuck her because I didn't have a condom. I know she will rationalize us not getting to sex because of her little sister or grandmother. It was interesting too that when I made out with her and commanded her to lift up her shirt so we could get down to business she refused. Her use of the word "can't" didn't make sense at first. Then I thought about and paid closer attention to the way she was using the bear. She literally couldn't pull her shirt up for me because I wasn't the fully sexualized teddy bear to her yet.

Side note two:

"Let me help you", is a good line to use when taking clothes off.

It is psychologically deviant from the social norm to have an object of affection that is not the person you're after. Lot's of females comparmentalize and externalize sex because of the various living situations around them. Combine that with how soon they had sex, I suspect Shay is probably a virgin or has had sex with less than 3 men, and you get a melting pot of signatures that indicate how far along you are with a woman.

Transference is normal and happens a lot. Most of the time when you lose a female in the club, bar, or any other place where there are a lot of men its due to this. They transfer their affection and attention onto another guy. The reasons are many.

This female may also be an x-factor for me because she submitted so easily and was ready to give it up so easily.

I plan to hit tomorrow if I can get the logistics setup right.


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 Post subject: Re: Transference
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 3:29 am 
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I really don't even know where to begin :lol:

_________________
The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."


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 Post subject: Re: Transference
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 3:55 am 
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rkd1990 wrote:
This female may also be an x-factor for me because she submitted so easily and was ready to give it up so easily.

I plan to hit tomorrow if I can get the logistics setup right.
I am still a padawan, but dude, as Mannija said. I don't know where to begin.
so let's start with the above quote.
those two things indicates that she's an X factor.
observe. analyze. stack evidence.
you could be one of many people she meets online and does this to. it's kool that it happened so fast, but there are still so many details left out. here's a quick question. would you give each female you sex immediately upon meeting them a "wifey" position? :|
hopefully the Guys will go in on this one.

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"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim


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 Post subject: Re: Transference
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 4:07 am 
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I'm with ManniJa on this one! :lol:

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Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!


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 Post subject: Re: Transference
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 9:08 pm 
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Oh Man.
[To others, apologies for all the quotes]
rkd1990 wrote:
The cool part is what Shay does next. Letting me into her room alone is a big sex indicator, however it doesn't mean you're getting coochie.
Do you always contradict yourself like this?
rkd1990 wrote:
I pull a sweet trick where I get Shay to help me accommodate myself with her body.
So, what was the trick... I see no mention of it?
rkd1990 wrote:
As soon as we get closer she pulls out this teddy bear. I immediately notice how psychologically deviant this behavior is to me.
It may be to you, it is not to HER!

Why do you use the word deviant here? Curious I am.
rkd1990 wrote:
I should automatically be her object and subject of affection. However this is not the case.
Indeed you are not.

Why do you think you should be 'automatically'?
rkd1990 wrote:
I pay the bear no attention except for an open mind and some critical thoughts.
This in my view is a mistake. I will not go into why, seeing as you already understand the situation perfectly well ;p
rkd1990 wrote:
As time passes, she plays with the bear. .... She put's the bear in my face and hands him to me several times.
For some reason my gut is saying you handed it back straight away, or pretty soon, dismissing it.
rkd1990 wrote:
I know at this point I have a 50/50 shot of just whipping my dick out and getting pleased. I decide to play the waiting game and let her jock my swag some more.
I would say you had a lot less than a 50/50 shot, you knew it as well, that is why you 'let her jock your swag' - whatever that means.
rkd1990 wrote:
It acts as a link. According to her compartmentalization and externalization of sex play, sexuality, and her sense of sensuality--I am the bear. She corroborates my thoughts again talking about how soft I am, how smooth I am, and how cuddly I am. These are features of the furry creature that she puts her sexualization of the world into at times. I say at times because I don't think she fully sexualizes the bear and leaves everyone bereft of sexuality that would make her really asexual with people.
I use this above quote as a generalisation of your comments about the bear.

There are some good observations in there, some are way off though.
You are also missing a key point and also mistaking others.

This is why it did not work.

You really missed a key point here [I know, repetition]
rkd1990 wrote:
We lose the bear.
YOU lost the bear... not both of you. She still had the bear.
rkd1990 wrote:
I didn't get the lay due to Shay being placed with baby watching duties, Crystal.

I was actually lucky because I didn't really want to fuck her because I didn't have a condom.

I know she will rationalize us not getting to sex because of her little sister or grandmother.
Hmm

seems you rationalised for both of you that way.. You have no idea what she thinks of it.

Be honest with yourself.


There is lots else you can do without fucking, so the condom is an excuse, plain and simple.
rkd1990 wrote:
It was interesting too that when I made out with her and commanded her to lift up her shirt so we could get down to business she refused.
Yup, you commanded her and it failed.

That is interesting, I agree.
rkd1990 wrote:
It is psychologically deviant from the social norm to have an object of affection that is not the person you're after.
Why is it?
rkd1990 wrote:
Transference is normal and happens a lot.
True

Given that you say this, how can you say your previous quote.. To me they contradict each other.
rkd1990 wrote:
This female may also be an x-factor for me because she submitted so easily and was ready to give it up so easily.
You may need to explain this further.

To me:
-She did not submit.
-She was not ready to give it up easily.

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: Transference
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 9:56 pm 
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Thanks for taking care of the heavy lifting, 'Grinus! :mrgreen:

That was NOT a keeper...that bitch boosted her ego by toying with your ass. All you did was inflate her head to max PSI. That teddy bear shit was nothing else but to laugh with about her girlfriends later when they talk about your lame ass.

Is THIS was youngsters consider 'game' now? :|

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!


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 Post subject: Re: Transference
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:32 pm 
peregrinus wrote:
Oh Man.
[To others, apologies for all the quotes]
rkd1990 wrote:
The cool part is what Shay does next. Letting me into her room alone is a big sex indicator, however it doesn't mean you're getting coochie.
Do you always contradict yourself like this?
rkd1990 wrote:
I pull a sweet trick where I get Shay to help me accommodate myself with her body.
So, what was the trick... I see no mention of it?
rkd1990 wrote:
As soon as we get closer she pulls out this teddy bear. I immediately notice how psychologically deviant this behavior is to me.
It may be to you, it is not to HER!

Why do you use the word deviant here? Curious I am.
rkd1990 wrote:
I should automatically be her object and subject of affection. However this is not the case.
Indeed you are not.

Why do you think you should be 'automatically'?
rkd1990 wrote:
I pay the bear no attention except for an open mind and some critical thoughts.
This in my view is a mistake. I will not go into why, seeing as you already understand the situation perfectly well ;p
rkd1990 wrote:
As time passes, she plays with the bear. .... She put's the bear in my face and hands him to me several times.
For some reason my gut is saying you handed it back straight away, or pretty soon, dismissing it.
rkd1990 wrote:
I know at this point I have a 50/50 shot of just whipping my dick out and getting pleased. I decide to play the waiting game and let her jock my swag some more.
I would say you had a lot less than a 50/50 shot, you knew it as well, that is why you 'let her jock your swag' - whatever that means.
rkd1990 wrote:
It acts as a link. According to her compartmentalization and externalization of sex play, sexuality, and her sense of sensuality--I am the bear. She corroborates my thoughts again talking about how soft I am, how smooth I am, and how cuddly I am. These are features of the furry creature that she puts her sexualization of the world into at times. I say at times because I don't think she fully sexualizes the bear and leaves everyone bereft of sexuality that would make her really asexual with people.
I use this above quote as a generalisation of your comments about the bear.

There are some good observations in there, some are way off though.
You are also missing a key point and also mistaking others.

This is why it did not work.

You really missed a key point here [I know, repetition]
rkd1990 wrote:
We lose the bear.
YOU lost the bear... not both of you. She still had the bear.
rkd1990 wrote:
I didn't get the lay due to Shay being placed with baby watching duties, Crystal.

I was actually lucky because I didn't really want to fuck her because I didn't have a condom.

I know she will rationalize us not getting to sex because of her little sister or grandmother.
Hmm

seems you rationalised for both of you that way.. You have no idea what she thinks of it.

Be honest with yourself.


There is lots else you can do without fucking, so the condom is an excuse, plain and simple.
rkd1990 wrote:
It was interesting too that when I made out with her and commanded her to lift up her shirt so we could get down to business she refused.
Yup, you commanded her and it failed.

That is interesting, I agree.
rkd1990 wrote:
It is psychologically deviant from the social norm to have an object of affection that is not the person you're after.
Why is it?
rkd1990 wrote:
Transference is normal and happens a lot.
True

Given that you say this, how can you say your previous quote.. To me they contradict each other.
rkd1990 wrote:
This female may also be an x-factor for me because she submitted so easily and was ready to give it up so easily.
You may need to explain this further.

To me:
-She did not submit.
-She was not ready to give it up easily.
1. It's not really a contradiction in my experiences. For example, getting to a girl to take her shirt off, but the panties don't come off. That's happened to me a few times.

2. Making simple commands that seem innocent. "lean forward, move your legs a little, etc." I use them all the time to get my hands on that coochie, boobs, get clothes off.

3. I'm pulling from my readings of Freud. Most people get rid of comfort items like blankets, pillows, biting nails, sucking thumbs etc. by the time they hit puberty. Name a keepsake to me that you have which has significant sentimental value. I mean a keepsake that you've had for years. Chances are you don't.

4. A person should automatically be the object of affection (again from Freud). Name the last time you ate a steak when you hunger wasn't your feeling, get my drift?

5. Break the mistake down for me. Sometimes I'm stupid.

6. Yeah, I did hand the bear back quickly. My first thought was that I didn't need to worry about the bear.

7. I really did believe I had a 50/50 shot of whipping it out. However, I don't like being interrupted. Her 16yr old sister was still in out the room around the time. Also swag=swagger. It's your style.

8. She puts the bear away. Do you mean that her sublimation of the bear as me is bad?

9. Yeah, I'm rationalizing. It's still a bad habit. True there's a lot a we can do, but I have this bad habit called tunnel vision.

10. See #3 for my reasoning behind it being psychologically deviant. Keep in mind, deviant only means different, not bad.

11. I can see where you think the two statements contradict each other.

12. I can see your argument. My analysis is future reasoning. My first thought was that there wasn't much time left before I was hitting. Obviously, I don't get what an x-factor is even though I've read those articles and posts 5 times.


Nice flaming guys. Peregrinus thanks for the Insight.


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 Post subject: Re: Transference
PostPosted: Sat Aug 27, 2011 11:40 pm 
Ol' girl was also letting me feel on her titties and coochie which is counter-intuitive to clothes staying on. Normal they come off if I get those areas. It's what made me think that the bear had more significance.


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 Post subject: Re: Transference
PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 1:36 am 
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An X-Factor isn't a chick that might let you fuck. I've fucked plenty of chicks that were definitely NOT X-Factors.

_________________
EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!


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 Post subject: Re: Transference
PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:56 pm 
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Posts: 1414
rkd1990 wrote:
Ol' girl was also letting me feel on her titties and coochie which is counter-intuitive to clothes staying on. Normal they come off if I get those areas. It's what made me think that the bear had more significance.
K dude, these fine gents have given you a lot to chew on, I'll keep my 2 cents simple (As long as you never mention that teddy bear again, your story creeped me the fuck out).

Due to some of your lingo I can tell you recently came from the pick-up community, that much is obvious. Your mindset is FAR from being pimp'ish, you have the sub-text that "I have to do this, say this, to get her to like me, etc... to fuck her" when really you should be kicking the fuck back and in your mind think "I'm the fuck'n man, if this bitch wants to break off a piece she has to do something to earn it, and if she doesn't who gives a fuck, I don' need it anyway".

Your mindset is really just ass-backwards, not hard to fix though.

_________________
The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."


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 Post subject: Re: Transference
PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 5:40 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 06, 2010 2:06 am
Posts: 1173
Location: Foundation/Root
ManniJa wrote:
"I'm the fuck'n man, if this bitch wants to break off a piece she has to do something to earn it, and if she doesn't who gives a fuck, I don' need it or her anyway".
Izm. 8-)

_________________
"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim


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 Post subject: Re: Transference
PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 9:24 pm 
The fucked up thing about the pick up community is that they use a lot of terms from psychology books. I'm actually refraining from using those pua terms. I'm using terms I've picked up from reading psych books.

@ Mannija: you're right about the mindset for the time being.

Also, what does lzm mean?

Note: if this is sloppy posting it's because I just drank a 40. 21st is in 3 days. Going hard all week is a must.


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 Post subject: Re: Transference
PostPosted: Thu Jan 06, 2022 9:26 am 
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Posts: 321
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Slim Titan wrote: *
The cool part is what Shay does next. Letting me into her room alone is a big sex indicator, however it doesn't mean you're getting coochie. I pull a sweet trick where I get Shay to help me accommodate myself with her body. As soon as we get closer she pulls out this teddy bear. I immediately notice how psychologically deviant this behavior is to me.

I should automatically be her object and subject of affection. However this is not the case. I pay the bear no attention except for an open mind and some critical thoughts. As time passes, she plays with the bear. It's like she's activating its sexual affection. She put's the bear in my face and hands him to me several times. She squeeze's the bear close herself as if she's proud of the bear. I know at this point its cool to get really sexual with her. We make out for a little bit while we are watching this movie. I pull off my pants so I'm in gym shorts. Soon she's playing with again. This time the bear winds up resting on dick along with her hand. I know at this point I have a 50/50 shot of just whipping my dick out and getting pleased. I decide to play the waiting game and let her jock my swag some more.

The final use of the bear is resting the bear between us. It acts as a link. According to her compartmentalization and externalization of sex play, sexuality, and her sense of sensuality--I am the bear. She corroborates my thoughts again talking about how soft I am, how smooth I am, and how cuddly I am. These are features of the furry creature that she puts her sexualization of the world into at times. I say at times because I don't think she fully sexualizes the bear and leaves everyone bereft of sexuality that would make her really asexual with people.

We lose the bear...Then I thought about and paid closer attention to the way she was using the bear. She literally couldn't pull her shirt up for me because I wasn't the fully sexualized teddy bear to her yet.
Comfort object
Quote:
A comfort object, transitional object, or security blanket is an item used to provide psychological comfort, especially in unusual or unique situations, or at bedtime for children. Among toddlers, comfort objects may take the form of a blanket, a stuffed animal, or a favorite toy, and may be referred to by nicknames.

Adults may also use comfort objects. Many adults consider the comfort that security blankets provide as essential to their mental and emotional well-being. Additionally, according to a 2011 survey by Travelodge, about 35 percent of British adults sleep with a teddy bear.

The notion of a "comfort object" may be expanded to include representations of one's family, home, and culture. It is significant to the person and gives psychological strength and assistance by representing their emotional attachments. The object helps with one's capacity to be alone. These objects can include photographs, memorabilia, music records, and even artwork made with family members. With the increase in movement away from home, and sometimes constant movement from one place to another for job opportunities or immigration, it is very common for people to carry these items with them. People may look to these objects for emotional support during transitional periods, such as assimilating to a new area, or when experiencing trauma or a significant loss.
One in three Brits still sleep with their favourite teddy bear, a survey finds
Quote:
AS many as 34 percent of adults still sleep with a soft toy every night, while 15 percent admit they can’t sleep without it, a nationwide survey has found.
Survey: 4 In 10 Adult Americans Still Sleep With Teddy Bear
Quote:
The Majority Hugs. Across generations, more than half of all respondents surveyed mentioned they still own a stuffed animal. 40% of respondents sleep with their stuffed animal by their side.
Keepsake Teddy. 56% of respondents have owned (and held onto) their favorite stuffed animal for more than two decades. Additionally, more than 70% said they plan to keep their stuffed animal forever (72%).
Memories of Comfort. 30% of respondents said a feeling of comfort was the first memory that came to mind when thinking about a childhood stuffed animal, followed by the memory of the person who gave it to them (22%), and the stuffed animal's appearance (19%).

"At Build-A-Bear, we believe wholeheartedly that you're never too old for a teddy bear, and we love that more than 25 percent of Build-A-Bear shoppers are 12 and older," said Sharon Price John, president and CEO, Build-A-Bear Workshop.

_________________
The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow.


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