Natural Freedom

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:19 pm 
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I was angry for some time at what my ex tried to do after I dumped her, previous thread here:

http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=3652

Despite the glowing red warning signs before we went out and even stronger just a couple months into our relationship (which is when I should really have dumped her) I stayed with her.

I guess I wanted to believe that because we are all human then we must accept a person's flaws but I let this bitch get into my head and make me believe that I was wrong about certain things even though in retrospect I was right, I was fucking right.

When I asked her out I was in a vulnerable place emotionally, having recently been fucked over by another woman and she was desperate to gain my trust. Kidd told me at the time that she got to me, I knew he was right but I didn't consider the bigger implications of what he said.

For months following the breakup I was angry, followed by moments of clarity and more anger but it was the same shit, stuff I already knew but it just kept coming back to me until I took accountability. Yes this bitch is crazy but I chose to get in a relationship with her, I made that choice and with that awareness I am finding peace, now when I think back I just think how fucking stupid it is but the anger has mostly gone, I say mostly because some is still reserved for the times I did not put her in her place when she stepped out of line but that shit is minimal.

There is a stillness in me that I cannot say I have felt before. Now I'm looking back at other times in my life as well and finding peace there.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:43 pm 
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Reason and accountability . . .

19sec

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wse_hgca220

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 2:51 pm 
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In other words, the characters are in hell because they are trivial, pretentious people. This is Sartre’s satiric point: they are in hell because they are petty-bourgeois. Their concern for the world goes only as far as the extent to which the world services their needs. When it doesn’t adequately cater to their desires, they blame the world and the people in it – that is, they say that “hell is other people.” Au contraire, the people in No Exit are in hell because they themselves made the decisions that put them there.

In blaming “other people” the characters in the play, Sartre says, are pointing fingers in the wrong direction. Why should the world be responsible for the actions of any of us? Who should I blame for what I am except myself? Ultimately No Exit doesn’t say that hell is other people; it says, with Satan in Milton’s Paradise Lost, that “Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell.” We construct a hell for ourselves, Sartre says, when we refuse to take responsibility for our own actions, leaving us at the mercy of the opinions of others.

“Hell is other people” is the expression of damned souls who will remain in the hell they created until – the play does offer the occasional very dim ray of light – until they learn to own up to their own behaviors, and until they begin to choose to help each other – to put someone else’s good ahead of their own. In the sense I am describing here, “Hell is other people” is exactly what Sartre does not say. A character says it, because he steadfastly refuses to see that he and he alone is responsible for his own behavior. The characters have built hell with their own hands; they are the ones who will have to take it apart again.
http://rickontheater.blogspot.gr/2010/0 ... artre.html

"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." ― George Bernard Shaw

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre

"The possession of great power necessarily implies great responsibility." ― William Lamb

“Freedom is what we do with what is done to us.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre

“We are our choices.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre

"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from." ― Al Franken

"Only while sleeping one makes no mistakes. Making mistakes is the privilege of the active—of those who can correct their mistakes and put them right." ― Ingvar Kamprad

“Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.” ― Cherie-Carter Scotts

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The opposite for courage is not cowardice, it is conformity. Even a dead fish can go with the flow.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 04, 2014 12:21 pm 
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Spot on, thank you Zogler.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 01, 2020 10:14 pm 
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zogler wrote: *
Quote:
In other words, the characters are in hell because they are trivial, pretentious people. This is Sartre’s satiric point: they are in hell because they are petty-bourgeois. Their concern for the world goes only as far as the extent to which the world services their needs. When it doesn’t adequately cater to their desires, they blame the world and the people in it – that is, they say that “hell is other people.” Au contraire, the people in No Exit are in hell because they themselves made the decisions that put them there.

In blaming “other people” the characters in the play, Sartre says, are pointing fingers in the wrong direction. Why should the world be responsible for the actions of any of us? Who should I blame for what I am except myself? Ultimately No Exit doesn’t say that hell is other people; it says, with Satan in Milton’s Paradise Lost, that “Which way I fly is hell; myself am hell.” We construct a hell for ourselves, Sartre says, when we refuse to take responsibility for our own actions, leaving us at the mercy of the opinions of others.

“Hell is other people” is the expression of damned souls who will remain in the hell they created until – the play does offer the occasional very dim ray of light – until they learn to own up to their own behaviors, and until they begin to choose to help each other – to put someone else’s good ahead of their own. In the sense I am describing here, “Hell is other people” is exactly what Sartre does not say. A character says it, because he steadfastly refuses to see that he and he alone is responsible for his own behavior. The characters have built hell with their own hands; they are the ones who will have to take it apart again.
http://rickontheater.blogspot.gr/2010/0 ... artre.html

"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." ― George Bernard Shaw

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre

"The possession of great power necessarily implies great responsibility." ― William Lamb

“Freedom is what we do with what is done to us.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre

“We are our choices.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre

"Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from." ― Al Franken

"Only while sleeping one makes no mistakes. Making mistakes is the privilege of the active—of those who can correct their mistakes and put them right." ― Ingvar Kamprad

“Remember, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself, trust your choices, and everything is possible.” ― Cherie-Carter Scotts
Upvoted for the Shaw quote I wanted to write.
"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." ― George Bernard Shaw

Also adding this long one, very well suited to our current times :
"This denial of responsibility is, however, commonly due to a fear of responsibility, a fear that necessarily becomes also a fear of freedom.
It is doubtless because the opportunity to build one’s own life also means an unceasing task, a discipline that man must impose upon himself if he is to achieve his aims, that many people are afraid of liberty." - F.A. Hayek (The Constitution of Liberty)

_________________
It costs nothing to observe, think, and plan.
You could pay dearly in the long run if you don’t.
Make your mistakes in your head or on paper before doing [x].
Imagine different scenarios until you settle on the one you consider best.


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 02, 2020 3:25 am 
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"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." ― George Bernard Shaw
Spot on! This sums up what I was feeling when I was looking at things for myself the last few weeks. I'm where I am right now, because of myself, not because of others.

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Learn to accept.


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PostPosted: Sat May 22, 2021 1:51 am 
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Quote:
Reason and accountability . . .

19sec

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wse_hgca220
:lol: :lol: :lol:

Coming into this post-resentment phase.

Realising what I can contribute, my possibilities, and limitations.

Having this sense of responsibility - not as an unwanted, resented burden; but as a chosen ownership of my actions in the world.

A lot of it has come from realising my own power - in relationships, with women, with men, with the people around me.

When I felt powerless I completely evaded responsibility. For someone reading this, who feels that way: the way out for me was a slow process of looking at my own behavior and realising the effects it has had on other people.

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You may follow one stream. Know that it leads to the Ocean, but do not mistake the stream for the Ocean.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 18, 2021 1:02 am 
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Hineini wrote: *

When I felt powerless I completely evaded responsibility. For someone reading this, who feels that way: the way out for me was a slow process of looking at my own behavior and realising the effects it has had on other people.
That's great. I actually got in touch with her a couple months ago and we had a good chat. I definitely hadn't taken that L gracefully at all but my head was at where it was at, at the time. Everything else I had going on at the time didn't help either.

Hindsight is great though isn't it. :lol:

_________________
"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."


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