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PostPosted: Sat May 27, 2017 4:08 pm 
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Hey guys

To whomever completed this inner work program or still doing it, this is what've been experimenting so far:

I think I already did it twice and it felt, I have on problem getting in "allowing state" and in my words, it feels strange but nowadays more normal and cool. Let me explain it a bit; an immense ammount of emotional shit has been surfacing and I'm dealing with it, as GP says with dignity and with peace (being present with the energy in the body, not trying to get away or surpress it), I try to do it every night right before sleep and do it very throughly (although it may seem counterproductive) yet at the same time just being present with the triggers my mind have when hearing the voice of GP guide me. There's so much shit I have in the system that it almost seems I'm not gonna finish... :cry:
Also I've noticed that, as the old adage says: Old habits, die hard. This is because I'm noticing the destructive behaviors I have seems to want to hold more firmly (they don't want to go), but at the same time able to observe this. I confess I have a big problem with masturbation, this is "desire" or "want" to the n factor. And I realized also that I was just repressing the desire I have, now I'm experiencing it fully by being with the energy with the body awareness, and I feel a fucking fire in my belly, so hot that it feels it burns my stomach already, I remember the last time I did that I spend like 20 minutes or so with the energy, and It was an intense as when I precieved it the first time, and by the guidance of GP I just reside with the energy (not trying to repress it, not trying it go away) just stay with it, a fairly good amount of time.

So this are my questions/notes:

1. By being present with the energy, sometimes it feels that is SO ROOTED in my system that I think it will not go away. Is that a good or a bad thing? (I know in this program we are just allowing it) but... Has anyone experienced it
2. Everytime I do the excercise for wanting (girls and girfriends and all taht shit I want), I cry like a bitch and feel useless, because It seems like I'm reinforcing this victim mentality by not having it.
3. Few months ago started to date this cute girl, but I spotted I was attaching to much to her, (good morning whatsapp messages everyday form her) And I felt I have to had her, so I started to do this excercises. Note: She has a boyfriend and tells me she didn't love him, and sends me songs singing, pictures of her taking a dump (just her shoes by the way)
Honestly: Like 15 days ago I avoided her messages and have not messaged her since because I feel I can relapse and be all attached for her, which I thnk I am (it's the only girl Im having the desire and chatting with). Is this normal? I want her, I have good vibe with her, but I think I'm afraid and insecure to go along with her.
4. The most "hard" excercises form this program seems when he ask you to trigger some want, those are the most intense for me, because I always cry a lot with when the energy comes along, I know it sounds counterintuitive to ask this but. Am I doing it ok?

On the "brigh side" I'm noticing woman treat me lke a hot babe, my boss started to respecting me a lot more, started doing things for me, making conversations out of nowhere and trying to get rapport, admiring me, I think this are the side effects of "releasing" or "just allowing things as they are" but I'm feeling like I'm doing this excersices for this purpose, so I feel paradoxically wanting to get something and it also makes me confused.
Other thing, I think that I'm being, again paradoxicall good, because I first started doing this excersices again because of all the unhappyness I have to bear, and thus, seeking results. Is that ok too? ... :oops:

Anywho all I want to be, is fucking free :|
I know I have to allow this wanna be free thingy too ... Again the paradoxical nature of accepting aything in our lifes, the yang side of being.

So here they are my experiences so far.

Thank you guys for your time to read this.

Peace.

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PostPosted: Sat May 27, 2017 5:09 pm 
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Just want to make sure you are aware that GP and I will respond to you personally in the graduate group which I recommend you join (free) as someone who has gone through JAI.

The short answer is all of that is right and fine, and it's actually the "is this allowing, is it ok that I want this stuff?" That is actually the form of resistance. Really the posture means you 100% feel the desire to punch that person in the face or have sex with whomever so fully and so unedited that it actually can just process through you and complete itself quickly which is what it naturally does. Then there becomes less and less attachment to this to the point that the actual reactions begin to either shift or just don't affect you like clouds moving by.

Also the reason JAI doesn't exist anymore separately and is included as a small part of "inner reconciliation" is because we found people getting stuck in "just allowing" everything as the only step and being somewhat passive about engaging with things, processing and triggering even tho there is the intentional triggering section. The mind really likes to latch on to things and will do that with allowing, or get dismissive. Really the game is about being able to be totally open and ability to engage like a samurai full force when it is required, getting stuck in any position is death.

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PostPosted: Sat May 27, 2017 5:30 pm 
Dali. why do you spend your time with this program? A course that triggers your emotions and make you cry?
Dont let anybody make you cry. Go for the things you really want. make yourself free and get yourself a harem :-)


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PostPosted: Sat May 27, 2017 5:50 pm 
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Midas wrote:
Dali. why do you spend your time with this program? A course that triggers your emotions and make you cry?
Dont let anybody make you cry. Go for the things you really want. make yourself free and get yourself a harem :-)
@Midas
Lol is not that I like this crying shit, I think it's just a defacto response of the system, like purging itself, manifesting in strong responses or emotions, like: sad, anger, anxiety, frustration, hoplessness and all that obscure shit that most people don't want to face or even get in contact with, or touch it with a 10 feet pole.
I think it is a lot of frustration repressed just expressing itself, no big deal, big boys do cry. :lol:
Would that be a part of getting free?, also don't want to get stuck in this process, like Flow says it could be another thing of negation or denial, and would stay in a limbo like a monk (nothing against moks tho) lol

I naturally cry a lot without much of a triggers, seems like I can do it good for a drama actor. :shock:

@the harem part sounds so good... :lol:

@Flow, thank you for your response I appreciate it.
I would contact you guys soon, in order to "advance" (if thats a good word for it)

You got any link for that site? (hope doesnt' violate the rules of the forum)
Thanks.

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PostPosted: Sat May 27, 2017 6:29 pm 
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PM me if you want it, it is not public.

And obviously the point of this training is not to just trigger things to make you cry. Haha, I would like to hear the marketing meeting on such a premise. There is an association there and you can definitely expand this to go way beyond your emotions purging through the body this way and be more expanded.

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PostPosted: Sat May 27, 2017 7:02 pm 
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Flow83 wrote:
PM me if you want it, it is not public.

And obviously the point of this training is not to just trigger things to make you cry. Haha, I would like to hear the marketing meeting on such a premise. There is an association there and you can definitely expand this to go way beyond your emotions purging through the body this way and be more expanded.
I know that, just telling Midas that it's some sort of an automatic body response when I follow the guided meditation. It's not like I always cry, sometimes I'm just so calm and still that it feels great. (mind it's just very quiet)

This is not natural grounding shit. LOL

I'll already sent you a PM

Thanks!

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PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2017 3:33 am 
Midas wrote:
Dali. why do you spend your time with this program? A course that triggers your emotions and make you cry?
Dont let anybody make you cry. Go for the things you really want. make yourself free and get yourself a harem :-)
There is so much wrong with this. I had a long response, but it isn't necessary until you have the "the fall". Everyone on this forum who has had success advocates meditation. People tried doing meditation The Kidd!!'s way, but it was way too hard. I know I did. Sitting in a dark room with no sound or light is too hard for someone who hasn't already been meditating. If you don't even know what you're looking for it's that much harder to find the first light of inspiration about how it works.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 8:28 pm 
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A quote from Mirdad's book Chapter 13 "On prayer"
Quote:
To pray, therefore, is to infuse the blood with one Master-Desire, one Master-Thought, one Master-Will. It is so to attune the self as to become in perfect harmony with whatever you pray for.
This planet’s atmosphere, mirrored in all details within your hearts, is billowing with vagrant memories of all the things it witnessed since its birth.
No word or deed; no wish or sigh; no passing thought or transient dream; no breath of man or beast; no shadow, no illusion but ply in it their mystic courses till this very day, and shall so ply them to the end of Time. Attune your heart to anyone of these, and it shall surely dash to play upon the strings.
You need no lip or tongue for praying. But rather do you need a silent, wakeful heart, a Master-Wish, a Master-Thought, and above all, a Master-Will that neither doubts nor hesitates. For words are of no avail except the heart be present and awake in every syllable. And when the heart is present and awake, the tongue had better go to sleep, or hide behind sealed lips.
Nor have you any need of temples to pray in.
Whoever cannot find a temple in his heart, the same can never find his heart in any temple.

Yet this I say to you and to the ones like you, but not to every man. For most men are derelict as yet. They feel the need of praying, but know not the, way. They cannot pray except with words, and they can find no words except you put them in their mouths. And they are lost and awed when made to roam the vastness of their hearts, but soothed and comforted within the walls of temples and in the herds of creatures like themselves.
Let them erect their temples. Let them chant out their prayers.
But you and every man I charge to pray for Understanding. To hunger after anything but that is never to be filled.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 3:57 am 
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This girl just FriendZoned me LOL! :lol:

Why I comment this, because I think is relevant to releasing and allowing it. At least for me this theme is surrounded by some pain and anxiety because of all the stupid beliefs I collected when I was "studiying game", and this gives me the oportunity, real time, to really digg and examine all that weird #beliefs, and get to that elements more quickly, then learning to untangle and squash them or in the best case incorporate them into my system in a more "benefical way", I think this is called learning from your past. This is actually a good thing for me to have happened. Not trying to be all Zen and shit, but I'm learning to see the workings of the universe more clearly: The best lessons are learned the hard way, or the hard way makes you learn the best lessons, something like that.

The thing started like this: She got mad because with me, because I wasn't messaging her or responding her text messages, and send me this BIG BIG big angry face in Facebook, telling me that why do I keep ignoring her.

And right of the bat I said to her:

- You see, you have your boyfriend,... what do you want from me, why do you keep messaging me so insistently when I don't reach for you anymore? (I know exactly what she is obtaining from me, not gonna give that for free anymore)

And I continued with something like: Let me tell you this, I really like you, but you are with your partner and I don't want to interfere with that, don't really want to mess with that. Not my style, and I'm not a beggar for attention or company.

Then she said: I thought we were Friends... (I don't know, nor have any friends this needy wanting to know how I am, like daily) ...

So I said something like: I haven't had, nor did I need girl friends, so no need for any of them right now, sorry.
Because I desire you I cannot see you as a friend, so I think it's best if we stop messaging altogether.

So I just cut all convos with her via FB, right then and there.

Self note: Like... I don't know anyone who gets mad because you are friends with them and not message so often, ignore, etc. All woman want attention, I think is an Aphorism coined by The Kidd!!
Also, not because a woman gives you attention, she desires you. But here's the strange thing, before that she told me she keeps dreaming with me, thinking of me, and said it to me via Watsapp, all that shit. I guess she can't keep me out of her mind, or so it seems (she told me, various times this dreams, and reported her dreams and how I interacted in them) So in her subconscious department I guess I'm a big room, not shure if it's a sexy room, but I ocuppy space "there"

@Feelings and realeasing, by being but in that dreaded zone, summary:

I failed to escalate with her early on, was a puss, Ya'I know sorry.
I guess that's why she geolocated me in that zone :lol: . You live and learn.

It actually feels funny being put in that category, never had that in my life before :lol: . There's always a first time for everything. I say it feels funny because all the guys I've asked this question, they report me they feel like shit, like *not valid as a man*, and this kind of "worst" feelings a man can have when a girl put them in that category, I'm sincerely not. I can say this because I did the realeasing of my feelings for her, much much before I actually had the nerve to say her that I liked her, it just felt for me like a necesary step. Learning to crawl before you learn to run.

Right after she texted this to me, I was actually forcing some feelings internally to feel "not like a man" or something like that... but :o, nada. I guess I feel this neutral because I'm not obtaining my identity from her, I just had a desire for a girl and the repository of that desire didn't wan't me back, also it's not like the first time it happens to me :shock:

It's just that, I guess I can think this logically because I allowed the emotions to flow fully when I needed.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:20 am 
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You kids are on sooooo many apps and books.

A good phone has a texting function and worm 2 thingamajig thingy. :lol: :lol:

I'd be like:
"Do what I want you to do or you do what you want to do, alone."

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 12:03 pm 
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Jared wrote:
You kids are on sooooo many apps and books.

A good phone has a texting function and worm 2 thingamajig thingy. :lol: :lol:

I'd be like:
"Do what I want you to do or you do what you want to do, alone."

True dat.
Leeel :lol: :lol:

[ img ]

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 1:03 pm 
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9A0Vufw3NQ :lol:

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 2:15 pm 
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What "zone" did you think you were in before this conversation?

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 7:44 pm 
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I've watched some of GP's videos and had spent some time on skype with Flow and one thing I have really learned and continue to learn to new/deeper levels is this...

When you are drawing your identity mostly/entirely from the outside world rather than internally, everything you think you are on the outside must begin to collapse to allow space for you to see the truth of who/what you are internally. At first the deeper you go the scarier it is to go into. It would be like seeing a hurricane for the first time and now being transported into the eye of that hurricane. Your mind would tell you this is the craziest and most powerful part of the storm and the most dangerous but when you really get into it and take a clear look at it you see that it is the most powerful part of the storm, but also the calmest.

The deeper you go into this over time the more you will view the outside world from this place. Your life will just get calmer and more peaceful regardless of what is happening around you. All the ways in which you thought things in your life could become unraveled may take place, or all the things you thought you might want could be given to you but you will remain more in this place of accepting whatever comes and letting go of it good or bad. You come to more and more of an understanding that you only exist as this space of eternal peace/calm/serenity and everything that is happening around you is just a fun show to watch. You can get lost in it all you want and there's nothing wrong with that but at some point you will want to get on the path back home. As you're on it you will be pulled off the path constantly for fun little detours. Every time it happens I'm almost amazed like....wow it got me again. But the more it happens the harder you become to fool, the less you take the bait, the more you stay in that internal calm place and live your life from there. You see the narrative that's running in the supposed life of whoever you believe yourself to be and you recognize you can just overlay this new narrative on top of it if you choose. Old patterns in behavior will still pop up as events in your life but you'll begin to see them as a past way of being showing up to teach you a lesson you're finally ready to learn rather than just some bad habit you have. When you're ready to learn from it then it becomes a lesson and an opportunity rather than a bad habit or mistake.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 10:48 pm 
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Flow83 wrote:
What "zone" did you think you were in before this conversation?
Hi Flow83!

Yeah I think that in her eyes I was/am this very admired friend, I think she just build affection from me, not sexual attraction (as I egoically thought), :lol: . And She just confimed this for me when I said to her I liked her in "that way" :x .

I'm honest when I said before that I've never had a woman friend, like never ever, that's why I had a hard time trying discerning the behaviors of a sexually attracted woman vs just womanly friendshit lol. That is sending me a massive cuantity of goofy snapchat pictures of her doing weird faces, singing me songs, basically telling me everything she did in that day, or where she was (she cropped out the bf, I know this because those where the same pictures she has on her fb page but untouched) the daily good morning messages, and all that womanly thing... Also telling me that she isn't feeling advancing with her bf, and all that whole bs, that I know first hand are the daily routine of an insecure woman.

I thought this was a interested lady. I'm very observing dude, just the stacking of evidence felt more hard for me because I thought those where behaviours of an attracted female, and maybe they are, who knows. I'm learning to deal with uncertainty and confusion too, I don't have a teacher to snap me in the head when I derail, I'm becoming one by myself, a very lousy one, but that's what I got for the moment.


I want to bang her tho too... Wait... Perhaps, that's the whole point, yeah maybe I'm thinking because she's my friend I cannot bang her... :mrgreen: but it's just a spoon, or maybe not... Well no prob. :roll:
Maybe I'm just rolling in my own bullshit hehe :lol:

Hi lucidream!

I really enjoy reading you dude.

That's a really deep explanation of being dissasociated from the "identity" and at the same time being totally flexible. :shock:
Or that's what I understood.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2017 11:34 pm 
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Dali wrote:
Flow83 wrote:
What "zone" did you think you were in before this conversation?
Hi Flow83!

Yeah I think that in her eyes I was/am this very admired friend, I think she just build affection from me, not sexual attraction (as I egoically thought), :lol: . And She just confimed this for me when I said to her I liked her in "that way" :x .

I'm honest when I said before that I've never had a woman friend, like never ever, that's why I had a hard time trying discerning the behaviors of a sexually attracted woman vs just womanly friendshit lol. That is sending me a massive cuantity of goofy snapchat pictures of her doing weird faces, singing me songs, basically telling me everything she did in that day, or where she was (she cropped out the bf, I know this because those where the same pictures she has on her fb page but untouched) the daily good morning messages, and all that womanly thing... Also telling me that she isn't feeling advancing with her bf, and all that whole bs, that I know first hand are the daily routine of an insecure woman.

I thought this was a interested lady. I'm very observing dude, just the stacking of evidence felt more hard for me because I thought those where behaviours of an attracted female, and maybe they are, who knows. I'm learning to deal with uncertainty and confusion too, I don't have a teacher to snap me in the head when I derail, I'm becoming one by myself, a very lousy one, but that's what I got for the moment.


I want to bang her tho too... Wait... Perhaps, that's the whole point, yeah maybe I'm thinking because she's my friend I cannot bang her... :mrgreen: but it's just a spoon, or maybe not... Well no prob. :roll:
Maybe I'm just rolling in my own bullshit hehe :lol:
That sounds like the friend zone from the start. Tbh you could allow yourselves to both be in that zone but if you had just given her 70-80% less attention from that zone than you did and you did it all on your own terms rather than hers, you would have been the one friend zoning her rather than vice versa and she would have been busy figuring out what she needed to do to get the attention from you that she actually wanted which most likely would have been fucking you at some point. If you don't allow enough space between the two of you for her emotions to remain unresolved and for her to stew in them then there won't be enough tension for attraction to be built from. Sometimes the process is nearly instant and other times it takes quite a bit of time for attraction to build or shift from subconscious to conscious.

It's OK as well to allow yourself to want to fuck her without acting on it. If you don't feel that you are getting signs or a vibe from her that indicates you should act on it then acting in some way towards fucking her is just going to come off as needy/creepy/friendzone'd. Instead of being scared that if you do nothing which is actually doing something, it's doing the opposite of all the things you think will get you laid that will only further hurt your chances...instead allow the wanting to fuck her to just be there on your end with all the emotions that are involved in that. See and face the reality that you are already not fucking her so the worst that could happen is what is currently happening, recognize that it's only your attachment to this want/desire that is bringing you suffering and LET IT GO. Now on her end what do you think is happening? You have allowed the space for her to want your attention, wonder why she isn't getting it, wonder what she needs to do to get it, wonder if she has sex with you if you would give her more of your attention, wonder what it would be like to have sex with you, imagine having sex with you, imagine being in a relationship with you, etc etc...

Now once you've done this and on your end let go of the wanting which doesn't mean it's not there...just that you're no longer attached to it. From this place every time you do choose to interact with her going forward, how do you think she will feel in your presence when there is this mutual wanting to resolve this tension physically that you have already resolved in your own mind therefore you don't really care either way if it gets resolved physically or not so you're totally nonchalant about whatever happens. Now if you guys hook up, great that was fun. And if not, oh well her loss bc you've already come to terms with it and resolved the emotions so you're ok with hooking up or not hooking up.
Dali wrote:
Hi lucidream!

I really enjoy reading you dude.

That's a really deep explanation of being dissasociated from the "identity" and at the same time being totally flexible. :shock:
Or that's what I understood.

I would say it's more detaching from the ever changing social identity that takes place in the mind or what people on the outside reflect back to you and residing more in that unchangeable space where all that other "stuff" arises from and falls back into.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2017 2:27 pm 
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Yes lack of experience is a factor here. Understanding that daily chatting, talking about the guys she is dating is much closer to how girls interact with their girlfriends than someone where there is a sexual dynamic taking place. This is not black and white but it has more to do with underlying vibe, which IS distinct and clear.

The thing about this type of inner work, is that on a gut level, you do know this. We don't see the simple clarity of things because of our attachment to emotions, and our concepts about everything. When you can connect to what is going on in the interactions and not be enamored with the interaction itself or details like the amount of it, you get clarity. It's the same for inner work, not being so enamored with every emotion and insight that arises and getting to what is behind it.

Any new information we take in, even if it is good, will usually just be usurped by whatever is going on emotionally. This means guys will do every wrong play in the book but in their mind "I'm gathering evidence" or "I'm using this opportunity to say what I won't stand for" or "I'm gonna keep this situation going as a chance to do inner work" - heard it all- when the reality of what is going on is painfully clear and right in front us. I emphasize painfully, because that is the only reason we don't see it (we don't want to).

On seeing clearly, it would never cross your mind as a "technique" to not chat every day about nothing, nor would you make any stand about it. It's simply something you wouldn't do, any more than you would watch The View for 2 hours every day, it just wouldn't register as something you should spend time with vs. places where investing your energy gives you a positive return.

BTW your engaging with her in that way reiterates you guys as buddies so it is natural that she sees you that way. You can't really put it on women or a need for attention because this dynamic literally can't happen without your "agreeing" to it. It's not something you can course correct or try to make some reclaiming of power because that is all going on inside of you. It's a matter of who and where you are, not what you are doing.

Not being bothered by this is a great step but it is actually the first step, which some confuse as the last. If you decide you are willing to see it clearly, let the chips fall where they have and explore any blind spots and whatever inside of you contributed to this it can be a huge growing experience.

This is more subtle than it sounds and there is a reason I am bringing it up via this post, and obviously it's geared more generally then at you. This is something a lot of men pay lip service to, everyone likes the idea of it. However it often quickly gets deflected back to being about women, about modifying behavior: I'll never be friends with a woman like that again, no more attention from me!, I'm done with women! etc (until a few months later with the next story) -- instead of developing discernment. If you have a good vibe going on in your dating / sex / relationship / whatever you want life, there is no big deal about being friends with women, even if you are attracted to her etc. it's not a significant event in life or this painful thing.

So I encourage you to keep taking these practices to their very core which brings a layer of simplicity and clarity to it all, and to where not only are you not triggered by the silly unavoidable craziness in life, but you are also having the types of relationships you want as though it were a natural because it is.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2017 1:42 am 
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Thank you for the replies guys.

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