Hi,
I was sitting here watching youtube and I clicked to this video by Sandman called "
the illusion of loneliness".
Anyway while i was reading few comments the comment from "K0ntakt5" talks about indifference in a place like a bar, here is one of the quotes.
<<Both men and women are attracted to indifference- if you have noticed this effect yet, here it is simply. The girls you like tend not to like you, and the girls who like you tend to be a little off your radar. Or to put it another way, you want what you don't have. This affects males and females. When I made the conscious decision to stop dating women, something profound happened. After I stopped looking at them, walk on past without hesitation, gave off no body language, no signals of attraction, suddenly girls everywhere were trying to get my attention. These were girls I never got attention from. At the same time, I was getting attention from men, this is where it gets weird: straight men either started to want to come up and introduce themselves to me, or they started wanting to fight me, because this indifference was a threat to their dominance and masculinity, i.e., I should be acknowledging the presence of the superior alpha male and showing the appropriate deference. By not doing this, I'm breaking the hierarchy, and it's like an open challenge, plus they see the women and the other beta males gathering around. Finally, the gay men also saw this and also became attracted and would orbit like the others did. People of both genders are intrinsically self centered narcissists, it just is a matter to what degree. When you ignore people, they take it personally, of course, because everyone wants to feel special and no one wants to be ignored. A word of caution: I'm told I'm good looking, but I am naturally skinny and I don't have a body builder physique certainly. Different results might be had if I looked like a homeless vagrant, then people don't care if I ignore them. But if you're reasonably attractive and reasonably put together, you WILL draw attention to yourself by ignoring. And it can be a bit dangerous, be careful if you're going to do it- I've got guys who know are aware of who I am, I have no idea who they are who want to fight me, they go out of their way when they see me at bars I go to with their machismo laid out. The only thing I do is ignore this, too, and so far I haven't got into too much trouble, but there's a first time. Suffice it to say, we are a predatory species, the act of wanting attention from another human is in a sense predatory. People size everyone else up in terms: is this person someone who can give me what I want or avoid or fight. That's pretty much what it boils down to.>>
<<What happens when you display indifference to attractive women who are used to attention from men virtually 365 days a year- you know, turning heads, men staring, men offering to open doors, men orbiting, men making themselves available- it scrambles their brains, they don't come across this behavior often. It's like: here is this guy who comes off much more cool than most other guys, he must be a hotshot (he doesn't look "hungry"). Jerk. How dare he not pay attention. I must know more. On the other hand, that affects men too. I didn't realize to the extent that men try to insinuate themselves in each other's space and try to dominate one another, and when you act like you don't even notice it, one or two things happen- to a lot of guys that's intimidating, because you don't appear to be rattled at all. But to some guys who have something to prove, they'll resent your for your indifference, because it's like a challenge to them when you are minding your own business and not twitching or jerking or paying attention when they are trying to assert themselves, they think you think you're better than them. That's how the women perceive it, too, so that appeals to their hypergamy instinct. You can try it for yourself as an experiment. Go out to a bar and be neutral, don't mirror anyone else's body language, don't look at anyone else, appear detached and cool, and just in your own business; move slow, make your movements slower than everyone else's, appear to be the calmest most indifferent person in the room. I promise you the entire room will start to gather around you or start basically look at you and talk about you.>>
Bye for now,
PimpDee.