I've had the privilege of seeing this kind of mindset correct itself over the last month as the environment I've been in I'm around some of the same women every few days on avg but sporadically.
One very specific girl gave me all the confirmation I needed along the way, yet at various times I would question things as she was coming around very slowly and I still very much wanted to fuck her, or so it seemed at the time. This wanting to fuck her was residual emotional attachment from years before and a very weak mindset that was now popping back into my reality to be overcome/changed/transmuted. I would go back into that place of feeling desperate and angry for short periods before I would snap out of it. I'm sure many of you know the experience. Here's a little history and what transpired int the last month.
This is a girl I've interacted with randomly over the last 3 years or so. Sometimes we would be somewhat friendly with each other and other times very cold, usually cold though. If I wasn't in a specific situation that required me to interact with her we wouldn't even acknowledge one another. Fast forward to 1 month ago I see her for the first time in a year or more. Over the course of this month I would see her interactions with other guys and they would all just kiss her ass and act like she was the greatest thing to walk the earth. I didn't do this, in fact I wouldn't even acknowledge her for the first few days I saw her and we didn't have any direct need to interact so all I would get from her was as follows...I would see her looking at me and then I would see her standing up and doing things to draw attention to herself when she knew she was in my line of vision. I knew she was doing this in my gut even though what happens next would seemingly prove that to be not true, however you must remember that women are masters of deception, deceit, and misdirection. They never want you to know their true/full intentions and want everything on their terms. When they feel they have found a man who will not play by those rules, she has found her challenge and the game begins....
So a few days later I'm thrown into a scenario where we are forced to interact directly for several hours. I sit down and she immediately asks me a question and is very friendly. I give her a fairly cold response as she has a guy sitting behind her and I know she's just playing a game. I become slightly more friendly and she gets colder with me so now we just ignore each other. She is sitting right next to me and gets an opportunity to move away from me and does. We basically ignore each other for the next few hours and the entire interaction ends up being about 95% ignoring and 5% acknowledgement at least on the surface.
As the days go on we see each other in passing. She is beginning to realize I'm not going to submit to her and kiss her ass like every other guy she runs into. She starts acknowledging me in passing with a simple eyebrow raise. I either do the same or don't even acknowledge her at all. Sometimes she reverts back to ignoring me and as we interact more and more we slowly are warming up to each other and begin saying hello to one another. We also are being put into a situation where we are directly forced to interact with each other for hours at a time. I'm becoming aware of a lot of feelings between us....sexual attraction, frustration, anger, nervousness. I'm realizing these are my past ways of being around her being reflected back at me in the present moment to see if I accept them as my current reality. Sometimes I do and other times I don't get sucked back into the Matrix and I see right through them, I laugh at them for trying to pull me back in and stay feeling good. Ultimately she can't hide her attraction for me, it's written all over her face, the way she can't look at me without looking away, the attraction I feel in my body when I look at her a certain way and she sees it. I'm becoming more of a man around her and choosing the emotions I wish to experience regardless of how she behaves or whether or not we ever actually fuck.
There was a day we had to spend all day together and a funny thing began happening. She actually began sitting next to me and moving closer towards me where in our first interaction when she had the option, she moved further away. Now she's sitting next to me very frequently and during this day when we spent all day next to each other. We both opened up for hours and were very friendly and having fun with each other. This was the day everything started to transition. Before this I would allow myself to feel angry that she wasn't coming around faster, frustrated that I wanted to fuck her and nothing was happening, etc... After this day I was slowly beginning to realize that this is what she was experiencing in the game we had been playing with one another and she was feeling angry and frustrated that I wasn't submitting to her, chasing her, kissing her ass, etc... I had been accepting these feelings as my own(in a way they were as they were a reflection of past emotions) and I was living in these past emotions in my current reality up until this day. And this is where the major shift took place. For the next couple weeks I began shifting into a place where my mindset became.....
Oh well, if she doesn't act right around me then she ain't ever gonna get this dick....sucks for her. I began to demand out of women that they actively do something to seduce me, to give me a reason to allow them an opportunity to be with me. If they didn't then they just get ignored bc I don't have time for a woman that isn't doing everything that she can to be with me. I began to greatly value my time and attention and decided I will only give it to women on my terms, not theirs. I realized I'm the opportunity, I'm the prize, not the other way around.
Now the last few days a funny thing has been happening. I don't see many women that can move me into an emotional place. I've become incredibly picky. The experience of feeling strong sexual attraction to a woman isn't even enough to move me. At first when you're shut down from your own nature/biology and not consciously aware of your sexual attraction for someone else as a feeling in your body, the experience of it becomes like a novelty. It was an experience I cherished, wanted to hold onto, and felt I needed to turn into sex every time. Now I just sit in it and enjoy the experience, I enjoy watching the girl I'm experiencing it with squirm as I sit there relaxed and turned on. I see women breaking their necks to look at me. Meanwhile my level of care or concern about any of it becomes less and less, it's simply an amusing and enjoyable experience. I remain focused on my work/career and have put almost no effort into women and am happier than ever. Now that isn't to say I don't want to get laid either and I'm some monk, just that I demand women show up on my terms which is I sit back and chill and they chase me and do all the work to get my attention and then perhaps I'll decide to give them a little of it. I will also say that as this is all a new experience for me, I have missed a few roof jumps. I have had women submit to me immediately and then I said the wrong thing which meant that despite the fact they chose me, my lack of experience in this new way of being kept me from being able to convert it into further interactions/sex. Instead of being upset about that I just enjoyed it as a learning experience and as part of the process. The process is the rewiring of your nervous system and behaviors to respond in a way unlike the former way in which you used to REACT rather than consciously RESPOND to the emotions you feel in any given moment. Reaction is not choice, response is a conscious choice in how you will behave.
I'm a completely new man now and in the process of becoming more and more myself everyday. Big shout out to all the guys here, especially Kidd and Flow who have helped me immensely in private sessions. The power of your mind to change your life experience is incredible and very real. It's just a matter of shattering old perceptions and stepping into a new way of seeing everything and holding that view no matter what is thrown at you, then you will slowly see your entire reality shift to match the way your mind sees reality....but first you must see it in your mind and reject attempts by people to use negative emotions to pull you back into the Matrix/old ways of being and seeing reality.