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PostPosted: Fri Jun 26, 2015 8:27 am 
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Prince of Persia creator gives an emotional talk on self awareness and acceptance

Prince of Persia creator Jordan Mechner has given an emotionally charged presentation at Gamelab in Barcelona, advising his audience to embrace their shadows in order to stay sane.
http://www.gamesindustry.biz/articles/2 ... our-shadow

The GDC Talk is here: http://www.gamasutra.com/view/news/2270 ... Persia.php

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 27, 2015 5:02 pm 
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I liked this, the balance of negative and positive traits was interesting.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 01, 2015 7:29 pm 
I watched the video first and then read the article.

I think I missed some of the important points by watching the video.

What did come across to me from the video is that you have to accept competing interests. I think he only mentioned Jung once in the video.

Thank you for posting this. I've been thinking about my work and competing interests. It has a lot of food for thought. I write so much for projects that it wouldn't hurt to write for myself and keep a journal of my thoughts about everything.


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PostPosted: Sat May 13, 2017 1:22 pm 
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Slim Titan wrote:
I watched the video first and then read the article.

I think I missed some of the important points by watching the video.

What did come across to me from the video is that you have to accept competing interests. I think he only mentioned Jung once in the video.

Thank you for posting this. I've been thinking about my work and competing interests. It has a lot of food for thought. I write so much for projects that it wouldn't hurt to write for myself and keep a journal of my thoughts about everything.

Did anything come of this with a journal? I'm sure it would be very interesting to read.


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PostPosted: Sun May 14, 2017 4:15 am 
Hah! There are three now! LOL!

I filled up one journal that was an extension from 2012. There are some dark things in there. I've come to terms with a lot.

One journal is for business. Two are personal. One personal journal is completely filled up. I'm 1/3rd of the way through the second. I've been writing daily for a few weeks. I usually don't keep track and write at salient/inflection points near or around my inner work.

I've gotten a lot of high level perspective on myself. It's ridiculous. I've come a long way since like 2011 or 2012. I only had a few entries then. There are major gaps along the way like there should be.

Most days are a repeat of the same day. Groundhog day doesn't stop. It's really creepy or Erie when you see it for what it is.

I will post contents and sections soon for a personal project I'm working on. It's very deep and reflects some important points in growth areas of the mindset.

Confronting your shadow isn't as deep as you think. There are actually really nasty labels for everything dude. However, the funny thing about the shadow is that those guys are the jackasses in you. :lol:

No seriously, unmasked your shadow is mostly harmless and is a revolting mechanism meant to protect you. It's everything that's too dark or too unsavory, unsafe, or dangerous etc. To be accepted by society or yourself. It's mostly harmless. There are some STRONG "characters" in there that can be fuel or motivation.

Accepting your shadow is the first step to wholeness. Like, not being unified. It's more like being cool and unaffected. I've come to realization that we shun lots of things all the time. There will be many competing interests. You just have to accept it. That's less about the shadow, but that's how the shadow is born.

FYI, Religion played a critical role for me in dealing with the shadow. I had to learn to be cool without religion. I had to learn to be cool with imperfections with everything.

Grinus' quote is quite appro pro here. However, the perfection doesn't come from the statue. The perfection is in the artist and canvas. It's when the artist has realized they have moved as close as they can. It's when they realize the canvas reflects them. The canvas started perfect. You can only add imperfections when creating the statue.

You have to consciously seek to abstain from tainting the channeling of desire. You can then see every discarded piece as the shadow. It's what wasn't useful. You just have to be cool with the jackass stuff in you. They're very strong feelings honestly.

I'm probably rambling here and have actually been drinking. I've had a really good week. I will post a complete synopsis of the project I'm working on soon.

Edit:

Needless to say, this stuff usually boils down to the punitive super ego of society. Rejections, pain, struggle, religion, crime etc. The deeper you go the darker it gets. The harder you work the brighter the light at the end of the cave.


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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 12:54 am 
Really, the journal is a good habit.

You can get lost in groundhog day, which is why you need a journal. You need to keep track of the progresses.

I was literally in a phone interview today, like fuck this woman interviewing me. I'm tired of being interviewed by women. I never get a fair shake.

I told half truths the whole way. When she asked me if I checked out their company website I told her, "I did. If I'm not giving you the answer you want to hear then so be it. I'm cool with it being a deal breaker."

She immediately qualified herself and the company.

I've gotten more from people I know by being a decent human being than by interviewing to corporate jobs. Like, my shadow took over. I was like how can I make up the most stuff to have the most fun? I'm qualified for their bullshit job, but they won't ever give me a fair shake.

I was dizzy from allergy medication and annoyed. My heart sat at a cool 40 - 55 beats per minute (I checked​ and approximated). I told her anything I felt like telling her. What does she say? "I don't know xyz etc." Exactly hoe! How are you qualified to tell if I'm a good fit?

By the end of the conversation, I was leading it. No sweat. That dark stuff in you is useful when you really don't care at all. It's meant to help. Parts of it are entirely dedicated to manipulating weak minded people. When you get it on your side, it can be a powerful tool to propel you into unknown areas without fear and regret.

The Shadow is comprised of fear, struggle, regret, anger, and other emotions you don't want to or can't feel. Fear is the opposite of curiosity btw. Fear is a motivating factor for people when they feel out of their league. It's part of the long con.

Will I get the job? Maybe. She made sure to say I would hear something by tomorrow end of day though, which pleases my ears. I got her to commitment to stuff without being even 1% committed.

Your shadow is your friend. It's a very useful friend in that thinks in ways other parts of you don't.

Do not neglect the part of you that is willing to take on what the rest of you can't or won't take on.


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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 3:45 am 
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Great posts bruh! The last one really hit home. I started a journal somewhat but haven't been consistent either, I'm definitely feeling more compelled lately to start keeping track of what's going on.

I finally embraced a big part of my darkside in a situation I had been holding back and a completely new side of me emerged out of it, I already notice women responding different to me. It was like I made peace with myself symbolically through this event/situation that happened.

I ran into my ex from around 4 years ago a couple weeks ago. We run into each other from time to time and every time we do it's the same old story, she's trying to get back with me. We've gotten back together a few times after to hook up but it's been about 2.5 years since the last time. We were both needy and codependent during the relationship and in the last 2.5 years she has since become a single mom. When we first got together I took her down the brainwashed, fairytale path where we hang out/date a few times before we hook up, even though this was a girl that would have hooked up with me the first night if I was then who I am now. Needless to say every time we see each other it feels gross for me bc she attempts to hold me into that reality and frame me as the perfect guy/gentleman/relationship material kind of guy.

So I ran into her a couple weeks ago she was looking at me like she wanted to jump on me right there. When I talked to her she was really nervous/anxious and I could see her holding onto things around her to keep her from shaking. We talk cordially for a few minutes and then she gives me her new number and tells me I should come by this bar she's gonna be working at. I politely blow off the invite and take her number. The whole interaction again made me feel gross as she is seeing me in this way that isn't true to who I am.

Fast forward a couple weeks later and my dark side emerges and I get a wild hair up my ass to text her with a few demands...

I tell her if she brings 2 of her friends over she can watch me have a 3some with them and this is the only way she could get with me again, to start bringing her friends with her. She texts back about how disgusting and disrespectful I am. I tell her I know she wants some dick and then she is texting back denying it and saying she just wanted to be friends and chill(lol ok). I remind her that the last time she was over at my place, I turned her down and she begged me to shove my dick down her throat in my parking garage, she asked me not to text her again and then continues emo texting me. I'm reading the onslaught of texts that are coming in and I'm just laughing my ass off. Years ago I would have been horrified that my reputation would be ruined or some nonsense like that by texting her these things. Now I'm just fully owning who I am and what I want. I want to hook up with some of her friends and I have no real interest in messing with her or her drama, if however she brought some friends over and played by my rules she could get it again for a minute.

Ever since then I've been like a completely different person. I just feel differently and I made peace with the fact that I want to do some nasty things to quite a few girls I see around, and that some will want to and others will think I'm a disgusting pig....either way I don't really care what they think as long as I feel good about myself, it's their own job to get on board with my program or move out of my way.


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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 1:35 pm 
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To follow up the last two posts.

I purposefully go to an interview every few months (3-6 roughly), something that might tempt me but I am not sure I might take. Something that has got me intrigued. It might be the company, it might be the position, the location, the work, something that has grabbed my interest and I want to find out more.

Go in with the attitude that they are to tempt you.

Is this position enough to grab my interest?
Will it move me forward along my path?
Are they a company I want to work for?
How flexible are they on remuneration and benefits etc?
What are the team like?
Any other queries you might have.

So present yourself to them, however you are not trying to sell yourself to them, that will happen naturally if you are yourself and you know you have the skills. It is more giving them a chance to sell themselves to you, giving yourself a chance to find out more about them.

Not being overly overt in this, not hiding it either.

Interviews are very revealing things, for both sides.

One curious thing is, how long it takes the interviewer to realise this is not going like their other interviews and how they respond to that. That alone is very telling.

Now think about the parallels to other related subjects (e.g. Women)

It is a practice I recommend regularly to others I know and meet, I would strongly recommend it to readers of this board.

Remember, you do not have to accept the position, even if it is offered to you, you can just walk away.

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Fri May 19, 2017 2:37 pm 
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That's amazing the way you wrote that out. That's really the way you have to view everything in life, as Kidd says everything is conditional. The less conditions you put on anything in life the more you can enjoy it right there but you don't need to have it. You're willing to tempt yourself with the possibility bc you know you can pass on it and be just as good. We learn this more and more as we go through life being tempted by the pleasures and trying to side step the pain and experiences we don't like. The more we can welcome the the good with the bad the more we can feel satisfied and turned on to be alive. This is what others speak of as indifference in that you're good either way. You can be tempted by a sexy girl or a high paying corporate gig and be willing to potentially explore or walk away from the opportunity depending where you are in your life.

I've gone through a fair amount of material over the years and different guys put it different ways. Brent Smith calls it being indifferent or being carefree. Others call it letting go of emotional conditioning. The way I would best explain it is the ability to feel turned on regardless of what's happening in your life or around you for as much of your waking state as possible, increasing it as you learn to let go of emotional conditions. My perspective at this point is I feel turned on, I see random "ticks of anxiety" release and sometimes fire and other times I choose not to fire as I disconnect old patterns in my nervous system with my current mindset. I see people around me and their nervous ticks of anxiety more and based on the feeling in the air is the best way of putting it, I'm becoming more aware of why they're nervous and see how the situation and moment is very malleable. It seems to me it's basically maintaining that inner feeling of being turned on inside w/o needing to be hard, for as much of your waking state as possible wo feeling as tho you need to resolve the feeling in some way as you see all feelings eventually resolve themselves wo your need to do anything at all. It can be uneasy to sit with this realization but once had and you begin to accept it it's like you're seeing over the other side of the fence and you see a paradise. It's full of women and all the pleasures you can think of but there's also a lot of pain that comes with experience of life and you recognize that on your path to letting that energy resolve itself you just sit back and enjoy the show, take the good with the bad, love yourself where you're at, and enjoy it all along the way.


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PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2017 1:01 am 
Grinus,

Your response as always is very deep thoughtful. Just for shits and giggles, I asked questions like those and let her know I would like to speak to the hiring manager to find out answers she couldn't give me.

Unlike the U.K., the US has many gatekeepers and way less regulation about fair employment practices. She responded by end of day today, which is cool. I didn't move forward in the interview with the hiring manager. Go figure.

Fyi, I never hear back next day and don't move on to the next round/screening. Someone was butt hurt.

I asked meaningful questions and couldn't get a straight answer about anything.

This is why jobs/careers are for suckers. I said everything that was relevant with numbers. I even talked about techniques and sales theory. I know that I'm by far qualified for the job.

They viewed my linkedin profile though. So it goes from here's a candidate with qualified experience to, "Here's a black guy...[insert prejudiced thought followed by racist action]"

This is why I let my shadow takeover and have fun.

I really like your post because it's an experiment that will show you the truth rather than what you like.

I've never interviewed in-person or over the phone and received 1 single adequate response to any of the questions you stated. You will only get their stock response that keeps them from getting sued.

Companies are like women, HR people are usually women, corporations are usually female majority, and they love using a checklist to assess people like women. Faulty yes, hilarious, yes. Broken? Yes.

The ironic part of getting a job is that you're best suited to get a job when you already have one! Corporations love taking the cheating employee with no loyalty or dedication to his or her current employer. They even actively poach employees.

I could go on, but I'm proudly unemployable. You get more offers and opportunities in life by exploring your curiosity about people. Unconventional definitely. Worthwhile yes. Harder than the conventional route, yes. However the hard way is the rewarding way. It's also the safe way. The conventional way is the dangerous way.

Edit: @luciddream, I will make a report about dealing with journal and the project I'm currently working on. It has nothing to do with women though.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 01, 2017 9:14 am 
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Grinus is a laser beam of truth.

It's not about women, but it all is.

Thank you.

peregrinus wrote:
To follow up the last two posts.

I purposefully go to an interview every few months (3-6 roughly), something that might tempt me but I am not sure I might take. Something that has got me intrigued. It might be the company, it might be the position, the location, the work, something that has grabbed my interest and I want to find out more.

Go in with the attitude that they are to tempt you.

Is this position enough to grab my interest?
Will it move me forward along my path?
Are they a company I want to work for?
How flexible are they on remuneration and benefits etc?
What are the team like?
Any other queries you might have.

So present yourself to them, however you are not trying to sell yourself to them, that will happen naturally if you are yourself and you know you have the skills. It is more giving them a chance to sell themselves to you, giving yourself a chance to find out more about them.

Not being overly overt in this, not hiding it either.

Interviews are very revealing things, for both sides.

One curious thing is, how long it takes the interviewer to realise this is not going like their other interviews and how they respond to that. That alone is very telling.

Now think about the parallels to other related subjects (e.g. Women)

It is a practice I recommend regularly to others I know and meet, I would strongly recommend it to readers of this board.

Remember, you do not have to accept the position, even if it is offered to you, you can just walk away.


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PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2019 12:39 pm 
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Bryan Cranston on Auditions
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I used to think that "I'm going in there to try to get a job". But when you put yourself in a position of need/want, you relinquish power and control over to some unknown entity. It evaporates out of you if you need/want something. You are not in a position of control.

If you need/want that job it will show. It will seep out and people will be able to tell that there's a need/want. Nobody wants to hire someone who needs a job. We want to hire people who are confident in what they're doing and saying and selling themselves.

Do you know the feeling when you give something to another person, e.g. a present? And you are excited because your friend is going to love this present, they needed a scarf and they're complaining about it. And here it is and they open it up "Oh my god! This is what I need". It makes us feel great, whether you're donating to a charity or on a soup line or helping someone, it makes us feel empowered to give. That's the same point of view you need to take into that room. I'm here to give you something, something of value.

Now this is where it gets tricky because you can't look at it in a conceited, self-centered way. It's not at all that, it is a quiet confidence. If I ask you if you are talented, you'd better say yes. I don't want to get false modesty. If you are doing that you don't belong in this profession. It's not being boastful, it's just saying "yes, I'm talented and I own that and I value my talent", so when I go into a room to pitch my story as a director/writer/actor, I am here to give you something. It may be the solution to your problem but that's up to you. All I'm doing is giving you an option. So when you come into a room and you have confidence, I'm on the other side and I direct/produce and I'm seeing people come in all the time and I can tell immediately who has a sense of confidence and who is flop sweating.

There was one guy who said "success is just focusing all your attention on the thing that you do and love, without having a claim on an outcome." So I thought I'm not here to get a job, I'm here to do a job. Subtle difference, enormous effect. Just think about the difference: if you only went in that room focus on what you do, create a compelling character and present it, and that's it and you walk away. You've done your job. Everything else is outside your purview. It's not your decision to call you back. Once that happened it was a weight off my shoulders.

The second thing that happened as a residual effect of this was enormous too. I used to be very competitive because I'm here to get a job and they're trying to get my job, so it's positioning and testosterone comes out, the sense of competition. When I adopted this new philosophy that all went, it all disappeared. So remember, I'm doing all my work without an attachment to an outcome. So I didn't claim ownership on that role, it wasn't mine. I'm doing this part and I'm presenting it, I'm done. So if I heard a friend got a job that I also auditioned for, it wasn't mine so I can honestly celebrate my friend's job. That's what you want.

This is what's going to sustain you through the years, through 37 years. If you don't make this change a little seed of resentment will start to plant itself and soon it's a plant, a tree, a forest of resentment and anger. And you will implode because you have not given over the idea that if someone else gets a job that you auditioned for or you pitched, and it's caving you in as a person, you need help. Start now, adopt this philosophy. It cleanses your spirit, it's so cool when you can earnestly tell someone who got the job, "oh you got it, that's great, I'm happy for you". It was never mine. It's like me finding a wallet here and I look at it "oh it's yours". I'm not angry, it's not mine. It's his wallet so give it to him. "I'm happy I found your wallet" because if I lost my wallet it would be nice if someone found it.

It is amazing what you can do if you just let that all go. You are here to do a job, not to get a job.

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The opposite of courage in our society is not cowardice, it's conformity.


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