but, only when you're focused on the fun of the interaction between TWO PEOPLE and not on the win.
Yes!!! I'm glad you said this. This is the
key to consistently successful and satisfying verbal jousting - when you're focused on the enjoyment and there's no thought of winners or losers involved.....
Ironically, i've also noticed that the more i'm in this state, the more likely I am to gain the upper hand (whoever she is) - it's the magic of non-attachment (or letting go) at work, I guess. And because it's done in this spirit, she ENJOYS submitting. The occasional blushes and PLEASURABLY submissive looks are priceless.....
I verbal-joust with females of ALL ages (even old women - they can be real fun too
), and it's fun. So much fun. I really have to hand it to females in this regard - they are SO much better than dudes at this. Some guys take themselves waaaaay to seriously to do this in an enjoyable way.
Mind you, there are guys who are cool to poke fun with as well. And these are the guys who I usually end up hanging out with.
Also the bitch has to be worth jousting with.
Yep - occasionally i'll come across one that plays aggressively to win - no thought to enjoyment whatsoever. Once I realise this, I exit (even if it means conceding). Now I think about it, there's no need to pissed with them either:
- I'm sure my gut would've been screaming at me "Stay away from that bitch!", so if I didn't listen to it or notice it, I only have myself to blame.
- Bitches like this are doing me a favour, letting me know that they're not worth my time or consideration.
Distinction: here i'm not referring to chicks who have a good string of comebacks; those are just better than I am . And the rare ones i've met like this have been pretty cool about it.
Y'know, sometimes the ones who play hard to win can actually be the most fun, if only to see them bought down a few notches
But yeah, women are generally much more comfortable in this regard - but remember, they've been doing it since they could talk, or even before. I see it ALL the time. Doesn't matter if they are 3, 13, 23 or 43. They're behavioural geniuses in terms of instinctively knowing how to get what they want through exploitation our emotions. Altair, being a man, needed to control, needed to win. I bet that bitch in his original post knew this. That's actually one of the things I respect women for. Buuut, everything has a chink it's armour. I always say Women make the best politicians, because Men haven't learnt how to respect them except in a post-Feminist pussy worship way.
As for verbal combat, I admit I have ceded a little bit of possession with the example above. She's got one eye on my ball. she hasn't stolen it yet, but I think she senses an opportunity. My weakness is that I love to know what people want, and why. I'm also quite poetic, so combined this tends to cause me to over-elaborate at times and neglect that less is more. Recognising mistakes is part of the learning I guess.
As Kidd wrote earlier, initiate radio silence.