Do not get me wrong fellas. A superman I am not.
I'm shocked.
I haven't transformed and become an ideal picture of myself.
Delusion of the mind that such a thing exists.
I'll tell you this though - I feel better about myself. I am less willing to complain and more willing to fix things.
Dropping the complainer in you is
actually an achievement.
My mind is now searching for ways to achieve
Just be aware that the mind will attempt to get in the way of creating. Everything comes through the mind at first, but it does not have the solutions you need. It's just a good analysing and reasoning tool if you can learn to use it effectively.
Maybe you should actually ask what achievement is in the first instance, and why you feel the need to achieve any of your goals, and what is so special about achievement that it must be done.
With regards to staying mentally strong, yes it IS difficult. Images flood the mind and slowly you find yourself thinking about accessing those virus-laden websites. Interrupting the thoughts seems to be working great for me. Enough of that for now.
Don't interrupt them. Allow them fully. Despite believing that it's 'working great for you', you're actually suppressing your thoughts which means their influence will continue to reside within and control you. This is a form of repression on your part, because
you actually fear having these thoughts. Accept the fear, and accept the thoughts. Allow, and stop repressing yourself. See what happens then.
This week I have been focusing on regulating my emotions.
Lol, why? As far as I can ascertain you are HEAVILY repressing out of fear. No worries, we've all been there. We all know how unfathomably UNCOMFORTABLE it is aswell. You're going the wrong way about this. Instead of regulating your emotions, which is counter-productive and fear based, allow yourself to feel them fully. They are there for a reason. Allow them their space, and no matter how uncomfortable you find, keep on allowing them the space to be there. If you are fearless about something, it's influence wanes with time.
I feel there's much work to be done.
The irony is that there is very little to be done at all
Don't get caught up in this notion of work, doing or effort. Your dialogue implies a person who is thinking too much, and too rigidly.
My emotions are susceptible to external influences.
No they are not. You just identify too much with your emotional life.
Ideally, I want to have my own impenetrable state of mind where I can influence others, not the other way round.
Bwahaha. Your mind trying to control again. Just let it go. Let go of the need to control people, and people will be influenced by you.
I hear people call this 'infectiousness'. I believe that can only come from indifference. The idea of being 'okay either way'.
More limited beliefs, more ideas. Indifference just yet another thing you are trying to control, trying to attain, trying trying trying. The 'idea' of being okay just another concept.
You're too rigid in your ideals, beliefs and wants.
This is me, recognising bullshit behaviour.