The last time I had a platonic female friend was when I was still rollin' with LittleMonster! back in the day. Aside from some nasty bumps in the road, we had a decent relationship and she was a supportive friend. However, I wasn't able to be honest with myself about my attraction to her, and that ultimately lead to some problems and foul emotions. Because of the complications that arose from from such self-deception, I decided that it would be best if I refused to become platonic friends with any woman from then on (outside of relatives or women well beyond my age).
I've been associating with a woman for a couple of weeks. Things were going super smoothly, and all our stats seemed to match up nicely. No discernible dysfunction from what I could tell, and I can usually smell that shit from a mile away. She was super interested. Not quite x-factor level, but still high. I quite fancied her myself. We conversed via Skype quite a bit, I'd say about 2 hours a day on average most days of the week. Really good conversations. Probably the best I've had with a woman. I was honest and upfront about everything including my non-platonic intentions and my eventual departure from the country. I led the interactions and made it clear that it was my way or the highway. I could tell that she didn't really like the idea that I was leaving because of some things she said, but she still went along with everything.
We went on a date with last weekend, and it went really well. She messaged me a couple of times to tell me how excited she was to meet me and that she was really curious about how I would be in person. The area where I live is really beautiful, especially this time of the year, so I told her that I wanted to go on a walk. So, we met at a place nearby and went on a walk, eventually sitting down at the dog park to the play with other people's dogs. Got slobbered on hardcore by this one pooch that ran up on me! Anyway, conversation and body language was super good and everything went as well as one could reasonably expect from a first date.
We continued to talk throughout the week on Skype, but after we finalized the plans for our date, she didn't contact me again. Bear in mind that she initiated almost every instance of contact between us, so this silence was very unusual. I thought that she was probably trying to play coy because she had hinted once that she isn't really used to initiating with guys.
When I woke up today, I checked my E-mail and got this confession:
As it turns out, I'm now seeing someone. We can still hang out tonight if you want, but it will be just as friends.
Can't say I was really surprised. I kind of slapped myself on the head like 'Ah, of course! That explains the sudden silence.' Still, I was pretty disappointed. It's rare for me to meet a girl that I actually like. I don't meet many women as it is, and I have pretty stringent filters. Well, despite the fact that I liked her, I had to refuse her friendzone invitation.
Firstly, I appreciate the fact that you were able to be honest with me.
Unfortunately, a platonic friendship between us is absolutely not possible. Like not drinking and being a vegan, not having platonic female friends is one of my strongest convictions. I believe such relationships are dishonest.
I can honestly say that I enjoyed getting to know you. I wish you the best.
I was disappointed in this sudden turn of events, but I was proud of myself for sticking to my convictions. I told her from the very beginning that being platonic wasn't going to happen. I wondered if maybe her friendzone invitation might have been some form of female testing, but I just can't be bothered with that. More important to stick to my guns than to pass her test if that was the case. Besides, what was I gonna do? Sit around with her and wait for her relationship with this other fella to dissolve? Fuck that. My beta orbiter days are long since over. I'm either the star player or I ain't on your team. Period.
My convictions are very important to me, and they are tested constantly. The friendzone is place I will never enter again, no matter what. Such self-deception is unacceptable in my book.