Interesting article on casual sex in college

“For most of you, the cornerstone of your future and happiness will be inextricably linked to the man you marry, and you will never again have this concentration of men who are worthy of you,” advised Ms. Patton, who has two sons, one a Princeton graduate and the other a current student. In many places, Ms. Patton was derided for wanting to return to the days of the “Mrs. degree,” though a few female writers, noting how hard it can be for women to find mates in their 30s, suggested that she might have a point.

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These women said they saw building their résumés, not finding boyfriends (never mind husbands), as their main job at Penn. They envisioned their 20s as a period of unencumbered striving, when they might work at a bank in Hong Kong one year, then go to business school, then move to a corporate job in New York. The idea of lugging a relationship through all those transitions was hard for many to imagine. Almost universally, the women said they did not plan to marry until their late 20s or early 30s.

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In such an overburdened college life, she said, it was rare for her and her friends to find a relationship worth investing time in, and many people avoided commitment because they assumed that someone better would always come along.

“We are very aware of cost-benefit issues and trading up and trading down, so no one wants to be too tied to someone that, you know, may not be the person they want to be with in a couple of months,” she said.

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Some women also want to wait to see how men turn out as they advance through their 20s.

A., for example, said that she did not want to settle down until she could choose a partner knowing that his goals and values were fixed.

“‘I’ve always heard this phrase, ‘Oh, marriage is great, or relationships are great — you get to go on this journey of change together,’ ” she said. “That sounds terrible.

“I don’t want to go through those changes with you. I want you to have changed and become enough of your own person so that when you meet me, we can have a stable life and be very happy.”

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“Ten years from now, no one will remember — I will not remember — who I have slept with,” A. said. “But I will remember, like, my transcript, because it’s still there. I will remember what I did. I will remember my accomplishments and places my name is hung on campus.”

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For all the focus on hookups, campuses are not sexual free-for-alls, at Penn or elsewhere. At colleges nationally, by senior year, 4 in 10 students are either virgins or have had intercourse with only one person, according to the Online College Social Life Survey. Nearly 3 in 10 said that they had never had a hookup in college. Meanwhile, 20 percent of women and a quarter of men said they had hooked up with 10 or more people.

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JDogg

Post subject: Re: Interesting article on casual sex in college

PostPosted: Mon Jul 15, 2013 7:35 pm

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Posts: 104

I found that very interesting and relevant to my life as I'm starting school at a large public university in the fall.

Two things came to my mind in reading this article:

1) I am so god damn fucking lucky, glad, and thankful that I am a man and not a woman - though this would not be so sweet without...
2) I am so ' ' ' ' that I have been exposed to the social matrix and instilled with zen values by the great people on this forum.

Some of the quotes in that article were just...uggghhh. I probably would have thrown up in my mouth if not for my ingestion of the red pill.

Really it wasn't the women and their thoughts that disgusted me, it was my generation and our thoughts as a whole. Our generation is sick, America is sick. 'Nuff said. America's a hoe and we all know there ain't no savin' hoes.

Because of 1 and 2, I now have a chance to distance myself from the disillusioned value system of american as well as feminist culture.

Also, I liked this comment I saw:

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If one equals sex with being drunk or stoned, as those women seems to do ( though it will be interesting to know if the men are also drunk / stoned ? this is not adressed in the article ) I have pity for America in 20 to 30 years from now when all those "elite" women will most likely face the big nothingness of their lives.

I wonder if the availability of porn via internet has an influence on their vision of sex : to define a satisfactory sex life as being first drunk, then done with it, looks much more like prostitution without the cash, ie going through the moves while missing the real point. Am I the only one finding more pleasure in making love rather than having sex ??

Happiness is an elusive pursuit, as countless of great minds over the centuries have written or filmed or talked about. To define it by the length of one's resume, or the size of one's bank account seems foolish at best from my point of view : at 58, I have long realized that the true treasures of life are of the human kind, starting with your partner, your kids, your friends.

What else matters ?

The old greeks said " know thyself " : it has never be truer than now for these women.

Oh and basically, to sum it all up, what I see here is goal-driven, attachment orientated culture. Big whoop, right.

"I'm going out tonight and I'm gunna hook up with X amount of guys before i find the one who is super cute with X qualities, then I'm gunna spend X minutes sucking his dick, before letting him pump me X amount of times"

"I can't settle down for a relationship because I'm graduating in X months, then I'm going to get my master's after X years, then maybe get a PHD and law degree at X place in X years, then I'll be happy and find various X (ex?)-men."

Meanwhile the girl's cooter has gained X inches in diameter and X amount of red bumps around her mouth and crotch.

Hey, whatever makes you happy right?

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