Last night was real learning experience....I distributed my number to 4 of the women that I thought were in my fan club. Each interaction was different. In my efforts not to be staunch I think I overstepped my boundaries.
I hit my boy up and he tells me that a dorm popping. I go there and actually go to the wrong place in the dorm and think he's bullshitting. Lol, I tell him I'm not going back out when he tells me the exact location.
Then, a female pops up from the party that's going on in my dorm's basement. I'm sitting on the main steps that are in front of the main door. Everybody passes through there. She looks at me and doesn't say anything. She's talked to me twice now. Before I saw her, I saw another female that I think is in my fan club. I say what's up to her and she vocalizes how she's surprised that I remember her (I don't remember her name). She's headed back to the dorm that I just left, and I wanted a good reason to go back. So, I start following the evidence trail. This bitch is drunk. I ask her about the paper and followup with a major story that the school ran. She goes on about the story all the way over to the dorm. Interestingly, when we get to the dorm she gets silent but not the quiet silent. I float around in and out of the party. She goes off with one of her female friends and two males. I contemplate figuring out where she went, but the fact that she just left the party that she came with me to counts for something.
I make my way back to my dorm. As I walk in, the girl I saw before her walks past me. I'm literally on the second floor steps, after picking up my head phones, to go grab a bite to eat. She greets me for the second time this night. I walk into the bathroom and try to talk to her, but the other guys are overbearing. I shut the fuck up. Then I ask her about buying some weed. She says she plans to smoke and tells me to follow her. I show her to another girl's room that has some weed. The plan falls through. I'm not giving a fuck now, and I walk upstairs. While playing with my phone on the way upstairs. I see the female that walked me over to other dorm.
I think I have enough evidence on her so I tell her to take my number down. She has a toothy smile hanging with her tongue sticking out the corner of her mouth just like the "penis girl" from earlier while she enters my number into her phone. She asks me my last name. The girl that told me to follow her comes up the stairs. I ask her where she's going and she says to smoke. She tells me to follow her again. I chit chat with her fat friend and tell her fat friend some pimpish shit about why she should get with this guy that she likes using myself as an example. We make it to their dorm. Apparently, this second female is a freshman. She decides to actually mix tobacco with the weed. She hasn't smoked tobacco in 3 months. I stack that, but it is a higher probability that she's doing it from the low amount of weed.
We smoke and she wants to look for more. I tell her to get rid of the can of beer that she has but doesn't listen. A staff member takes it from her. I'm getting high right now, and I'm about ready to call my night quits. I tell her to take my number down so we can smoke sometime. She asks me my last name. I can't get a look at her face because I'm walking behind her. Two down and I don't feel good about the closes because they didn't text me immediately.
We make it to another party, and I start hanging with a friend I know. I see number three in my fan club. After taking an embarrassing shot of cheap tequila. I strike up a conversation with her about the last time I saw her. She tells me something about her glass art. I ask, "are you a cutter." She asks me what I mean. In my mind, I'm shitting on myself about this projection. I compiled information that I thought was relevant to her and assimilated it with a personal projection. I go into how she's always by herself when I see her, doesn't talk to people, etc. She smiles a really deep toothy smile. Then she holds the conversation for about 10 minutes. I mostly remember her saying that she's not a cutter. It is not coincidence that she is wearing a leather jacket similar to the one I'm wearing when she hasn't worn a leather jacket all spring.
I step outside to blaze again. I do a quick 180 to see if people from the party are looking. number three is staring directly at me, but I look through her and turn around. She literally jumps and skips outside. She brushes up against me and holds the position for a few seconds. I take a hit. This female that I know was in my fan club that I fucked up with about 6 months ago is getting too wasted and too high. I see some problems developing. I walk inside after having a cigarette. I plan on leaving the party now.
I see number three again. I go up to her and tell her to take my number down. The eye contact is so strong. I'm so high I slurr my words, but I don't budge.
Her: let me get my phone
Her: I can't find my phone. Take my number.
Her: let me see if I can find my phone.
Her: I can't find my phone.
Her: I'll see you around.
Her: We see each other a lot around campus.
I never break eye contact. I never got a chance to speak. So, I just politely nod my head in a knowing way and she reciprocates my head nod. This is the second moment we had. The first moment happened when we first talked, and I asked if she was a cutter.
My gut tells me that she didn't want me because I was drunk. I saw her look at her right pocket in her peripheral vision. I also know that's where her phone was located because she brushed up against me to put it in her pocket after exchanging numbers with the female that told me to follow her to the party. She didn't go through her right pocket.
Interestingly, I think number two and number three only exchanged numbers because number two saw how similar I looked to number three because we were wearing similar leather jackets. Number two said something about fashion. I'm never slacking on my looks and neither does number three.
I leave the party. I'm so high now that I decided to sit down and collect my thoughts.
Then I see the female from this story.
http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... =20#p29412
She, number four comes thundering down the steps. She's wearing a leather jacket similar to mine too. This is not coincidence. She never wears leather jackets. I banter with her. She goes to drop off a couple beers to the party downstairs and comes back upstairs.
She wants to make up for that cigarette she borrowed. I tell her that we can share one. My lungs are on reserve right now.
My assessments from the previous thread prove to be true as she tells me she has a boyfriend. We talk, and I can't remember about what.
I tell her to take my number down. She asks me my last name.
I say, "this is has been coming for a long time." and stick my finger under her chin to kiss her. She pulls back really quick. However, she didn't recoil to my finger. I shouldn't have closed space like that.
"She says I can't because I told you I have a boyfriend." I tell that I know, "I only want be friends. I never wanted a relationship with you in the first place. I think that friendship has to come first because friendship is the basis of any good relationship."
She agrees with me and says, "all awkwardness aside I'm sending you this text."
My gut told me to kiss her and it couldn't have been wrong. Only how I executed it could have been wrong. She asks if I want anymore of the cigarette. I tell her that I already said no, "When I say something or do something. I mean what I say and do what I mean to do."
She says, "that's a good liberal to live by"
I make my way back to my dorm.
Every time I wanted to end my night definitively. Another one of my fans kept popping up.
I don't think any of my cops are strong. Strangely I feel best about the one that didn't take my number.
I'm going to continue working out this staunchness.