I learned this lesson a while ago. It´s surprising, and may even lead to a relationship.
Bravo Jared
It´s a piece of this completing process, where we recognize a part of ourselves in another person. It´s a lesson. (Big Scale)
I am glad someone saw what I was showing.
We don´t attract what we want, we attract what we are.
Like magnets, you are drawn together.. The wrong magnet and that draw is not there, instead it can be a repulsion.
If your frequencies are in harmony, things work - if they are not then they do not.
(Music analogy, some notes sound good together, some sound awful and possibly painful)
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I will explain a bit more, to give her side of it.. Hopefully this will shed some more light on this for some of the guys here.
I spoke to her on the phone last night, she was already in little girl mode when she rang up. When I picked up this phone there was this very timid voice on the end, sounding very unsure of herself saying 'hello?'. She then went all ditzy while explaining how she had met me and got my number (as I did not recognise the callerid - she had not called before), sounding very unsure as to if I would remember her or not. We had not exchanged names before this point, so names were useless
Once we got talking she said the key phrase 'It was like you were inside my mind, reading my thoughts when you said that to me, it was exactly how I felt at the time - I was watching you walk out of the store thinking he is going, he will be gone very soon, say something'
I had said to her at the time what was going through my mind, honestly and completely. This worked so powerfully because we were both thinking along the same lines. We were in sync.
I asked her why she did not say anything first and she said 'I was lost, I did not know what to say, I had stood there for minutes watching you buy things and everything I thought of to say sounded so lame and contrived that I could not say it.. I could not think of anything to say to you.' (This is a woman used to dealing with people ALL DAY EVERY DAY)
She then went on to say that when I said what I did, she went into shock as it was exactly what she was thinking, that there was this chance and it was walking away and there was nothing she could do about it, she could see it going and yet could not grasp it. She then went on to say that the last line took a while before it hit her, as she was still working through the rest while she stood there.
As soon as it did hit her, her heart starting pounding and all she could think about was getting a pen and paper before I left, she went to four tills (payment points) in the store before she found a pen and paper, she even told off one woman off for not keeping one at her till. When she got back to the door (where I was) she was convinced I would have walked off by then as it seemed ages to her that she had been gone.
I am an average guy, no big car, no big house - not overly attractive... This made NO difference at all.
The only thing that mattered to her was the connection she felt in those moments.
She said she had only felt that twice before in her life, when she was much younger, she craved to feel it again but had given up hope of feeling it again. She gets chatted up all the time but does not feel that connection, seeing as she has felt that before, without it it is not worth bothering with.
This is the manageress of a medium sized homewares/bedding/fabric store - certainly used to dealing with LOTS of people, earns quite a reasonable amount from what she told me, mid 30's, very attractive (not totally but very appealing to me in her look).
During our talk she did not throw up any red flags to me and managed not to dismiss herself, I grew more and more curious about this woman, I was getting very good vibes from her. She is coming over tomorrow night and bringing food and wine with her, she completely dismissed the idea of going out somewhere for the first meeting.
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I will re-iterate.... What I said to her (my first post) was exactly what I was thinking and feeling at the time. It hit her hard and deep.
It was not pre thought out or contrived at all, or a line or a routine, it was HONEST! When I said it I was totally congruent with it as I utterly believed it with every bone in my body.
If I look back on it, I did not hit on her so to speak, I woke her up, gave her an emotional connection and then stepped back and gave her the space to respond. It took a while for her to respond, during which time the air was thick and time seemed much slower than usual (for both of us) - it would be so easy to say something else during that time to break the tension - that would have ruined the moment.