This site provides many avenues of self-improvement, all of them important. There are some aspects in which I have been improving by leaps & bounds, and others that I have no idea how to improve on yet, but I maintain that I cannot do everything at once without suffering from burnout (which I already HAVE done a couple of times already!
) So I just figure I will get to them when the time is right.
Of those aspects that I have not yet even touched, trusting my gut is one of the most important. It (like almost everything on this forum) has wide application outside the area of women. As someone who has had many experiences with synchronicity, I know how important "trusting your gut" is, since this is the most effective (in fact, probably the ONLY) way to experience it, and this can lead you to your dreams (or even beyond your wildest ones) through the most unlikely paths.
Anyway, I think that by "letting go" (i.e. by NOT working on it, or "Do, or do not; there is no try), I may have stumbled upon it.
Kidd!! once said that women have "mean poker faces", and this has been my experience as well. Anyway, I have been in "observation mode" for a few months now. Every once in a while, I like to sit in public areas and alternate between 1) observing people (not just hot women, but ALL women and ALL men, as well as children), 2) clearing my mind by focusing on an object (a poster, sign, plant, anything) without thinking for 30 seconds to a minute (I NEVER imagined that it could be possible to be "without thought" even for a few seconds, but there you go!), and 3) reading.
Well, every now and again, regardless of what I am doing, I will turn my head in a particular direction, and end up face-to-face with a woman (usually hot, but not always) who has clearly been ogling the FUCK out of me. Usually, they will go from the face I caught them in (it can vary from curious to downright LUSTY, regardless of whether she is with a man or not, and in every case, HE DOES NOT HAVE A CLUE WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
), to a deer-in-headlights face, and then will look away quickly. At that point the look is sometimes embarrassed, sometimes pissed, but USUALLY the face will go blank at this point. Too late. Busted, bitch!
Also, in some places that I frequent, I am treated specially by the women, and some of the younger ones "play" with me (sneaking up on me, "chasing" me, fondling me, but not in the genital region - this is in public after all, etc.). In the last month or so, however, they have not been able to catch me off guard (for the most part; they still can if I am preoccupied); I will turn around and catch them whilst they are in the process of sneaking up on me, and I catch them red-handed. Some have actually told me that they "hate me" for doing so (don't they realise that I know that hate is the most potent form of woman's love?
- I guess not; most guys don't know this, so they probably think I don't as well..... Although they tell me this and give me the cold shoulder afterwards, it doesn't stop them from eventually resuming the "playing" at some later point).
I recently realised that I was doing all this this subconsciously. There is NO conscious thought that I can detect. I only know I am doing it AFTER THE EPISODE IS OVER. I figure -
THIS IS GUT.
To illustrate how they could NEVER be caught (by me at least) using conscious thought, here is Exhibit B:
I was in line at a fast-food joint recently, and a cute-looking blond girl was in front of me. She was a little young, probably about 13 or 14 years old (so she doesn't have the experience of a 20- or 30-something). While waiting, I turned 90 degrees to my left to look at a painting on the wall (to clear my head in the manner described above - I do this periodically now). After clearing my head, I realised (without moving or turning) through my peripheral vision, that she had turned 180 degrees around so that she was staring at my profile, and was staring at me intently (SPACE, anyone?). Although she was not in my focused view, I know she was facing me because I could make out the line of the cable connecting her earphone to her iPod. So I stayed where I was, and slowly & silently prepared my body, getting ready to pivot on one foot. All the while she was still staring at me intently. Once I was ready, I swung around sharply (but not in a way as to arouse suspicion in anyone else in there), and saw......
.......the back of her goddamned head.
The only thing to indicate that I was not imagining the whole episode was the fact that her hair was swinging, due to her having had to turn around quickly (next time, go out bald-headed, bitch!!)
Just wanted to share that with you guys.