If you stand by your message and not denounce it while you are literally being nailed to a fucking cross, that's "indifference" to the approval of others and your own safety/security on a very high level.
Yep.
As for why you are here and the seeming ambiguity around it -- you'll find that you're not really here for the girls. Go to one of those stupid boot camps if that's ALL it was you really wanted but this is about them representing a place where you are not free to express yourself and feel powerful which if I may be so bold as to say that is what is more important to most men in the end.
Thats probably why. I guess I was still hurting when I came here.
The theory of why is just to cut yourself some slack -- unfortunately ah-hah realizations don't suddenly make you fully accepting of yourself
The bottom line is that external circumstances do not cure this feeling of self lack. They just keep you focused on something else and temporarily satisfy the desire. It involves looking and being directly with the parts of yourself that you find unacceptable or your weakness without an agenda, which is not comfortable territory all the time to say the least. It's not something you wipe out with some affirmations or just writing down over and over that you're the man (no offense meant, these tools have their place).
I'm only human. Like being more introvert at times, no need to change.
I see so why do you think you messed up this relationship?
I kinda flipped the scrip. Revealed more insecurities. I pushed her away I think.
Why do you want to be better with girls and have good relationships in general?
You don't have to answer me but these are definitely questions you really ought to introspect on yourself, for what purpose will this serve?
I want to add to people and their lives. I want to build people up. I like acceptance from people and girls. I like feeling validated. I want to get married someday and have kids and be a good father. I want to be a better talker and maybe even a speaker. I want to be better with words too. I want to be able to communicate better. To share my beliefs. Be able to witness to anybody, family, friends, and even a stranger. I'm not advocating forcing people to believe thats not possible. Being better with people would also make me feel better. I'd like to have conversations with my family and friends that would be hard for me.
Its interesting you chose to put a relationship before you put becoming a more solid person
Indeed. I think that is me wanting to be validated by others.
Yeah people are always trying to shape us the direction they want to see. Its not objective though its based on their own fears and insecurities usually. You are like an artist, create and shape your work so that it reflects the needs of the audience. They can judge your work
But they cannot judge you
. Who you are is seperate from what you do or create.
And you dont measure your self worth on how you are recieved.
I have an attachment between what I do or create and my self worth. Even who I am probably to a large degree.