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 Post subject: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 2:15 pm 
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So.. I've been waiting, collecting evidence etc to start this topic.. About 3 weeks or so. I will highlight important things..

There's a gal I've known actually for some time, almost half a year, we've got mutual friends. I've seen her often, but we've never had a conversation or anything together, most of the time she just sits, looks on the table or floor and sometimes says something.

At one point at time, month ago or so, I got to know a new guy, we were searching for a job together etc, spent time in pubs etc, great guy - Thing is he liked the gal I'm talking about too. we've started going out 3 or more, regurarly, sometimes daily :D
I didn't know I like the gal, yet.. It took me two weeks to find out she's basically what I like, probably the closest to what I imagine, so far :D

She's problematic, not regular gal.. I'm trying not to put her on pedestal, the line is thin.. She told me she has problems really telling her emotions to someone, especially romantic feelings. You can't even imagine how good she is at pretending emotional calmness - She has blank neutral face, but the fire of unending rage burns in her :lol: And seems only few people can see it, me included... Sometimes she can't control it tho, she's very vulnerable about some things (One of her boyfriends got stabbed and died..)

what concerns me, is basically lack of time we can spend together just two of us. It's been daily 3 of us or more, and not rarely we go home at night. Once we were alone for hour an half and she told me about herself shit I was sometimes shocked by.

The following may be the point, where some of you finally realise, how insecure girls can be.
You see this gal has interesting friends at Prague. She didn't really surprised me by surpassing my knowledge about czech underground. She told me she was once offered some arab huge amount of money for spending 14 days with him - She didn't lie, I was paying attention. Another thing is, she could work as something like hostess at rich men parties.. Not prostitute, just something better than dancing at club.. She was pretty lucky (or they saw something in her), because this job got girls who danced for years, mostly..
Now the point - I'm not going to tell you directly what her problem has been, but it's related to not liking her body at all..
Now think guys - Girl who's been offered money by some fucking rich arab and a job like that, not liking her body to the point of basically hurting herself - How insecure is that ?!

She's off to Prague since today, for a week or so, so much needed space has been provided.. Thing is what to do, when she comes back.. I'd like to somehow get her out just two of us, but I hope it will be possible with the guy taking us out almost everyday.
I'm almost sure this gal likes me. She said things about which I felt instantly "She's trying to tell me she likes me subtly" and I could see it in her eyes in some moments.. But she's insecure and told me she can't tell if somebody likes her, even with her strong reading of people's feelings (You can't even imagine how ridiculously she's good at it)

So I have to take action.. I've been used to gals taking the first step lately, so it's not easy, especially in this kind of situation :D

Advice, thoughts, everything welcomed...


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 8:50 pm 
start talking to bitches outside your social circle so you know what to do with the ones in it


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Tue Feb 21, 2012 10:16 pm 
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The first thing that I thought of when I read your post was this quote:

Just think of the trees: they let the birds perch and fly, with no intention to call them when they come and no longing for their return when they fly away. If people's hearts can be like the trees, they will not be off the Way.


http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... 843#p11843

From what I read, some space to let her trust herself to let it out with you will help.
She is already starting down that path, let her follow it. She is already opening up, more than you probably realise, for her, where she is.

Have patience and leave the door open for her.

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Sun Feb 26, 2012 8:23 pm 
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peregrinus wrote:
The first thing that I thought of when I read your post was this quote:

Just think of the trees: they let the birds perch and fly, with no intention to call them when they come and no longing for their return when they fly away. If people's hearts can be like the trees, they will not be off the Way.


http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... 843#p11843

From what I read, some space to let her trust herself to let it out with you will help.
She is already starting down that path, let her follow it. She is already opening up, more than you probably realise, for her, where she is.

Have patience and leave the door open for her.
Thank you, that has been very insightful.

The problem is now, that I can't tell nor feel when to act, make step forward..
I know a guy who did good with this gal, but he went on too fast and he didn't see her again :geek:


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:22 pm 
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fufe wrote:
The problem is now, that I can't tell nor feel when to act, make step forward..
I know a guy who did good with this gal, but he went on too fast and he didn't see her again :geek:
Reading this......

Why make a step forward?

He obviously did not do good, from what you say, he did not see her again, how is that good?

Let her step forward into the space.

Are you too impatient for results?

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:23 pm 
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peregrinus wrote:
fufe wrote:
The problem is now, that I can't tell nor feel when to act, make step forward..
I know a guy who did good with this gal, but he went on too fast and he didn't see her again :geek:
Reading this......

Why make a step forward?

He obviously did not do good, from what you say, he did not see her again, how is that good?

Let her step forward into the space.

Are you too impatient for results?
Bacause I often see that females get to the point, when the guy is not doing anything, and then they become disinterested..


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 3:27 pm 
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fufe wrote:
Bacause I often see that females get to the point, when the guy is not doing anything, and then they become disinterested..
Are they her?

Is she them?

Is she exhibiting this behaviour with you? For some reason I think not.

_________________
In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 4:10 pm 
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peregrinus wrote:
fufe wrote:
Bacause I often see that females get to the point, when the guy is not doing anything, and then they become disinterested..
Are they her?

Is she them?

Is she exhibiting this behaviour with you? For some reason I think not.
I don't know Peregrinus.. I can't tell for sure


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:58 pm 
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Investigation time. 8-)

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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:01 pm 
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The Kidd!! wrote:
Investigation time. 8-)
I'm doing this every fucking day. One day yes, another day no, repeat.


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:23 am 
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Last few days are weird. It's as if I'd forgotten everything I've ever learned in my life as far as connecting with people goes. I can't hold on conversation, my mind is absolutely blank.. If the person is not talking (some talk hours by themselves, that's good for me) I don't really know what to talk about. And I think I don't know how to handle situations with girls either.

As if I'd forgot my whole experiences so far, what the fuck ?

About the girl I started the thread about... I don't really think she cares.. No signs of interest, tells me things like I take everything too personally etc.. I think she actually may stop seeing me in time. I guess I fucked it up, or I don't know. I never get what gets fucked.


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:27 am 
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fufe wrote:
Last few days are weird. It's as if I'd forgotten everything I've ever learned in my life as far as connecting with people goes. I can't hold on conversation, my mind is absolutely blank.. If the person is not talking (some talk hours by themselves, that's good for me) I don't really know what to talk about. And I think I don't know how to handle situations with girls either.

As if I'd forgot my whole experiences so far, what the fuck ?
could it be that maybe you are trying too hard?
you can't really 'forget' what you have learned....

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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 1:45 am 
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Definitely attempting to fill up all the damn space...probably succeeding too. Plus...way too invested in the outcome. You need to put yourself on timeout. :geek:

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:57 pm 
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The Kidd!! wrote:
Definitely attempting to fill up all the damn space...probably succeeding too. Plus...way too invested in the outcome. You need to put yourself on timeout. :geek:
Yeah

I'm absolutely clueless about what to do. It's hard for me not getting invested, when I meet girl I like like once a year. I don't feel anything for women I meet on the street, hardly ever otherwise


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Fri Mar 02, 2012 3:45 pm 
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fufe wrote:
So I have to take action....
This is exactly how men start their problems in this game.

Guys talk to themselves, way up the evidence, write an article, conduct a science test and finally come to the conclusion that they should do something about it, otherwise the chance will pass them by.

Ooooh, how women can smell the fear of loss...!

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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 12:03 pm 
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Scarf wrote:
fufe wrote:
So I have to take action....
This is exactly how men start their problems in this game.

Guys talk to themselves, way up the evidence, write an article, conduct a science test and finally come to the conclusion that they should do something about it, otherwise the chance will pass them by.

Ooooh, how women can smell the fear of loss...!
Yeah, I can understand that..

Thing is she told me about a guy she wanted - that everything was good, but he didn't do anything and nothing happened. Then he moved away, so she protected herself from getting hurt by tellin herself he's a friend from now on.

Does it change anything ? Or not


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 12:16 pm 
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fufe wrote:
Thing is she told me about a guy she wanted - that everything was good, but he didn't do anything and nothing happened. Then he moved away, so she protected herself from getting hurt by tellin herself he's a friend from now on
Sounds like a personal problem to me he probably didn't catch on or she wasn't being honest enough about it or was playing games. a lot of variables and circumstances could've taken place between those 2, if nothing happened then why is she so hurt there must've been more to that story or she wouldn't be acting that way.

Remember Fufe it takes 2 for things to progress so if she wasn't doing her part then of course nothing is going to happen.

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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 12:19 pm 
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Resonance wrote:
fufe wrote:
Thing is she told me about a guy she wanted - that everything was good, but he didn't do anything and nothing happened. Then he moved away, so she protected herself from getting hurt by tellin herself he's a friend from now on
Sounds like a personal problem to me he probably didn't catch on or she wasn't being honest enough about it or was playing games. a lot of variables and circumstances could've taken place between those 2, if nothing happened then why is she so hurt there must've been more to that story or she wouldn't be acting that way.

Remember Fufe it takes 2 for things to progress so if she wasn't doing her part then of course nothing is going to happen.
She told me she has problems telling honestly her feelings. Could be it


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 1:47 pm 
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fufe wrote:
She told me she has problems telling honestly her feelings. Could be it
Well then until she can get pass this, "hurt" is what she will always be. Dude are you sure she's worth that B.S. sounds like work and drama to me really introspect this before you proceed with this chick. She sounds self destructive and could bring you both down if you let her.

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo


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 Post subject: Re: Situation lately
PostPosted: Sat Mar 03, 2012 1:56 pm 
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Resonance wrote:
fufe wrote:
She told me she has problems telling honestly her feelings. Could be it
Well then until she can get pass this, "hurt" is what she will always be. Dude are you sure she's worth that B.S. sounds like work and drama to me really introspect this before you proceed with this chick. She sounds self destructive and could bring you both down if you let her.
Thing is I meet girls like this all my life, I believed it's normal, common.. I'm getting that it's not ?


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