Well it's 3 months that I'm studing and studing new ways of thinking and I've never put in practise beacuse of external factors. Now this external factors are gone so I'm ready to put myself in the arena again.
The main areas I'm working on are NG and the work on the ego (a new world tolle). It all make sense and it's really profound stuff but in the meantime I was not putting in practise with woman.
In the last few years I was so attached to role of PUA that for me leaving without sarging was like living without oxigen - it was a part of my identity. I was always ready to open a set even if I had big fear of rejection and fear of being judged.
So in this egoistic life I had fun and I was having some results..not so big but some. Something like
BIG BIG WORK-->some results.
In the last 3 months of reconditioning I went out in the night just a few times due to external factors. But in that times something strange happened. Well sometimes I was in State and very relaxed, it was like seeing the matrix...girls were looking at me but I had no desire to approach. Well one day a girl was so staring at me like crazy but I preferred to stay there relaxed.
Other times (the majority) I was not in state and very tired and sleepy.
Then I had some thinking going on in my mind: maybe I don't have to use the "go out and sarge" mindset otherwise I'm gonna ruin everything, but I'm not sure if this was almost an exuse just to chill and not taking any action. So in the last days I had an increasing desire to interact with woman and yesterday I was out in a pub. I had 2 short interaction with 2 girls one the opposite of the other.
The brunette girl is a pure social alpha, very hot, and in her face there is no sign of spontaneity. As soon I see her I have a feeling of inferioriority...bad sign!
I just ask her something and she responded acting like a real bitch! sorry guys, but she was so rude to me that I had a strong REACTION to her behaviour. My PUA ROLE kicked in and I start negging her by try to make her feel guilty and it was actually working well... but then I stopped because this was not about giving love but rather a way to increase my sense of self by putting her down.
And this is one of my question: should I put her down if she act like pure ego?
The other girl was even more social in the exterior look, very very hot like a model, blond hair, short skirt, beautifull legs, my friens were almost not breathing. But as soon as I see her face I instantly understand that she is very natural in the inside. So I go there just talking randomly and I recieve the best welcome ever! She is so friendly and start using some funny lines on me!
She: you're my new brother!
Me: oh yea come here give me a hug!
This one is a line of Mehow, one of the biggest pua and I was almost using it in every single interaction in the past, so it was so surprising to hear her using my stuff!:) She was doing almost everything that my pua role was supposed to do in the past.
She: we can meet tomorrow and we are gonna surf on the lake!
Me: oh cool but I can't surf!
She: oh weel you can learn tonight so tomorrow you will be able to surf:)
This one is a "role playing or future projection" in pua terms and I was using this stuff everytime with girls.. but now she was doing this to me! so funny thing! I'm so amused..
And this was like 2 minutes of conversation, then we changed location so I interrupted my talk with this beautifull girl.
My purpose now is to put myself in social situation more just to experience this new learnings.. and of course I'm gonna focus on natural woman first or at least the nearest thing possible, because I'm not yet ready to interact with pure social girls. And of course I'm gonna try to talk just fluff talk (no big deal) with everygirl that is gonna give me eye contact. That is my intention and please stress me if I don't do that!