Gonzo (slightly edited) wrote: |
However when it comes to sex I somehow have this bad feeling attached to it... A real black, jealous feeling.
But this feeling is still there, deep deep inside of me.
I feel it when I talk about sex with friends for example. Yesterday me and a friend were talking with a girl about losing your virginity and I felt it.
I most of all feel it when another guy gets a girl that I really liked. I know, I know... I shouldn't consider girls to be my possession, that is probably part of the problem.
As soon as you mentioned jealousy above, I thought about possession.
It may be worth thinking about this:
How would you react if people treated you like a possession?
Would you like it?
Would you enjoy it?
How would it feel?
Why do you see others as possessions?
Do you feel in control or out of control?
Gonzo (slightly edited) wrote: |
But the feeling is stil there and I want to get rid of it, or at least make peace with it.
It will be there until you do make peace with it... see what Alchemist has said above, also what I have put at the end.
I will post exactly what I wrote in this brainstorm session. I dug as deep as I could so it might be confrontational. It is also pretty personal to post on a public forum, but discussing it might help me and possibly some other people. So I decided to post it anyway.
Good for you.. I am sure you have read personal posts of others also on here.
Sometimes it is hard to get beneath the surface unless you show what is there.
Why do I get this bad feeling when it comes to sex? Or more specifically: missing out on sex?
I am not good enough..... Something wrong with me
Incompetent...... Society/friends blaming me
Left out...... Loser, outsider
Feeling of loss
Blackness...... Alone, loneliness
Aggression
Jealousy
Sadness
Shame
Something stolen from me
There is a lot in the above, my gut tells me it is all related. There is something deeper and common to the above.
Why?
What do you feel was stolen from you? Why 'stolen'?
Girls losing their innocence
The girl doesn’t love me anymore, doesn’t appreciate me
Girl is being hurt, but she loves it. She shouldn’t love it, she should love me! I am being hurt.
She might get pregnant, is she crazy!
Nervousness, pressure, sick to my stomach.
The world is falling apart.
I am sure a lot of guys can relate to the above.
The contradictory messages in this section really fuck with guys heads.
If you keep running them round your head they will turn it to mush. However there are also some *assumptions* on your part.
A girl's biological reason for existing is to get pregnant and reproduce - how crazy is she now?
Why are they losing their innocence? Are you also losing yours?
She may be being hurt, her emotions are being aroused though.. Is it her emotions or the hurt which she likes?
--
Yeah Peregrinus advised to let the feeling happen and fully experience it, then it dissolves, I dunno about it disappearing completely but for me the worst part of it is gone.
Indeed I do.
Rather than trying to run away from it, avoid it, or fight it head on:
Let the feeling wash over you, like a wave.
It will feel overwhelming at times, however this will pass.
I am not saying it will be easy or quick, it may be, it may not be.
'What you resist persists' - 'Let it go'
[I have made posts about this, search for them]