I accept that most people misunderstand my actions as I'm pretty monotone and have like no facial expression. I use sarcasm a whole lot and almost nobody can tell
Unless you are 'naturally' like this, and I've never seen a 4 year old who is monotone, expressionless, and impossible to read, it might be worth exploring that the fear you are labeling the fear of confrontation, could also be in play as a
fear to express yourself, to be fully who you are for all to see.
This would also be connected to an increase of people trying to provoke stuff out of you -- see Peregrinus' 'irony' reference. Of course, as he also covered, fear to show yourself = fear of failure.
Therefore, and not surprisingly, it's not them you don't want to confront, it's you.
I'll add my 2 cents :
Peregrinus is spot on per usual
Now flow, I don't agree with the bold part ... what is natural behaviour ?
Do all your behaviour can be adequated to this of the 4 yo you were ?
I just pick on you (see that foofatron, even on this forum I can't help but be an asshole ?
)
Looking back, my 'fear to express myself' was '
fear of the consequences of me expressing myself fully" and 'fear of people seeing the REAL me', like there was something wrong with me and people would see it if I expressed myself honesty
(
THIS COULDN'T BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH, MIRROR)
Meaning fear of getting kicked out the house, fear of creating a 'bad environment', fear of breaking contact with family if it heats up ... Pfffffffft
NOW that I RIGHTEOUSLY act like I feel like ? NOTHING CHANGED (there always was some 'confrontation', except now I initiate it on them, not them on me), except getting more respect because I act like THE MAN I AM, not the lost child who's scared of everything and everyone around him.
It appears to me that 'your problems' can easily be resolved (aren't they all ...) :
I feel like confrontations just end in the other person denying it, making a stronger argument than me, or just overwhelming me with an emotional response.
For some reason this is what appeals to me NOW in arguments, see WHAT THE OTHER PERSON brings to the table (logical reasons, emotional 'sticks', ...) !
My friend
Really ? Someone who insults you, bring you down is YOUR friend ?
Damn my circle of friends just expanded dramatically
I'm really not that great at communicating
That's what I thought about me for a long time.
I can tell you that I found out I was wrong, I could/can talk / write endlessly about CERTAIN subjects, but (un?)fortunately for me not that many people in my entourage have common interests.
This could easily be changed though (doing things you love and meeting 'similar' people, creating something CONGRUENT with who you are and people will flock, ...), if YOU WANT IT bad enough.
I'm sick of being afraid that I'll get crushed in a verbal confrontation
Get better conversationally / confrontationnally (see
Patrice O'Neal as a master of it)
I hate when people get in my face I can't really step back and think logically, I let them make me feel inferior just cause they do that.
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt . -- George Eliot
I'm tired of being offended by childish arguments where people simply deny what your saying, attacking your intelligence, or any other forum of demeaning, that accomplishes nothing, but furthers anger
Bill Burr on how women argue (replace women with people)
Why do you think they act like that ?
That accomplishes something surely ... your anger maybe ?
I'm trying to discover why I avoid any confrontation of any size. I hate the discomfort. Fear, inferiority, all forms of public social punishment. And people that want to fight. I've been lifting for a while I'm sure I could defend myself if I had to, yet I'm afraid of people who are physically weaker than me, I don't get it...
It's not what you think it is. MIRROR.
Your discomfort is only there because you
WANT to say some things but
DON'T, HENCE THE 'IRONIC SENTENCE' OF GRINUS ...
Say what you feel like saying.
If you are not feeling like saying anything, do not say anything.
If you feel it, you will have something to say.
THE ONLY thing getting in your way is thinking about it, that stops something popping into your head as it is busy thinking about it. If it were free and unoccupied it would come up with plenty of things to say, all by itself.
Anyways, back to Girls Bravo ... (I'll post a review when I'm done
)