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How to deal with frustration?
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Author:  PimpDee [ Wed Mar 09, 2016 11:38 am ]
Post subject:  How to deal with frustration?

Hello pimps, I have a question for you about something that I did not realized before.
I was doing the first kidd exercise in pimposophy in short was this: do not talk to everyone who you didn`t know(excluding parents, friends) and see who comes to talk to you first.
Well I started to do this exercise when i get the flu, being in bed for a couple of days and I have been doing this exercise from close to 4 weeks. I realised that for long time I didnt have a call nor a message from friends, but the most shocking thing was: the messages i got from friends and/or acquaintaces where all messages of type "I ve a problem with my pc/my fb account...i did something/i broke something, can you help me?", like I am a consultant or something or even more pathetic: a friend asked to our common acquaintance about me "whats happened with me?" even if he has my fb, phone numbers, ect all the things to contact me directly...I could not believe that. (Did you ever have a friend who said to you "lets go to have a drink sometime, I am gonna call you when" and then no ever a call from him? LOL this kind of shit).
At first I was very sad, after I was angry and now I am still angry but now I feel more frustration.
This frustration, anger, whatever you call that, dont allow me to be focused on things I should care like my exams for University, ect...( i felt the same shit when I broke up with a girlfriend couple of years ago and I started to do a lot of things like gym, ect.. but it was for pain release than real interest).
A part from Leykis conseil " fuck you I am better that this", embrace being alone & burning bridges, what are your conseils?

Hoping in your answers,
PimpDee

Author:  peregrinus [ Wed Mar 09, 2016 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

Why are you frustrated?

How does it feel? what is behind it?

Author:  caster [ Wed Mar 09, 2016 3:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

On a practical level you dont have to burn bridges just keep things mutually beneficial. There are people in my life that have helped me and will help me again if I ask, so I keep in touch and will help them. The ones that want to take and not give, I cut out. Someone very wise once said everything is conditional.

Author:  Jared [ Wed Mar 09, 2016 4:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

caster wrote:
The ones that want to take and not give, I cut out.
The ones that want to take and not give will keep on coming
back until we have learnt the lesson they provide.

Best teachers of human nature are those who are the worst off.

Author:  The Kidd!! [ Wed Mar 09, 2016 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

I see the red pill hasn't lost its potency over the years. ;)

People are inherently self interested...it's just part of the human condition. The sooner you come to terms with it, the sooner you can make it work better for you, as the others have pointed out. :geek:

Never lose focus on what's important to YOU tho. Your exams are much more important that feeling some type of way over realizing how some people view you. Keep your chin up and your eyes OPEN. 8-)

Author:  PimpDee [ Wed Mar 09, 2016 9:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

peregrinus wrote:
Why are you frustrated?

How does it feel? what is behind it?
Thanks for the answer.
I try to explain it through an example, it's not easy:
It's like when you play a game that has rules you think to know them but in reality you didn't know (or understand) and when you stop to play, it's too late because you already tricked.
The feeling is the same when a girlfriend cheat on you and you didn't see that coming. You feel the anger at the beginning, because you feel tricked..and sad because it's your fault. Patrice O'Neal would say about frustration something like "what the fuck, I don't understand why I can't get the girls(or friends) I want".

So behind that I could say, taking the example of a game: anger is a fuel to replay a game better that before but the frustration is "not knowing/ not fully understand what are the rules behind that game".

I hope that I answered to you questions :)

Author:  fufe [ Wed Mar 09, 2016 9:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

PimpDee wrote:
Thanks for the answer.
I try to explain it through an example, it's not easy:
It's like when you play a game that has rules you think to know them but in reality you didn't know (or understand) and when you stop to play, it's too late because you already tricked.
The feeling is the same when a girlfriend cheat on you and you didn't see that coming. You feel the anger at the beginning, because you feel tricked..and sad because it's your fault. Patrice O'Neal would say about frustration something like "what the fuck, I don't understand why I can't get the girls(or friends) I want".

So behind that I could say, taking the example of a game: anger is a fuel to replay a game better that before but the frustration is "not knowing/ not fully understand what are the rules behind that game".

I hope that I answered to you questions :)
I'd say he meant more to help you understand your questions by asking you his questions.

What do you think is the trigger of the frustration ? What is the reason you get frustrated ? Really and clearly. It is neccesarry for you to see.

Author:  PimpDee [ Wed Mar 09, 2016 9:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

caster wrote:
On a practical level you dont have to burn bridges just keep things mutually beneficial. There are people in my life that have helped me and will help me again if I ask, so I keep in touch and will help them. The ones that want to take and not give, I cut out. Someone very wise once said everything is conditional.
Yes and no.
Let's say you met a girl, you flirt with her and she flirts back. Do you ever feel that the girl was interested in you but at the end, after she get the little little thing she wanted, disappear?
It happened to me also with "friends". Big smiles, big laughts, ect... nice attitude and then pooooo (like in this Leykis video https://youtu.be/3eBZ-HZ6yXY?t=33m30s).

In a game I can accept losing at it, but not knowing why you lose it's frustrating.

Author:  PimpDee [ Wed Mar 09, 2016 10:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

fufe wrote:
What do you think is the trigger of the frustration ? What is the reason you get frustrated ? Really and clearly. It is necessary for you to see.
Trigger: no phone calls or messages received by anybody (took me 4 weeks of KIDD's exercise to realize) except "IT-consultation message" as explained in the first post. Being manipulated when it comes to women.
Reason of frustration: not knowing why and not knowing in what way to change it.

I hope now I answered correctly to these question :lol:

Author:  Jared [ Wed Mar 09, 2016 11:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

PimpDee wrote:
Being manipulated when it comes to women.
Reason of frustration: not knowing why and not knowing in what way to change it.
Quote:
"Man's frustration can be tracked back in every case to
compromise with his original nature. He fails to obey himself."

----V.Howard

"Whatever cannot obey itself is commanded.
Such is the nature of living things."

----Nietzsche

Author:  caster [ Thu Mar 10, 2016 12:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

PimpDee wrote:
Yes and no.
Let's say you met a girl, you flirt with her and she flirts back. Do you ever feel that the girl was interested in you but at the end, after she get the little little thing she wanted, disappear?
It happened to me also with "friends". Big smiles, big laughts, ect... nice attitude and then pooooo (like in this Leykis video https://youtu.be/3eBZ-HZ6yXY?t=33m30s).

In a game I can accept losing at it, but not knowing why you lose it's frustrating.
It used to happen to me, girls wanting to study being flirty then when the class was over they would vanish. I wasn't "losing" time, energy and money, I was giving them away for free. So I stopped doing that and started valuing myself more. Get paid upfront or structure things so that your risk is minimized. People manipulate using leverage, if you are being manipulated by women where is their leverage from? Study for your test and when you have time follow the trail here.

Author:  peregrinus [ Thu Mar 10, 2016 10:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

PimpDee wrote:
I hope now I answered correctly to these question :lol:
If you honestly expressed yourself in the answer then you did.
If you did not, you did not.

Author:  PimpDee [ Thu Mar 10, 2016 4:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

Thanks for all the answers.
I do not want to put women on this topic because are the last problem right now, I stopped chasing them with the pleasing mentality of the nice guy I still have. Patience is the key, I know because I am in an enviroment (similar to Kidd`s korean experience, more men than women) where even the ugly broad value herself better than actually she is, we call here "tirarsela" («pullherself») or "fighe di legno" («pussies wood»).

I thought about all your answers.
I`m a nice guy and the pleasing mentality doesn`t payed me back the way I wanted with friends, ect. Building a network of friends, close friends.
The good part is that I do want something with the being alone, instead of complaining…

So here is my question: what is the plan of action when you are alone?
Sticking into the Kidd`s Pimposophy and focus 100% on building the the clout?!

Let me know,
Cheers from Italy.
PimpDee

Author:  fufe [ Thu Mar 10, 2016 6:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

PimpDee wrote:
Trigger: no phone calls or messages received by anybody (took me 4 weeks of KIDD's exercise to realize) except "IT-consultation message" as explained in the first post. Being manipulated when it comes to women.
Why did you get triggered by having no phone calls or messages ? What was the trigger there ? What was the thung that triggered the emotions is being displeased with being manipulated when it comes to women ?
Quote:
Reason of frustration: not knowing why and not knowing in what way to change it.
What was the reason you got trigged by not knowing what is going on and how to change it ? Despair ? Not being bale to control ? What was behing it.

Author:  Jared [ Thu Mar 10, 2016 7:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

PimpDee wrote:
The good part is that I do want something with the being alone, instead of complaining…

So here is my question: what is the plan of action when you are alone?
What a great opportunity to

l e a v e
y o u r s e l f
a l o n e

Author:  caster [ Thu Mar 10, 2016 10:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

You still have the friends you always had, nothing has changed but your understanding. There is nothing wrong with you contacting them first if it's something you actually want to do. Like maybe to help you study if you are in school, it's all fine as long as you understand why they are helping you. It isn't because they are nice, it's because they expect something in return. As long as what they want is worth with what they give to you, what's the problem?

One of the points of the exercise, in my opinion, is to show you that people mostly care about what you can do for them. A book which might be interesting to you is one called "No more Mr. Nice guy". In this book the author writes that nice guys are frustrated because they expect the currency of being nice to buy what they want. The problem with that is that the world doesn't give a fuck about what you want or how you behave (as long as it isn't too outrageous), the world only cares what you are and what you can do. So the nice guys dont get paid for being nice (fake) and feel robbed and frustrated. Maybe this is how you feel maybe not.

I wanted to be more clear with this because English isn't your first language (it is still very good) and so I think there is a little misunderstanding.

Author:  PimpDee [ Fri Mar 11, 2016 2:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

caster wrote:
You still have the friends you always had, nothing has changed but your understanding. There is nothing wrong with you contacting them first if it's something you actually want to do. Like maybe to help you study if you are in school, it's all fine as long as you understand why they are helping you. It isn't because they are nice, it's because they expect something in return. As long as what they want is worth with what they give to you, what's the problem?

One of the points of the exercise, in my opinion, is to show you that people mostly care about what you can do for them. A book which might be interesting to you is one called "No more Mr. Nice guy". In this book the author writes that nice guys are frustrated because they expect the currency of being nice to buy what they want. The problem with that is that the world doesn't give a fuck about what you want or how you behave (as long as it isn't too outrageous), the world only cares what you are and what you can do. So the nice guys dont get paid for being nice (fake) and feel robbed and frustrated. Maybe this is how you feel maybe not.

I wanted to be more clear with this because English isn't your first language (it is still very good) and so I think there is a little misunderstanding.
Thanks again for your answers guys, I will follow your conseil caster. I already red that book but for what I remember it wasn`t so interesting, but I ll check it again.
Yeah aint easy to explain in English, especially mixing general with particular and viceversa.

Right now the frustration has gone, maybe because I start to accept it this "red pill".

Someone explained it before as the frustration is a result to compromise to his own laws, as a failure to obey to himself. Deep down, I have reflect on these words and they are absolutely true.
I remember the episode with my mother talking about a friend of mine who we used to go to the gym together (PT, popular with girls, tattoed looking like a bad boy, older tha me) in particular about changing the gym because it wasnt a good environment, about what time train togheter and other shit, she sayied «you are his dog»…at that time I didnt listen «it is all BS», because i got in shape, flattered by that…guess what? when it comes to money, he tried to convince me to stay to that enviroment that he criticized because it is now good (at his terms because he will not pay the monthly subscriptions because he put 5-6 clients in that gym to coach, and get clean money per coaching) LOL.

Correct me if I am wrong but for what I understand fighting the emotions (or escaping), whatever they are, is useless.

At the end all boils down to cope with being alone and what to do with the free time to be the person the world needs.

Author:  TheDude [ Fri Mar 11, 2016 4:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

peregrinus wrote:
Why are you frustrated?

How does it feel? what is behind it?
+1

It's part of the journey. Continue reading the posts within this forum. Hopefully you'll find that a lot of your questions answer themselves as you keep reading.

Someone said here...it's not the answers we seek, but the questions.

Author:  fufe [ Fri Mar 11, 2016 5:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

The point is, that when you see the exact reason why are you frustrated, it tends to dissolve itself.

Author:  Aragorn [ Fri Mar 11, 2016 8:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: How to deal with frustration?

Quote:
At the end all boils down to cope with being alone and what to do with the free time to be the person the world needs.
Yep. Not cope though, but thrive.

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