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Being cool with being alone http://naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=4369 |
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Author: | Aragorn [ Thu Jan 28, 2016 10:09 am ] |
Post subject: | Being cool with being alone |
With this being all about layers on layers, there are a number of times where I think I've come to a final conclusion or stage of self-development, which is never the case. Recently, I've met a girl that I had a real connection with. Got a bit attached and used the situation to observe whatever feelings were going on. The main thing was a sudden feeling of things not being good if she left. I was alright being by myself, doing my thing, and all of a sudden I wouldn't be if it went back to that? I had a feeling like I found something new that I couldn't let go or fathom leaving behind. It was all a feeling of not being alright with being alone. Mixed with a bit of need for external validation of my self-development, which has been a sticking point that I've just recently become aware of. So for anything to go naturally and well while maintaining your sense of well-being throughout an ever-changing process of connecting with people, you have to be alright with it disappearing all of a sudden and knowing that coming back to yourself is all good. |
Author: | peregrinus [ Thu Jan 28, 2016 4:00 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone |
you are describing attachment (or investment) Then Letting it go unattachment |
Author: | Aragorn [ Fri Jan 29, 2016 12:13 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone |
Yep. Just wanted to look at the motivations behind it. But thanks for posting that, because letting go is an internal action that you have to take (the "letting go"), and that needed reminding. |
Author: | The Kidd!! [ Fri Jan 29, 2016 1:19 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone |
Focus more on the journey and less on the destination. That way if you never arrive, you are perfectly fine either way. Investment leads to attachment. If you never invest in a particular outcome or 'destination', then while you may not have gained anything at the end of the day, you haven't lost anything either. |
Author: | Jared [ Fri Jan 29, 2016 2:02 am ] | |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone | |
Spiritually speaking, all relationships serve one purpose: self-knowledge.
G.Finley
Self-knowledge serves one purpose: awakening to the truth of one's self. Awakening to the truth of oneself serves one purpose: dying to oneself. Dying to oneself serves one purpose: rebirth. And rebirth is... the purpose and fulfillment of all relationships. |
Author: | Aragorn [ Fri Jan 29, 2016 12:12 pm ] | |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone | |
Focus more on the journey and less on the destination. That way if you never arrive, you are perfectly fine either way.
Thanks for this Kidd. And yeah definitely, I thought investing would lead me to be able to own something, which is a huge misinterpretation of how these things should work and what kind of place I should be coming from. Investment leads to attachment. If you never invest in a particular outcome or 'destination', then while you may not have gained anything at the end of the day, you haven't lost anything either. Mixed up enjoyment and investment too. Jared that quote was beautiful and resonated within me. Thanks. |
Author: | peregrinus [ Fri Jan 29, 2016 1:54 pm ] | |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone | |
I thought investing would lead me to be able to own something, which is a huge misinterpretation of how these things should work and what kind of place I should be coming from.
Oh myOh my I am not even going to touch this one and we both know why |
Author: | Aragorn [ Fri Jan 29, 2016 2:26 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone |
Yeaaah, we do. I was blind to it, becausd this type of thinking definitely was not my MO when I started hanging out with this girl. Simǐar to past experiences...less intense, but still there. Gotta chisel away some more marble. I needed to see this stuff in me to move forward. Thanks for highlighting it and emphasizing just how warped my thinking was |
Author: | eldora [ Fri Jan 29, 2016 8:18 pm ] | |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone | |
Recently, I've met a girl that I had a real connection with. Got a bit attached and used the situation to observe whatever feelings were going on.
There were actually many "I"'s here in Play. You need to pay attention and observer that different parts of You show up based on a Stimulus/Response fashion, the You who got Attached initially is not the same "You" who decided to Observe, also different of that part of you who felt Alone. So see each part of you and Recognize it as such. It is not your Sticking point the thing you need to be aware, that ultimately leads to more self Invalidation, you basically are invalidating your inner selfs. You are not one You but many fragmented "I"'s. Observe them and Acknowledge them first. Just by letting go you are not doing much, you are just pushing them back to your subconscious, they will come back sooner or later in your life.
The main thing was a sudden feeling of things not being good if she left. I was alright being by myself, doing my thing, and all of a sudden I wouldn't be if it went back to that? I had a feeling like I found something new that I couldn't let go or fathom leaving behind. It was all a feeling of not being alright with being alone. Mixed with a bit of need for external validation of my self-development, which has been a sticking point that I've just recently become aware of. So for anything to go naturally and well while maintaining your sense of well-being throughout an ever-changing process of connecting with people, you have to be alright with it disappearing all of a sudden and knowing that coming back to yourself is all good. |
Author: | TheDude [ Sat Jan 30, 2016 12:51 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone |
While reading your post, I thought of something I read on the forum today; viewtopic.php?f=19&t=2083. Maybe it's of value to you. |
Author: | Jared [ Sat Jan 30, 2016 7:21 pm ] | |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone | |
There were actually many "I"'s here in Play. You need to pay attention and observer that different parts of You show up based on a Stimulus/Response fashion, the You who got Attached initially is not the same "You" who decided to Observe, also different of that part of you who felt Alone.
Thinking and feeling occur unasked. So what?
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Author: | eldora [ Sun Jan 31, 2016 10:04 pm ] | |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone | |
Thinking and feeling occur unasked. So what?
Awareness. If you are not aware of IT you are just Being IT. If you are just Being IT you are at a Effect just like anybody else inside the "Matrix".
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Author: | Jared [ Sun Jan 31, 2016 10:19 pm ] | |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone | |
"Thinking proceeds from lack."
Thought.....thought....thought....thought...."thinker".....thought.....thought.....thought...."thinker"....thought.... There is no separate "thinker" When the need is in the mind, you can never satisfy it. |
Author: | fufe [ Mon Feb 01, 2016 5:09 pm ] |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone |
Eldora, have you found the real self ? |
Author: | Aragorn [ Mon Feb 01, 2016 6:08 pm ] | |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone | |
While reading your post, I thought of something I read on the forum today; viewtopic.php?f=19&t=2083.
Thanks for this bliss, was nice to read that with everything I've been going through internally. Maybe it's of value to you. As for all this other stuff, it's waaaay too much theory for me. Thinking about all that stuff oftentimes seems to get in the way of observing myself/my surroundings and focusing on the present moment with as much intensity as I can. E.g: I rap and have my first show and album coming up. Now I could either think about why I rap, which I is the one that wants to rap and which I is the one that is looking for validation and attention through it, whether I'll be able to handle any fame (or lack of) that might come though it, and whether it's all just a way to appease my musical parents...or I can just rap, practice with as much sincerity and honest effort and love as I can, write with as much focus and inention as I can, etc. etc. Basically, being paralyzed by perfectionism. Funnily enough, I thought of it when I was biting my nails during exam week - I see imperfections and try to get rid of them restlessly, damaging myself in the process. Why not just do me, which is such a different thing from thinking about how to be me. |
Author: | Jared [ Mon Feb 01, 2016 6:24 pm ] | |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone | |
musical parents...
runs in my family too. 2 out of 4 kids have it. |
Author: | eldora [ Mon Feb 01, 2016 8:51 pm ] | |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone | |
Eldora, have you found the real self ?
, if you come to the realization of an answer to that question for yourself , you just got yourself one step out of the Matrix !. And I am using "Matrix" just because in the forum is a very popular term.
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Author: | Jared [ Mon Feb 01, 2016 8:59 pm ] | |||
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone | |||
Eldora, have you found the real self ?
, if you come to the realization of an answer to that question for yourself , you just got yourself one step out of the Matrix !. And I am using "Matrix" just because in the forum is a very popular term.
Acceptance – Now a powerful shift happens, and you awaken to the possibilities of living proactively. At the level of willingness you’ve become competent, and now you want to put your abilities to good use. ...
....it basically means that you begin accepting responsibility for your role in the world. If something isn’t right about your life (your career, your health, your relationship), you define your desired outcome and change it. You start to see the big picture of your life more clearly. |
Author: | eldora [ Tue Feb 02, 2016 5:10 am ] |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone |
I invite you to go beyond to what is currently being teached on the Net, and that includes the advaita, non-duality, Budhism,etc. Sure increases your awareness but in the End they don't give much Leverage, No Power. You Need Awareness and Power to become a Player. There are some tidbits of Valuable Information here and there on the Net but you need to put everything together and start applying that Knowledge. |
Author: | Coconut [ Wed Feb 03, 2016 2:43 pm ] | |
Post subject: | Re: Being cool with being alone | |
Power
And that is?
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