Natural Freedom :: Resolving some of the issues holding me back

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Resolving some of the issues holding me back http://naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=4041	Page 1 of 1

Author:	Aragorn [ Tue Sep 02, 2014 2:04 pm ]
Post subject:	Resolving some of the issues holding me back
Hi guys, I've had some time to digest some things, as well as start taking a different direction in my life (i.e. my internal mindset is starting to manifest externally). I've come accross some of the limiting beliefs that have been holding me back, and I wanted to share what I've learned by observing and accepting them. 1.) "I don't belong" This one came on quite strong on a business trip in a foreign country I just had. The mindset of a completely different culture, packed streets envoked the me vs. them mindset. I often got lost and felt a fear inside when asking for directions, not wanting to look stupid or different. Going into why I've had this mindset is not needed, I think I have explained that (and been infatuated with dealing with the story) for a while. I understand, however, that this mindset was something I was as needed at the time, and that operating with this state of mind is something I have been doing for almost my entire life. So some residual effects whenever situations come up are to be expected, and all I can do is deal (i.e. observe, not try to banish) with them when they arise. However, this is not a state of mind that is true or serves me whatsoever in the present. And that's something I know now. 2.) "I am not supposed to be like this", "I need to be perfect" Daily, I have had situations arise where I felt different from a state of mind or way of acting that I thought I needed to be exhibiting. Anger when I felt I "wasn't supposed to" feel it. Lust when I should "be unattached". The result of this was this deep and strong inner conflict that led to fatigue and subtle anger in my day-to-day life. One example that led to me pondering this further was my OCD when talking with a girl - every single statement I said, I wondered if it was well-timed/showed enough indifference/if I spoke with the right tone of voice/made her laugh enough/and a whole lot more. There is no perfect way of acting and all people are flawed. Accepting that I do, in fact, have flaws (and that that means I am no different from anybody) was huge. I will never be perfect, and all that I can do is accept that and do my best to listen and give space to myself. I am a human being, and so is everyone else I meet. Funnily enough, that gives me more energy and motivation to improve on the things I want to and feel I lack. 3.) "I can't get blindsided again" This manifested itself in the form of constant worry and anxiety. And I mean constant. Never a moment of peace in my mind. It came from a childhood of a shitload of unpleasant surprises and situations that I was not prepared for at the time. I wanted to anticipate what was going to happen and make the right moves to protect myself. Part of this is why I am quick witted and creative, but the downside is constant paranoia and worry. My brain was working overtime, and I couldn't get it to ever calm down (even had problems falling and staying asleep, oftentimes waking up in the middle of the night like somebody broke into my room). The unexpected will always happen though. There is no real way to see the future. The only thing I can do is stay present in the moment and see things for what they truly are, in that way reacting as appropriately as possible to the stimuli I KNOW and not the things I FEAR. It's like a huge weight dropped off my shoulders. Anyway, that's it. Thought I'd share. As a sidenote, all these realiziations came after hour long walks while allowing the emotions to come forward and accepting them for what they are. It's funny, I feel the feeling of lack regarding some external things stemmed from a feeling of lack within. By the way, I recorded a rap song with my friend (it was a quick freestyle in preparation for my upcoming album). If you guys want a listen, let me know and I'll PM you the link. I'd love to hear your thoughs.

Author:

Meraki [ Tue Sep 02, 2014 7:59 pm ]

Post subject:

Re: Resolving some of the issues holding me back

I like this.

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Quote:

There is no perfect way of acting and all people are flawed. Accepting that I do, in fact, have flaws (and that that means I am no different from anybody) was huge. I will never be perfect, and all that I can do is accept that and do my best to listen and give space to myself. I am a human being, and so is everyone else I meet.

You are perfect in your imperfection.