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Unconditional love and being the best you can be
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Author:  Aragorn [ Sat Aug 31, 2013 6:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Unconditional love and being the best you can be
Hi guys,

Have a couple of questions that I've been asking myself and can't seem to get the answer from.

Disregarding the issues that have to be faced, confronted, and accepted for now:

-Kidd, you said that you become dependent on yourself for emotional support. Does that mean that self-love is not unconditional? That, in an imaginary scenario where you give in to temptations of slacking off at work, not working out, eating shitty food - does your sense of value fall in your own eyes? Is it really about improving yourself SO you can approve of yourself (being the best you can be in all facets)? Is your sense of self influenced by what you do, rather than what you are? I hope you understand what I'm getting at, because I'm having trouble putting it down into words.

To bring things into perspective - I want to have financial flexibility and a partly passive income and want to be an employer, not an employee. I want to get into the best shape of my life Obviously, I'm working on the mental and spiritual aspects of it all. I will need to grind to make these things happen, however. And I'm basically questioning whether it's worth dropping the comfort. If my lazyness is keeping me in a sedated sense of self-hate.

Do these things need to be done so I can feel good about myself? I've read about dudes who are broke and just feel great about themselves. Do you guys think this is some sort of nagging sense of "I can be better than this"

Is my self-love reliant on being something I think I can become (or knowing I'm working towards that) and not based on self-acceptance in this moment? Are those two seperate things?

Shit, re-reading this it's confusing. I really, really hope some of you can understand and lend me some insight.

Moose
Author:  Flow83 [ Sat Aug 31, 2013 7:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Unconditional love and being the best you can be
moose35 wrote:
Disregarding the issues that have to be faced, confronted, and accepted for now:
This is impossible because the answer to your questions is inside the very heart of these issues. You cannot take an outside idea and impose it upon them to decide what they mean, what the source is, and what the resolution is (not relief, resolution) for YOU

You are also asking as though there is a universal answer to all people.

YOU may have to get your shit together getting in shape wise and financially in order to move forward. Is it hypothetically possible to accept yourself fully, to love yourself at broke 300lbs etc blah blah blah all that matters is YOU.

You are separating external and internal work like they are mutually exclusive.

Taking on these 'external' ambitions may be the path by which YOU will be forced to confront the 'internal' issues that hold YOU back from realizing them. This is sometimes called a calling.

Inner work can be used for avoidance, and ambitions can be used to hide yourself from your issues. It is case by case and requires very honestly asking yourself. Not every guy developing ripped muscles is vain and over compensating, not every guy who lives ultra-minimally is denying a drive for success.

Notice whatever you project onto other people of different ilk and you will see your own issues clear as day.

In your gut you KNOW which you are doing, if you get past your own ego enough to be willing to hear and deal with what the real answer is.
Author:  GoldenBoy [ Sat Aug 31, 2013 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Unconditional love and being the best you can be
God created the world in 7 days, Flow answered THE question in 32 minutes tops. Take that Mr G.O.D :ugeek:
Author:  Aragorn [ Sat Aug 31, 2013 7:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Unconditional love and being the best you can be
Flow83 wrote:
moose35 wrote:
Disregarding the issues that have to be faced, confronted, and accepted for now:
This is impossible because the answer to your questions is inside the very heart of these issues. You cannot take an outside idea and impose it upon them to decide what they mean, what the source is, and what the resolution is (not relief, resolution) for YOU

You are also asking as though there is a universal answer to all people.

YOU may have to get your shit together getting in shape wise and financially in order to move forward. Is it hypothetically possible to accept yourself fully, to love yourself at broke 300lbs etc blah blah blah all that matters is YOU.

You are separating external and internal work like they are mutually exclusive.

Taking on these 'external' ambitions may be the path by which YOU will be forced to confront the 'internal' issues that hold YOU back from realizing them. This is sometimes called a calling.

Inner work can be used for avoidance, and ambitions can be used to hide yourself from your issues. It is case by case and requires very honestly asking yourself. Not every guy developing ripped muscles is vain and over compensating, not every guy who lives ultra-minimally is denying a drive for success.

Notice whatever you project onto other people of different ilk and you will see your own issues clear as day.

In your gut you KNOW which you are doing, if you get past your own ego enough to be willing to hear and deal with what the real answer is.
Thanks, Flow. Bolded part is already bringing up some things. Whole post was what I needed to hear though.

Basically, my question was "What do I need to do to love myself?". Maybe even hopeful that Kidd would say he wouldn't like himself if he wasn't achieving? Yeah, I was.

Thanks again.
Author:  Altair [ Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Unconditional love and being the best you can be
I dislike myself if I'm slacking and not taking care of my shit.

If I was 22 broke with no car living with mom I wouldn't be comfortable with myself. Like Flow said they connect. :ugeek:
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Mon Sep 02, 2013 7:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Unconditional love and being the best you can be
Wow Flow...just WOW. :D
Author:  Jared [ Fri Sep 27, 2013 8:04 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Unconditional love and being the best you can be
moose35 wrote:
And I'm basically questioning whether it's worth dropping the comfort. If my lazyness is keeping me in a sedated sense of self-hate.
I refer to Newton´s 3rd Law of Motion;

"For every action, there is an equal and
opposite reaction."

You don´t have any comfort, just like no one
else has comfort, until they pay for both sides
of the equation. If you try to pay for one side
only (comfort) you are merely paying for the
illusion of comfort, and not getting it.
(Ego can only get juice from illusions)

There was an example in one of R.Kiyosaki´s
books; (Something the rich dad used as an
example)

A good detective has to be honest, moral and
have integrity, and a good detective will also have
to be able to think like a crook; dishonest,
immoral, and one without integrity.
(The action/reaction, both sides covered.)
Author:  Jared [ Fri Sep 27, 2013 8:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Unconditional love and being the best you can be
moose35 wrote:
Hi guys,

Have a couple of questions that I've been asking myself and can't seem to get the answer from.

Disregarding the issues that have to be faced, confronted, and accepted for now:
What will happen if you let go of the Energy behind these
questions......(?)
Author:  Flow83 [ Tue Oct 08, 2013 5:16 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Unconditional love and being the best you can be
Haha - Thanks guys. Great question Jared.
Author:  MattD [ Wed Oct 30, 2013 9:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Unconditional love and being the best you can be
Quote:
Basically, my question was "What do I need to do to love myself?". Maybe even hopeful that Kidd would say he wouldn't like himself if he wasn't achieving? Yeah, I was.
It's just a choice you make. One thing that I do as a part of my inner game work is I keep a journal that only consists of reasons why I am awesome or reasons why I love myself. I will write an entire page when I do this. Basically I write at the top of the page "I love myself because.." Or "I am awesome because.." And I just start listing off all these positive beliefs about myself even if at that moment they are not true. You would be surprised at how much positive energy is developed from doing this. When I'm finished I feel like i am the shit.

Also I make a grateful list everyday. The past couple months my attitude has improved so much it's at it's highest level it's ever been. You should try doing this if u want. It only takes a couple minutes.

But loving yourself unconditionally can take some time especially because of how you have been living your life taking in all the negative beliefs that the matrix has raised you to believe in. Because that is what it does. The matrix wants u to believe your not good enough which is bullshit. Your an extremely powerful highly intelligent being but the matrix does not want u to know this.

Something u have to accept though is that u are never going to make the right decisions at all times. Yes, u do know right from wrong but you will always experience times where u slip up and make the wrong decision. This is also part of being a human being.

When u face your fears and insecurities you find out what your really made of. You find out that behind all those beliefs is self love and an abundant amount of positive power. Then insecurities are small powerless forms of energy that don't stand a chance. But u have to drop the negative story you've created in your mind.

A lot of people enjoy the negative story they've created. It's a fun game to them even if they are suffering. I know alot of people like this. They love drama, they love feeling helpless and love creating problems. It's what their identity is and they love living their life this way. They love to complain and feel pity for themselves. Some of these people are hopeless. It's not something that I like to believe but when I listen to these people talk about their lives I can tell that even if I showed them the door they wouldn't open it because they get too much of an identity out of their current belief system. Unfortunately my mom is one of those people and no matter how many times ive talked to her and try to get her to wake up, it doesnt happen. shes too attached to her story. We do not belong to this group of people. Even when guys post stuff on here about going through tough times, we all know that there is a way out and we are searching for it. But it doesn't have to be as complicated as we make it out to be and I'm realizing that now.

The most effective way to change your life is to start being more grateful for what you have. Be grateful for everyday you wake up because life is absolutely incredible. Enjoy this reality and know that the reason why your here is only to create. Your not here to live into someone else's idea of life (matrix). Your here to create your own life, create a masterpiece. Start with focusing on having great energy and being grateful. EVERYTHING is energy and the more positive energy you create, the more you will attract into your life. It's simple science.
Author:  Altair [ Thu Oct 31, 2013 5:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Unconditional love and being the best you can be
MattD wrote:
A lot of people enjoy the negative story they've created. It's a fun game to them even if they are suffering. I know alot of people like this. They love drama, they love feeling helpless and love creating problems. It's what their identity is and they love living their life this way. They love to complain and feel pity for themselves. Some of these people are hopeless. It's not something that I like to believe but when I listen to these people talk about their lives I can tell that even if I showed them the door they wouldn't open it because they get too much of an identity out of their current belief system. Unfortunately my mom is one of those people and no matter how many times ive talked to her and try to get her to wake up, it doesnt happen. shes too attached to her story.
Yep, always gonna be coppertops :geek: .
Author:  MattD [ Fri Nov 01, 2013 6:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Unconditional love and being the best you can be
Forget about girls and all the other stuff that causes you to feel whatever it is you feel about life being unfair or whatever. You own your reality and if you believe that you have these deep issues about girls or whatever it is, then your going to live into that story. Might be pointless for me to post this cause I don't know if your hearing me but you have to take responsibility for your life. If you think that you have these deep underlying issues and that you need more time to figure this out then your selling yourself short.
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