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 Post subject: Father's day
PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 6:45 am 
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Bogus 'holiday', if it can even be called that.
I love my parents.
Don't need a holiday to celebrate that.

The realizations...
My pops, like few others probably here, was not the greatest role model.
I'm not going to get into the why's. He just wasn't.

Spent the day with my dad and his dad. Three generations of our DNA makeup in the same proximity for one day. 8-)
I saw where my dad got a lot of his antics and behaviors...his dad.
So...where did I get mine from.
My dad. (And mom and loads of other places, but mostly parents IMO)

Fuck now my life is fucked...I'm gonna be the same way my Dad is.
Wrong.

Apple's don't fall too fall from the tree's...usually.
But, they can be pushed...by certain forces.
Then they have momentum and begin rolling away from the tree.
Later, the apple is far far away from the tree, on it's own.
There, the apple seeds and becomes its OWN tree.

This is all coming to what I've thought about before, in high school, but saw it solidify that day.

I didn't go on this quest to "find myself", not at all.
Instead, I went on this path to see what was stopping me from CREATING/BEING (interchange those two words whenever) the person I want to be.
I'm a bi-product of my parent's pros, cons, and neutrals.
BUT, doesn't mean I have to keep being what they created.

This is all IMO and is what stands true for me.
It was damn liberating knowing I can be whatever the fuck I want to be and the only person stopping me is ME. 8-)

Afraid to Shine

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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 5:34 pm 
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This Be the Verse
By Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 8:42 pm 
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Regarding Emotional Intelligence (E.Q.), childhood experiences – how we were raised and what types of things happened to us - do exert some influence on us. So do our genetic makeup, current emotional support and physical conditions (such as lack of sleep, poor nutrition, illness).

However, the major influence on on E.Q. are our thoughts. Our emotions are largely controlled by our beliefs, our evaluation of events, the way we think about problems and our silent self-talk.

Your feelings result from the messages you give yourself. Your thoughts have much more to do with how you feel than what is actually happening in your life. That's how potent thoughts can be.

We have to get to the basic values and beliefs, analyze them and correct the false beliefs.

There is nothing you can do about the past days in your life.
There is something you can do about the present beliefs.
And then you can change the present emotions and behavior.
peregrinus wrote:
And don’t have any kids yourself.
If we don't have any kids, there is little hope for humanity. My parents are clinical cases and so are most parents nowadays. Maybe the most important reason I want to have kids is the abnormal environment I was raised in. I want them to grow in a healthy, supportive environment. If we want to change the world, then it is us who should want to have kids and not the mentally ill.

Philip Larkin should encourage the ones who get out to lead by example and not give up. His tone is too negative for my taste.

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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:29 am 
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peregrinus wrote:
This Be the Verse
By Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
:D



Zogler, I agree dude are thoughts, or perspectives on situations are a big impact.
zogler wrote:
However, the major influence on on E.Q. are our thoughts. Our emotions are largely controlled by our beliefs, our evaluation of events, the way we think about problems and our silent self-talk.
Beliefs are interesting to me. Beliefs are powerful, indeed. They also box in the mind. I read a quote from somewhere which be nice if it pops up again sometime, but it went something like: beliefs don't empower the mind, they only box it in.

Made sense for me.
Once a belief is implanted unconsciously or consciously, there is a reduction of awareness to the moment. Then, everything is referenced to a belief for 'quicker' loading times. Instead of just being with what comes up.

Beliefs may take away from the resilient peace that is here right now in us.
Once a belief is solidified, it needs to be constantly fed?

Idk honestly, I could be tired as I just got off work.

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"don't worry, be happy"


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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:43 am 
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Location: The side of a mountain somewhere...
Beliefs are mostly just thoughts about other thoughts.

Something happens which you experience. Then you have a thought that labels the experience. That thought is already one step removed from the actual the experience, of just being with what happens.

When you see a car, there's nothing inherent in the seeing of the car that announces that its a car - the label is purely a thought that happens after the experience.

Once you have labeled the experience/event/thing, you can have more thoughts about or relating to that first thought - things like: "that car is a beautiful shade of red," or "that car was driving awful fast."

You can also have more thoughts about that first thought like: "that thought was true," or "that thought was more accurate than the other thought I had before that said xyz."

All of these thoughts are beliefs. None of them have objective truth in them. Put an alien on the planet next to you, and he won't know what a car is. He won't know whats a beautiful shade of red, he won't know what is awfully fast or awfully slow. None of that is objective. Its all just subjective thought. Thats is all belief.

And since there's nothing truly objective about any of those thoughts, you would be foolish to believe your beliefs...
TheDude wrote:
Beliefs may take away from the resilient peace that is here right now in us.
Yes. The resilient peace is the actual experience. Without thoughts judging the experience as this or that, good or bad, right or wrong, there isn't any un-peace.

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"The society gives you a map; I give you only freedom. The society gives you character, I give you only consciousness. The society teaches you to live a conformist life ... I give you an invitation to go on an adventure." - Osho


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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 5:13 pm 
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I'm currently conducting quite the experiment. My first born is with his narcissitic mother in another state...I'm lucky to speak to him once a month for 5-10 minutes. He's almost 5 now. My youngest I see 2-3 times a week, and as long as his mother sticks with my program (which she is putting forth quite a remarkable effort), he could very well have a solid family unit in the next couple of years (he's only 6 months right now). Lord knows I didn't plan to have either of these children, but He obviously didn't care about my plan (replace Lord for which ever higher being you subscribe to...or none at all).

I predict the 2 brothers will be RADICALLY different in temperament, patience and perspective. I'm going to do everything in my power to indoctrinate my youngest as completely as possible...and the dynamic between he and his mother should fill in the rest of the blanks nicely. I fear for my 1st born and can only hope that his mom fucks herself over soon enough (it's a matter of WHEN not IF) so I can get custody before the damage is irreversible...or would 'infect' my current family unit.

I have no problem cutting my losses with him if by the time I could get him he would be 'too far gone'...not going to let a rotten apple spoil my Brady Bunch regardless if he is my son. That may sound harsh, but that's where I'm at with that. I promise you this tho...my youngest will DEFINITELY be a force to be reckoned with. :twisted:

We shall see how this unfolds... :ugeek:

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 3:49 am 
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Yo, Kidd are you ever gonna tell your theory on what determines the gender of your child?

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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:06 am 
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Interesting reads as always :)

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A truly powerful Man jealously guards his most precious resources; his independence and his ability to maneuver. True power isn’t controlling others, but the degree to which you control the course of your own life and your own choices. -Rational Male


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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 12:09 pm 
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The Kidd!! wrote:
I'm currently conducting quite the experiment. My first born is with his narcissitic mother in another state...I'm lucky to speak to him once a month for 5-10 minutes. He's almost 5 now. My youngest I see 2-3 times a week, and as long as his mother sticks with my program (which she is putting forth quite a remarkable effort), he could very well have a solid family unit in the next couple of years (he's only 6 months right now). Lord knows I didn't plan to have either of these children, but He obviously didn't care about my plan (replace Lord for which ever higher being you subscribe to...or none at all).

I predict the 2 brothers will be RADICALLY different in temperament, patience and perspective. I'm going to do everything in my power to indoctrinate my youngest as completely as possible...and the dynamic between he and his mother should fill in the rest of the blanks nicely. I fear for my 1st born and can only hope that his mom fucks herself over soon enough (it's a matter of WHEN not IF) so I can get custody before the damage is irreversible...or would 'infect' my current family unit.

I have no problem cutting my losses with him if by the time I could get him he would be 'too far gone'...not going to let a rotten apple spoil my Brady Bunch regardless if he is my son. That may sound harsh, but that's where I'm at with that. I promise you this tho...my youngest will DEFINITELY be a force to be reckoned with. :twisted:

We shall see how this unfolds... :ugeek:
For a couple of days I thought this was the most inconsiderate and asshole-ish thing I've ever read and debated leaving the forum, if it would lead me to consider abandoning my own son in the future.

Anger subsided, now I see the truth of it. Replacing hope with a logical assessment and doing what's best for all parties involved.

So, thank you for posting that Mr.K.

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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 2:26 pm 
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moose35 wrote:
The Kidd!! wrote:
I'm currently conducting quite the experiment. My first born is with his narcissitic mother in another state...I'm lucky to speak to him once a month for 5-10 minutes. He's almost 5 now. My youngest I see 2-3 times a week, and as long as his mother sticks with my program (which she is putting forth quite a remarkable effort), he could very well have a solid family unit in the next couple of years (he's only 6 months right now). Lord knows I didn't plan to have either of these children, but He obviously didn't care about my plan (replace Lord for which ever higher being you subscribe to...or none at all).

I predict the 2 brothers will be RADICALLY different in temperament, patience and perspective. I'm going to do everything in my power to indoctrinate my youngest as completely as possible...and the dynamic between he and his mother should fill in the rest of the blanks nicely. I fear for my 1st born and can only hope that his mom fucks herself over soon enough (it's a matter of WHEN not IF) so I can get custody before the damage is irreversible...or would 'infect' my current family unit.

I have no problem cutting my losses with him if by the time I could get him he would be 'too far gone'...not going to let a rotten apple spoil my Brady Bunch regardless if he is my son. That may sound harsh, but that's where I'm at with that. I promise you this tho...my youngest will DEFINITELY be a force to be reckoned with. :twisted:

We shall see how this unfolds... :ugeek:
For a couple of days I thought this was the most inconsiderate and asshole-ish thing I've ever read and debated leaving the forum, if it would lead me to consider abandoning my own son in the future.

Anger subsided, now I see the truth of it. Replacing hope with a logical assessment and doing what's best for all parties involved.

So, thank you for posting that Mr.K.
...and thank you for NOT posting until you allowed logic to override your emotions. :geek:

I'm not saying it would be an easy decision...I'm just saying that I'm prepared to make a necessary decision if I must. :ugeek:
Quote:
Yo, Kidd are you ever gonna tell your theory on what determines the gender of your child?
Maybe...still fine tuning it. ;)

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 5:56 pm 
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I am 8-0 so far this year...

Some people lost quite a bit guessing wrongly on the sex of their child...

Of course the big one comes in a month or so.. Royal baby, place your bets :)

I firmly expect to get a nice holiday out of that one.. without even touching bookmakers etc.

-

PS. Even guessed my new neighbors one, after only meeting him once and never meeting her.. She gave birth about a month after they moved in.... You should have seen his eyes afterwards, he was convinced it would go the other way...

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 6:07 pm 
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Royal Baby is a xxx. 8-)

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


Last edited by The Kidd!! on Mon Jun 24, 2013 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 6:11 pm 
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The Kidd!! wrote:
Royal Baby is a xxx. 8-)
Bleh, you spoilsport... here was me hoping for a big debate to ensue.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 6:18 pm 
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Oh it can still be a debate...these foolios have argued for less. :lol:

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 8:17 am 
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Supplicating father = boy? :idea:

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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:05 pm 
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Kidd!!, considering the place I was in at the time when you showed up and pulled me out, and my age and geographical location and how far I've come since, can it really be too late for anyone?.

I understand your position but hell, if it can happen for me then all is not lost for the first kid.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."


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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 4:22 pm 
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Alchemist wrote:
Kidd!!, considering the place I was in at the time when you showed up and pulled me out, and my age and geographical location and how far I've come since, can it really be too late for anyone?.

I understand your position but hell, if it can happen for me then all is not lost for the first kid.
The difference is me helping you, be it directly or remotely, does not affect the dynamics of my current immediate family. Introducing him into my established household if he has been completely indoctrinated by his mother and probably in full blown rebellious mode (ie insubordinate, disrespectful, apathetic, etc) would wreak absolute havoc on my status quo.

I'm not saying that I would completely excommunicate him...he is my son. I would always try every now and then to get thru to him remotely. But to move him in and disrupt what should be a smoothly running system by that point is NOT an option. :ugeek:

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 5:24 am 
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I was with moose for a while, thought it was harsh and messed up. Then I saw it for what it was.
Truly, the pill is harsh too swallow, but can be done.
Alchemist wrote:
Kidd!!, considering the place I was in at the time when you showed up and pulled me out, and my age and geographical location and how far I've come since, can it really be too late for anyone?.

I understand your position but hell, if it can happen for me then all is not lost for the first kid.
I'm gonna venture it's not too late for anyone (within reason; 85 year old man is pushing it).

I was COMPLETELY against this forum when I first came here, and for sometime after that. Yet, something kept me here, because I had a feeling this was thee place.

I've realized why I was rebellious to the message here for so long.
It was because I was fed my knowledge from women my ENTIRE life.
Mom, her 4 sisters, my 10+ female cousins, and grandma.
The females outnumber the males in our family 4x's over!

No wonder my initial feelings when arriving here made me label Kidd & Star as misogynists; no offense, that's nowhere near of what I think of them now. ;)

Funny thing for me looking back in my pua days was the pua artist I looked up to most was............Zan. :shock: :lol:
I just loved how he treated women sooooo respectively!
He was exactly how the girls in my family told me to be around women; like a reusable tampond! :evil:



:lol: :lol: :lol:

It's never too late for anyone. How bad does one want it?
And having a highly trained jedi master as your father doesn't hurt one bit.

EDIT: Growing up I viewed most of my uncles and male family members as douches and disrespectful to women. Now my mindset and view is completely the opposite!

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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 6:14 pm 
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Me? A misogynist? Poppycock! :lol:

I LOVE bitches!...I just don't trust them very much. ;) :twisted:

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:


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 Post subject: Re: Father's day
PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 7:12 pm 
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Relates to some conversations that have had recently that I got a lot out of.

You can get a TON out of exploring the guys you have a very strong reaction to and label, positive or negative. It is 99% about you, projection and disowned elements of yourself that you overly worship or overly judge.

I'm not talking about preference and who you dig or who you think is a waste of time or even a total ridiculous clown. Using the Zan example, there are guys who seem to worship this guy and dramatically over romanticize into some fairy tale idea, and there are also guys who ABHOR him with a level of hate + time and energy talking about him that doth protest too much.

These guys present an archetypal image and do it very consciously. It attracts those who resonate with it, and if they are are imbalanced enough, to the point of fanatical fanboy status. This can be the lover / romancer of all women to the ultra badass, hardcore alpha male as grossly exaggerated characters. It can hook guys like an addict who lack, worship, even secretly abhor that trait.

On the other side, guys will project very stereotypical images onto guys like The Kidd or other forum members here despite never even seeing them, Kidd is this, Peregrinus is this, and you have a whole image and story about them - often closely related to some character you know. It tells you more about you than about them. Notice if you do this.

All of this comes from a boyhood mentality, and again, those who market to it do this very consciously. The mature perspective is realizing that all of these elements are available to us and that you are in the center (this is the 'king' archetype) who is in control of it all and makes the decision when to be a lover and when to kill with your bare hands with the wisdom to do what. You have the energy to be friendly/social/cool with a group or a chick, but to absolutely put your foot down and uncompromisingly shut down or eject from any bullshit. You can do both and all in between without being stuck. No mature relationship (even if it's just sex) is THAT one dimensional. No guy is ALWAYS playing entirely in one energy, which would be boring as hell, and would eventually prove unsatisfying even if it did get you laid a few times exaggeratedly playing that part.

This is directly related to the projected fantasy idea you see implied in guys' thinking who read certain stuff, that you just stand like a statue being "indifferent" - not do anything, and then "somehow" you and the girl are alone in an apartment having sex, etc. etc.

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