I have many thoughts that have been swirling around in my brain some conscious others kinda just there. It will be hard to organize them as they all interconnect and are seperate and seemingly unrelated at the same time.
Thinking back on a post grinus made about macro give a fuck thoughts and how now that they are fading I can more clearly see the micro ones. To some extent they might always be there but I would be at peace with them. It been that way for a while but I was so comfortable with it and it seemed so natural I hardly noticed it. The pimp tight mindset in the context so often dealt with here is completely and totally unconscious and as easy as breathing. I noticed it deeply in a store the other day I was in a zen like emptiness of mind and yet cloaking and doing everything without taking up any mental space.
My ego was seemingly overcome...or so it seemed.
Ego is sneaky mofo though, the reason I truly have no ego in my relationships with others if because I have no investment in the outcome. I honestly don't give a fuck, there is nothing for it to grasp.
My next field of Mastery which I have mentioned a a couple times before is poker specifically online because I love the strategy and complexity of it. I have little doubt in my mind that have what it takes to truly excel. All it really comes down to is how hard I am willing to work.
It's something that really matters to me, so there something there to grasp. One of my biggest character flaws is that I can be too hard on myself and expect too much. It really is a double edged sword seeking you to be better but at the same time you can end up taking responsibility for things out of your control. Like someone else's actions or the way the cards fall. My ego never disappeared it just tricked me into thinking it did so it could resurface some where else. Now that I have the proper distance to see it for what it's truly is things will be much easier.
Mastering the wise teachings of Kidd!!, peregrinus, and everyone else has really provided the foundation for everything I do.
Where others see bullets and impossibility I only see code.I got a pro coach in March and my game has already accelerated so much it's crazy, very excited at the prospect of more stuff to learn and inner work to do.