Natural Freedom :: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut

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Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut http://naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=3176	Page 3 of 3

Author:

MattD [ Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:40 pm ]

Post subject:

Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut

Dali wrote:

MattD wrote:

When you become indifferent or free from your attachment to wanting approval from women it literally does not change shit. You don't automatically have women throwing themselves at you just cause you don't care about getting laid anymore. Too be honest, your going to have to face the hard truth that your never going to be that guy that gets tons of hot women without doing anything.

The only thing that a girl is attracted to is when a guy is being himself and he's not trying. That's what girls are attracted to. But even if you begin being comfortable in your own skin, your never going to be a guy that walks into a bar and has a supermodel begging u to have sex with her.

Your really never going to be that guy. So you might as well just accept it and start focusing on something else that can actually add value to your life.

Actually you start to be yourself, behave as you naturally are, when you have no attachments (not outcome oriented). Because, If you still thinking of the end gratification (supermodels begging for sex?

), after you "tought you were deattached" and then nothing happened, is because you are still attached. Is simple. Another thing, get in check the projections you are doing, aka projecting limiting beliefs.

To add another thing, I suggest you search the thread: 'The difference between apathy vs indifference.'

I get what your saying. Indifference (in the way we talk about it) means being comfortable in your own skin and not being attached. But to say that when your indifferent it makes every single girl you talk to want you simply is not true.

Author:	MattD [ Wed Aug 07, 2013 10:59 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut
Let me rephrase...indifference is important but if u want to be able to consistently hook up with hot girls, it takes more then just being indifferent.

Author:

Flow83 [ Wed Aug 07, 2013 11:32 pm ]

Post subject:

Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut

MattD wrote:

Let me rephrase...indifference is important but if u want to be able to consistently hook up with hot girls, it takes more then just being indifferent.

viewtopic.php?f=18&t=2974&p=29018#p29018

Yep, a bit like thinking you will know how to play a piano just because you are indifferent to whether or not you play it.

Now that's not a great example because women being attracted to men is NATURAL and it is natural that this vibe will be more attractive broadly speaking, but it does not mean you are able to make the steps happen that go to you actually being in a room together alone and progress it.

I will say it was only after digging deeply into this type of inner work that I have had the experience-- girl walks up to you, hits on you, is clearly ready to progress it, you follow the flow, done deal. Nothing like that ever happened before and I've always looked physically the same. As a guy who is visibly comfortable with himself, chill etc, for those girls who are attracted and have the personality type to step up, you become approachable (well I can't speak for anyone but myself.)

Of course just not giving a shit and being approachable are not the same qualities either.

It's absolutely the most powerful place to operate from but is not some trump card that substitutes all skills.. in terms of RESULTS, but it is extremely liberating to not have all of your self-worth and inner peace based on external results anymore.

Author:	Meraki [ Wed Aug 07, 2013 11:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut
Flow, that is a classic thread. I love the South Park reference. For those who haven't, go read that thread. And it should be in the Treasure Chest for sure.

Author:

Dali [ Thu Aug 08, 2013 12:41 am ]

Post subject:

Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut

Meraki wrote:

Flow, that is a classic thread. I love the South Park reference. For those who haven't, go read that thread. And it should be in the Treasure Chest for sure.

Second!

Author:	Altair [ Thu Aug 08, 2013 3:55 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut
If I walk into a bar or nightclub, and do nothing I can pretty much be certain that one of the hot girls that is getting hit on all night is gonna just roll up and surrender the ball. Happens all the time.

Author:

MattD [ Thu Aug 08, 2013 5:49 pm ]

Post subject:

Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut

Altair wrote:

If I walk into a bar or nightclub, and do nothing I can pretty much be certain that one of the hot girls that is getting hit on all night is gonna just roll up and surrender the ball.

Happens all the time.

It happens. It's happened to me and probably alot of guys on the forum. But alot of these discussions are still about how to get more women which means that guys are still obsessed with attaining this illusory level of success with women that does not exist.

All I was saying was indifference isn't going to automatically make you a player like flow said. I have had moments in the past where I was on a hot streak with hooking up with women and then other times where nothing was happening because it was my choice. If I wanted to go out and meet women then it was happening but if I didn't then nothing was. All the while i was being indifferent.

I know a few guys that are amazing with hooking up with different hot girls. And some of them are not indifferent. Some of them are completely attached. Another one of them never says no. He will literally fuck any girl that wants him. Indifference really doesn't have anything to do with it. It's only their mindset. They don't even know what indifference is but what they do know is they love women and they aren't ashamed of anything. Plus they are cool ass motherfuckers to chill with.

One of my friends is literally the most successful guy with women I have ever seen. No joke this guy has women blowing up his phone, facebook, online dating sites, everything. All because of his mindset. He knows he's a player and when he sees something he wants he takes it, no doubt, no questions.

Indifference is for you, for us, it's for freedom. We focus on ourselves and adding value to our lives for us. And if your still trying to "become indifference" cause you think women will want you more then start trying to grow a pair of balls.

Author:	caster [ Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:55 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut
This thread got me thinking about indifference again so I want to express some of my thoughts on it to see what others think. A few months ago I had an insight, that if you are afraid or get nervous at the thought of going up to and interacting with, let's say an attractive woman, then you are not really indifferent towards women. I have changed my mind since then however. There is a famous incident in Tibet where a Buddhist monk doused himself in gasoline, lit a match and sat in what I imagine was still meditation, while the flames ate away at his flesh. I believe he was not indifferent to burning alive as he had that goal and carried out the actions nescessary to make a strong statement. I do believe he was indifferent to the process and the pain as it was necessary to make the strong statement that he was trying to make. This does not mean he was immune to the pain however, he probably felt most of it. To me indifference is a metastate where you observe and absolutely accept reality, what you are feeling and choose, consciously, how you will act, regardless of consequences. I think it is true that it is best to be indifferent to that which we have no control over but that means we cannot be indifferent to our own actions or let those things we are supposedly indifferent towards dictate them. I am not there yet but I believe once I cross over that threshold I will no longer be dodging bullets.

Author:	Gonzo [ Thu Sep 26, 2013 11:01 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut
I really like the image of the burning monk as an example of indifference!

Author:

Jared [ Fri Sep 27, 2013 9:38 am ]

Post subject:

Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut

Flow83 wrote:

MattD wrote:

Let me rephrase...indifference is important but if u want to be able to consistently hook up with hot girls, it takes more then just being indifferent.

viewtopic.php?f=18&t=2974&p=29018#p29018

Yep, a bit like thinking you will know how to play a piano just because you are indifferent to whether or not you play it.

You are never lost with sex because it is an instinct.
I had no conscious effort to having my first sex at 15.
I just do the right things. I don´t think about it.

I do the right things when it doesn´t lead to sex too.
It just doesn´t lead to there and that´s the right thing
then.

I have even had a woman fall asleep during the act, so I stopped.

(That was funny as heck !)

Author:

Flow83 [ Sat Sep 28, 2013 12:14 am ]

Post subject:

Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut

Jared wrote:

(That was funny as heck !)

That's a good point Jared. Sex and male/female interaction is a lot more part of one's nature than playing piano

So much time spent in the mind, or the layers of conceptual/emotional 'stuff' that so many lose connection with the gut/balls that "knows" what to do and will always know,

Perhaps one could say that trying to DO indifference is much of the problem in the first place -- as though it is a specific set of actions or behaviors that produces results, vs. an attitude and way of being in the world.

Quote:

I do the right things

Which are what they are in the moment. Your gut knows when to make "a move" (which can mean many things, basically leading it in a certain direction) or whatever else. Too many pre-determined mental concepts of what those actions are supposed to be, which are 'indifference approved' or not OK, and you're shutting down the flow that just does what comes next -- at least in my experience.

Author:

peregrinus [ Sat Sep 28, 2013 10:17 am ]

Post subject:

Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut

Flow83 wrote:

Quote:

I do the right things

Which are what they are in the moment.

Your gut knows when to make "a move" (which can mean many things, basically leading it in a certain direction) or whatever else.

Too many pre-determined mental concepts of what those actions are supposed to be, which are 'indifference approved' or not OK, and you're shutting down the flow that just does what comes next -- at least in my experience.

This!!!

This, this this..

Author:

Flux [ Thu Oct 10, 2013 5:47 pm ]

Post subject:

Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut

Leo wrote:

Flow83 wrote:

Making a commitment puts you in a certain class. If you're still actually doing it 3 months later you are in a much smaller class.

So Flux, it's 3 months later. Did you make a commitment to yourself or not?

Nope.

Not until now anyway.

I haven't been doing much of anything but being lazy but... I've started to get serious about my school work and a couple of other goals right now. I'll do mind work on a schedule, got a bunch of shit to do.

Author:	lightsleeper [ Thu Oct 17, 2013 8:00 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut
May I re-mind you that... Your thoughts and emotions are not "YOURS" -- They are simply thoughts and emotions. Go figure Sleep

Author:	Slim Titan [ Sat Feb 15, 2014 12:16 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut
How does an elephant free itself from a chain? very slowly.

Author:

TheDude [ Fri Apr 09, 2021 9:41 pm ]

Post subject:

Re: Fear, Aniexty, Pain and the Gut

Flow83 wrote:

Commitment is: I will commit to learning what works, and then doing it .. every. single. fucking. day. and keep going no matter what it takes. That's the actual work part - not the part that discusses the work or reads about it.

Making a commitment puts you in a certain class. If you're still actually doing it 3 months later you are in a much smaller class.

Having deadlines is a great tool to compliment making commitments. If I have a set time for whatever it is I'm focusing on. I'm more likely to focus in on what's important instead of wasting time on things that aren't.

Not having deadlines in the past has resulted in me wasting a lot of time - I dragged things out that I should've dropped a long time ago.

Hindsight is 20/20. Live and learn!

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