What just transpired was really beautiful.
My roommates and I got into a little panel discussion you could say: we chatted about the differences between Men and Women, feminism, upbringings, social conditioning, and a heap of other things that was filled with passion and emotion.
The room contained myself, three other guys, and a girl.
In our discussion we chatted about choice. I stated people make the choice to live their lives how'd they like; some make conscious choices and others make unconscious choices.
I referred to Socrates quote:
| Quote: |
The unexamined life is one not worth living.
More specifically, the topic came about why surreal killers become serial killers. One said its from their upbringing; I agreed. However, I stated that at the end of the day they make the choice to BE a surreal killer.
I mentioned as an example: I make the CHOICE that I'm a "shy person". I told them I don't know why I believe that story to be true, but at the moment that's how it is. And, people like to take the VICTIM mentality of "things happened to THEM" rather than accepting and moving on to live a life of their choosing.
I mentioned after our discussion died down a bit that I joined the internship I'm apart of, sexual education, to broaden my perception of sex and relationships. A tell them that a few days ago I came across a belief I have: I equate sex to love.
My roommates asked:
Her: Why do you believe that?
Me: I don't know, it's just the way I was raised.
Her: You talked about choice, how come you... (I cut her off; got emotional; fired back)
Me (can't retype exactly what I wrote; was in the moment): Don't say that, you don't know what I do! I'm always reflecting on myself to see why I do what I do!! (I realized what had just happened.
)Me: Wow, I see what your saying. You're right.
She hit a nerve! I wasn't aware of it in the moment; I got so protective and offensive so quickly.
| Quote: |
Sticking feathers up your butt doesn't make you a chicken.
(referring to me chatting about NOT being a victim)It was a beautiful experience that unfolded right before my eyes showing me that I still hold a trace of being the victim. I'm going to use this as leverage on my journey. It also makes sense of a few things for me that left me puzzled.
