Natural Freedom

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 9:23 pm 
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Man things on this forum seem to be popping up in my life lately.

I got in a fight with my dad and that brought stuff up. Unfortunately I accepted guilt. I know he tried and had a tough childhood, but that doesn't mean it's ok for him to lass out in bitterness. I justified his behavior, but its not justified we all have problems. If I were to do it it's not justified.

When my dad calls me selfish, lately I feel like just saying yep, I'm selfish and walking away. I love him cause he's my dad, and all he's sacrificed, but it's not my fault. I'm selfish, but I'm tired of being made out to feel like the most selfish person in the world. The stuff my parents said to me... Like my mom I remember saying something like your going to be a murder or your like one because I was rude or defiant. Whyyy would you ever say that to your kid. What purpose does that accomplish. Why must you take your issues out on your kids. The made me feel good and loved and yet, other times like I was and evil psychopath.

Parents do a lot of damage.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 9:33 pm 
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foofatron wrote:
Man things on this forum seem to be popping up in my life lately.

I got in a fight with my dad and that brought stuff up. Unfortunately I accepted guilt. I know he tried and had a tough childhood, but that doesn't mean it's ok for him to lass out in bitterness. I justified his behavior, but its not justified we all have problems. If I were to do it it's not justified.

When my dad calls me selfish, lately I feel like just saying yep, I'm selfish and walking away. I love him cause he's my dad, and all he's sacrificed, but it's not my fault. I'm selfish, but I'm tired of being made out to feel like the most selfish person in the world. The stuff my parents said to me... Like my mom I remember saying something like your going to be a murder or your like one because I was rude or defiant. Whyyy would you ever say that to your kid. What purpose does that accomplish. Why must you take your issues out on your kids. The made me feel good and loved and yet, other times like I was and evil psychopath.

Parents do a lot of damage.
Watch this movie (chasing mavericks) : http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... =22&t=3060 :mrgreen: :ugeek:

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"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 06, 2013 7:34 pm 
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fufe wrote:
The Kidd!! wrote:
So telling that the teacher would share that with YOU. :geek:
I'm sorry but I don't understand what you mean there, that I was supposed to hear it ?
That he sees that you are having issues, that you gotta be careful/ have to learn not to rely & depend (emotionally) on someone other than yourself (girlfriend). He made the possible consequences pretty clear.

Imagine he just made your doppelgänger up. ;)

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 9:51 am 
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Bringing this thread to life again.
Merriam-Webster wrote:
self·ish
adjective \ˈsel-fish\:
having or showing concern only for yourself and not for the needs or feelings of other people
I don't view myself as a selfish individual.
I take care of my owns needs first, then share the remaining space with people I enjoy being with.
That's not selfish too me, that's more like an individual with a healthy foundation and mindset.
foofatron wrote:
When my dad calls me selfish...but I'm tired of being made out to feel like the most selfish person in the world.
My mom did the same to me at a young age. She'll try it once and a while now, but it doesn't have much of an effect on me. She senses that and doesn't use it as much.
She had good intentions with: thinking of others as well.
She only went a little overboard with it and used the wrong method to instill that view.
There's also a reason why I viewed my mom as having an unbalanced self-esteem. She relied on others more than herself, as well as focusing too much on others. She was being "self-less" without being selfless; Ego trip.
She also had many other variables and experiences that made her who she was and is today.
Can't know everything about a person.

I've got luvz for my mom. She was there for me since day 1. Can't say that about too many people.
That being said, that love doesn't go over heaven and hell.
"Treat people accordingly" still stands.
Merrick wrote:
fufe wrote:
The Kidd!! wrote:
So telling that the teacher would share that with YOU. :geek:
Nice analysis Merrick, didn't see that.

I'm sorry but I don't understand what you mean there, that I was supposed to hear it ?
That he sees that you are having issues, that you gotta be careful/ have to learn not to rely & depend (emotionally) on someone other than yourself (girlfriend). He made the possible consequences pretty clear.

Imagine he just made your doppelgänger up. ;)
Nice analysis Merrick, didn't catch that.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 11:40 am 
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Altair wrote:
One thing I noticed in my introspections was how the negative patterns spanned generations.

My parents, particularly my father had a certain dynamic between his mother and father and chose a mate that recreated the events in his childhood and thus passed that dynamic onto me kinda like a virus.

Be aware of that.
I've noticed that too. Having spent proper time with my parents recently for the first time in about 15 years, observing them on a daily basis, the patterns are almost like a biological blueprint.

I wondered why I held so much hatred for my Mother all these years, and then it turns out we are a MIRROR. Awareness is key though. Pity the blind ones who go through their entire lives without realising what is and that they can break the cycle.

The Greek tragedy genre shows this perfectly, how negativity is recycled through generations of a family.

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PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2013 8:14 pm 
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There is a poem:
Quote:
This Be The Verse By Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another’s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don’t have any kids yourself.
Seems I also posted this at : http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopi ... 579#p32579

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 05, 2013 2:37 am 
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I'm right with u guys. I don't know where I would be at today if I didn't have the knowledge I do now. Just from YouTube videos and forums like this my life is really becoming something I didn't even know was possible. I now have this understanding of myself and life in general that has given me peace of mind and faith in myself. But there was a lot of dark days I had on this path where I did think about suicide a lot. I hated life and wanted out. It was really bad. But it's all worth it, it makes you stronger and gives you more determination.

For the guys that just joined this forum or the ones that have been on the path but are still struggling, figure out what it is that u want and keep putting in the work. Listen to the guys on here that know what they're talking about because they have been through it and any other people u like to listen to on YouTube or read in books. The positive change is inevitable. Especially since you have unplugged yourself and you've heard the truth. You couldn't go back even if u wanted to. Keep moving forward everyday.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 11:21 pm 
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rekieter wrote:
My sister never gave a single fuck about them, and if she washed the dishes once my parents thought it was a blessing. I was completely mannipulated by them to feel guilty if I did anything I WANTED TO, that wasn't benefiting to them.

so rekieter,
I'm curious...

How\why did your sister get a free pass while you got all the guilt trips and etc?

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 9:34 am 
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Sniper wrote:
rekieter wrote:
My sister never gave a single fuck about them, and if she washed the dishes once my parents thought it was a blessing. I was completely mannipulated by them to feel guilty if I did anything I WANTED TO, that wasn't benefiting to them.

so rekieter,
I'm curious...

How\why did your sister get a free pass while you got all the guilt trips and etc?
Interesting family power dynamics.......

Parents use guilt because they are powerless.
(Mostly lack of knowledge, which could have
easily been corrected in this information age,
back then w/ a library card. Organized knowledge
leads to power.)

No person behind guilt; always the awareness gap.

Any person who cares the least has the power.
Guilt does not need specific targets, and will damage
those who accept it.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 1:39 am 
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Jared wrote:
Any person who cares the least has the power.
Guilt does not need specific targets, and will damage
those who accept it.
Gold!!

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 2:08 am 
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MattD wrote:
I'm right with u guys. I don't know where I would be at today if I didn't have the knowledge I do now. Just from YouTube videos and forums like this my life is really becoming something I didn't even know was possible. I now have this understanding of myself and life in general that has given me peace of mind and faith in myself. But there was a lot of dark days
It's totally normal, I had my relapses too...

No one has prepared us for 'the real world'\reality...

however once you know the truth and accept it life becomes easier. Since you know that everything is just about 'value' it's hard to take rejection or an ending of a relationship (doesn't matter if it's with a girl or with a good friends) seriously and... you don't have to put a lot of energy into satisfying people which bring no value into your life.

I can't remember how many times in my life I spent so much energy trying to please others that gave me no value or the times I got pissed off when friendships ended when I did nothing 'bad'.

Now that everything is clear I save so much time, energy and peace of mind...

_________________
"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2013 4:54 pm 
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Sniper wrote:
It's totally normal, I had my relapses too...

No one has prepared us for 'the real world'\reality...

however once you know the truth and accept it life becomes easier. Since you know that everything is just about 'value' it's hard to take rejection or an ending of a relationship (doesn't matter if it's with a girl or with a good friends) seriously and... you don't have to put a lot of energy into satisfying people which bring no value into your life.

I can't remember how many times in my life I spent so much energy trying to please others that gave me no value or the times I got pissed off when friendships ended when I did nothing 'bad'.

Now that everything is clear I save so much time, energy and peace of mind...
[ img ]


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