Natural Freedom

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 Post subject: Wall
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 4:55 pm 
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I realeased and let go of various stuff, mostly about the last girl I got so attached too, then various stuff about not feeling good enough, sadnesses I did not know where they came from.. Lots of stuff, but about most it's like I forget abotu what it was after the let go, hard to describe some time after
I spent 2 hours doing this today, but I stand now in front of something that seems like a wall - Some time ago I've forgiven my parents because they didn't know any better etc.. But today I end up thinking about how I'm in relationships like my parents - They are both single, father longterm, mother broke up with a guy recently.. And I see them hardly ever meeting somebody compatible with them in relationship.. It's not they don't have anybody that likes them, at all... I just don't know what to do more, really, I see myself standing in the same situation.

If I concetrate on being busy, this will undermine everything. I just want how to deal with this, I can't seem to dig up anything about it. It's been reflected in all my previous relationships, the most recent was very simmilar to my parents' when they were together in tons of ways.. I don't know how much is it wrong and how much it's OK.

Kidd I once spoke about the feelings and thoughts of not being like your father, you told me that you know how that feels, how do you see yourself in regards of your father ? How do you see women you end up with in relation to your parents' relationship ? (Everybody else is welcome to share too)

I have a belief that, why should I be with a girl that's not good match for me ? Is it bad ?

I'm dissapointed... I'm ending probably like my father, I start to see women jocking me, but they are not attractive to me and I feel guilty I'm not attracted :?


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 5:02 pm 
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Why do you feel guilty? That's the real question

If the positions were reversed they would have no mercy or kindness for you. The world is cold, be colder :geek:

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 5:32 pm 
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I feel that because it feels like it's may fault.. I have no memory of anybody saying that to me, I've tried to release but no success.. What I really don't get, is why I release everything about that girl, and it always comes back :? I wanted to write how I want her but realised it's bad lol, she's not interested anymore so I'm fucked.. And since I meet a girl I like like once a year, there goes my frustrating and selfbeating self again :| I've spent hours trying to release this shit and I don't know what to aim at anymore..
It doesn't make any sense to me. I walk the extra mile tons of times, walk the path further the most I know and no results.


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 6:13 pm 
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fufe wrote:
What I really don't get, is why I release everything about that girl, and it always comes back :? I wanted to write how I want her but realised it's bad lol, she's not interested anymore so I'm fucked..
Then you haven´t truly let her go. If it comes back like that it is still deep inside you. Keep digging, mate!

http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=2748

Read my recent thread. It´s pretty much the same topic, aint it ;)
If she is not interested why should you be? Why should you be "fucked" the tiniest bit?
The problem actually already solved itself. :ugeek:

It´s not "bad" that you want her, per se. It´s bad that you can´t control your "wanting".
It is even worse that you almost didn´t acknowledge it.

Once you´ve admitted to yourself that you want her, you are free to realize that you do not need her.

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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 6:38 pm 
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peregrinus wrote:
Let it go
8-)

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And what is fear of need but need itself?


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 6:53 pm 
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It's never really about the girl.

Merrick is right. You must dig deeper!

The girl represents something to you. You must determine what that is.

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“I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. . . ."

-Thoreau's Walden


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 7:29 pm 
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The Pokemon Trainer wrote:
The girl represents something to you. You must determine what that is.
I found out what it is with my "trouble-maker".
She represents my biological mother, that I´ve never known.
I´m adopted so that makes for deep rooted mommy-issues.
An emotional scar, that only early childhood neglect & subsequent separation is capable of leaving.
She filled the void that my "baby-trauma" left.
Something my adoptive mother tried but never managed to do.
(I don´t blame her, it isn´t her fault.)

So that shit goes real deep, straight to the core.
In spite of that it can be dealt with now.

Now it is your turn to look deep.
Seek, and ye shall find!

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Perfect behavior is born of complete indifference.


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 7:44 pm 
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[ img ]

you came with this realization after stanting in front of a wall?

if that so, what does that tell you?, maybe that your body cries for attention but your mind wants all the control.

and you are doing the same thing again that in your other posts, what does that tell you?, aren't just stories in your mind? if they are created in your mind and the mind says almost whatever she wants then what is there to be solved? just realize that your mind has no control , what you are doning now had worked before for you, so stop feeding that machine, i did a lot of bullshit on this forum that to me seemed ok because it worked for me before, it gave me attention, that's what you are doing. also realize the effect on others.

after all this time i still have those feellings of insecurity anger etc, but they don't say shit about me they just happen and i let them be, isn't that glorious?, that all that shit is not you, just body mind sensations with no story so break that nasty habit.


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 7:59 pm 
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rant wrote:
also realize the effect on others.
Like getting me to spill all my guts, sharing my mommy-issues and shit :|
Don´t let it be for nothing, motherf*cker! :evil:

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Perfect behavior is born of complete indifference.


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 3:51 pm 
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Holy shit Merrick you were so right, it was mommy issues, rejections, and some deep sadness I don't know the origin off.. I faced that I want her soooooo much, named all the sympy shit and I used it as a door to answer this issue... I spent literally two hours addresing this shit, I cried like a motherfucker
Altho I don't feel it's all gone, I'm still attracted to her, but it's not like "OMG SHE'S THE ONE LOL !!", more like "she's cute and shit"... But secretly in my mind I still want her, so I gotta dig more deeply :|

You are right lol it's never really about the girl, it's those projections from the inner shit


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 7:53 pm 
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I know I'm gonna get chewed out for this but fufe, you are stuck in a loop! Wake up!

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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 7:57 pm 
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Prodigy wrote:
I know I'm gonna get chewed out for this but fufe, you are stuck in a loop! Wake up!
If you have a minute, Prodigy...please post some links to threads that fufe has started in the past that are essentially the SAME OLD SONG...then LEAVE HIM BE. :ugeek:

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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:03 pm 
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I suck at copying and pasting links via the tablet, but basically its most of the threads that hit 5 pages and there is still no clarity on fufe's part. Basically the same answers are given, but the threads are usually left unresolved because of his attachments. This is not coming from a place of hate fufe, I don't know you personally so I have no Ill feeling towards you. You have to accept some things and let go of some and move on, or you will not grow. I'm gonna be honest fufe, when you just came here and posted how you were dominating that one girl I was inspired. Unless that was a front, who you were then should have been amplified based on all the knowledge available to you, regardless if you are getting your way with women or not.

You also make it seem like the girls you are interested in are unicorns. :?

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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 9:55 pm 
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I'm sorry to disappoint you... But glad I inspired you at some point

So... I did some faster EFT on this tight feeling what i felt about needing to do everything fast, get the girl, etc, the needynes... It kinda changed, I stopped.. After few minutes this feeling in the body like moved and starting going out via my throat (that's how it felt) and I started feeling something heavy and fearful coming up, so i EFT'd like crazy and I stayed with the feelings and tapped on them.. It got to the pont when I was shaking and afraid so bad I just wanted to run to mommy for her to save me (there you go, fufe...) so I followed alone, tapped, rolled on bed, feelings fears sensations still there, released them and let them go... After a hour and half of this letting go I feel kinda peaceful and shit tired..

This shit is SCARY. I understand fully how Kidd meant simple but not easy. I'd appreciate some pushup couch for this, Flow, is a skype session with you still an option ? :?:

I think the cycle went on an on because I didn't face this deep core fears.. Probably didn't face everything yet, but I would probably lose my sanity if I did

(Unicorns ? :D)


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:01 pm 
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Quote:
So... I did some faster EFT
...and that's where I stopped reading. :roll:

Hooey in... Hooey out. :|

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:03 pm 
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"You meet a girl you like once a year" sounds like a mythical creature ;) sounds like it has remnants of "the one"syndrome.

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"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:04 pm 
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How do I let go then ? :|

@Prodigy yeah lol that was overeacting..


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:10 pm 
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fufe wrote:
How do I let go then ? :|
By doing just that, LET GO!

Do this now. take up something, anything and drop it. That's letting go. Same thing in your mind. Kinda like when you forgive some one. It happened, OK, moving along now.

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"I'd rather have no bitch than a half a bitch" Iceberg Slim


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:20 pm 
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Show him via example...let fufe go...I am. :mrgreen:

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING. :ugeek:

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!


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 Post subject: Re: Wall
PostPosted: Mon Nov 26, 2012 10:32 pm 
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The Kidd!! wrote:
Show him via example...let fufe go...I am. :mrgreen:
:lol:

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"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn."
Alvin Toffler


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