Natural Freedom

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 11:58 pm 
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Thanks for the replies guys. Thought provoking and truthful post Flow.

What I'm feeling now is this feeling of contentness. Indifference as a lack of attatchment to the future, as it's all fine as is (or rather, I'm fine as is). Obviously improving myself is always the goal, but it's not this fucked up need - rather a direction that I want to steer myself in.

I'm starting to realize that people not thinking as highly of my as I should (and am starting to) of myself will, in 95% of all cases, simply be wrong. And that's cool. I won't seek out those types of people nor will I give any effort into our interactions, but I'm cool with it.
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Does this fear and expectation of people not liking you hinder you in other areas too (work, hobbies, family relationships, etc)? What would you do differently if you didn't have this fear?
I wanted to reply to this earlier and say that no, it doesn't. But I played football (soccer for you 'Mericans) today and played like shit until I realized that I went out to play to prove to others that I was indeed a good player and that I belonged on the field. Once I realized that after benching myself for a while, I came out and played well again. It does have an effect, but attatchment shows itself in different ways, even though it's basically the same thing in many cases. Same thing with school and everything else.

Another thing - rediscovering why I want to talk to girls in the first place was big. Obviously I'd like to fuck them. I'd also like to catch up my studying, cook myself a great meal and go work out as well. And I don't avert eye contact and ignore my chicken breast when I overcook it. It all feels..."meh, whatever". Seeing girls visibly jocking me leaves me with perhaps exactly this thought process "We'll see where this goes. Cool if it happens, not as cool if it doesn't but either way, I'm good and exerting myself simply isn't going to do anything, nor will it be worth it. So make a move if you want, or don't"

I look forward to seeing where this goes, but I'm gonna do me for a while and take a break from posting here. Many books I intend to read, pounds to add to every lift, get my conditioning up for soccer and movies to watch. Whatever happens along the way will happen.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 12:07 am 
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Bravo moose35

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 6:07 am 
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Just wanted to say :D

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:33 am 
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Location: The side of a mountain somewhere...
moose35 wrote:
I look forward to seeing where this goes, but I'm gonna do me for a while and take a break from posting here. Many books I intend to read, pounds to add to every lift, get my conditioning up for soccer and movies to watch. Whatever happens along the way will happen.
Right on. We'll catch you on the flip side. :ugeek:

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 10:45 pm 
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It's always darkest just before the dawn... that's how it was for me, and I'm sure a lot of others here too.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 1:22 pm 
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roark wrote:
Quote:
What I thought was indifference is actually me being apathetic. Apathy as a reaction to me having a deep and gigantic fear and expectation of people not liking me.

Don't you think you should at least congratulate yourself for having this realisation? Respect is due. Very few people self-observe.....
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And either I just stay quiet and keep to myself, even when I am genuinely curious about what is being said,
This is one of the wars i've been fighting too. I see examples of "pimp-tight" behaviour on this forum, "know" that this is how I should be, and sometimes act like it, WITH SOMETIMES DISASTEROUS RESULTS. After swallowing the red pill, I have realised that my next step is NOT to BECOME like the other guys on this forum, but find out how the discovery of the all-encompassing nature of the matrix relates to the man I was, the man I wanted to become before seeing the matrix, and the man I want to become now that I have seen it. I predict that I will NOT be like the Kidd!!, nor even like 'Grinus (even though his writing reminds me a lot of myself sometimes) - and I hope that I will not become who I WANT to be, but instead have faith that I will become THE MAN I TRULY AM ALREADY (think about this - if it still doesn't make sense, see Grinus' sig).

DON'T DESPAIR - you simply have internal decisions to make, and "inner-demon work" to do (instructions on this will be found all through this forum). I am going through this too, and can already see a faint light at the end of the tunnel.

.......followed by another tunnel, then another light, then another tunnel, etc....... :lol: :lol: :lol: We just deal with them as they turn up (and they do at the right time).
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I place way too much importance on feeling positive vibes from people, and get frustrated when I stay quiet and don't have people engaging me.
This happens to me too. A lot less, now that I know what it is. I could tell you what I have realised it is, but I would be cheating you. Everytime you feel this, look at the feeling and ask, why? What do I want? I find that I have to be hard on myself in order to find the answer, and then be gentle & forgiving with myself, once I do.
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I see men around me visibly initiating, trying and changing their mannerisms when a women walks in, and that they (the women) are responding to it. And I feel completely lost.
Why would you want to be like those guys? They will have to act like that for as long as they want to keep the chick. Can you imagine the effort? My shoulders ache just thinking about it......And if they get married to the woman and have to act like this THE REST OF THEIR LIVES? No thanks.......

The other guys are right to encourage us to forget about chicks for the time being, but maybe this will cheer you up: A lot of the guys here preach about NOT CHASING (it resonates with me, as a matter of fact, based on past experiences), and the latest is that recently I was told that a very impressive chick (looks AND brains) who I met at a party was asking about me after I left. The guy who told me is someone who I always grudgingly admired for years for the amount of chicks he has slept with. When he was describing her reaction to me, I could hear the amazement in his voice. As much pussy as he has gotten, I do not think he has EVER seen this reaction from a woman towards a man, not even him. The guys you are seeing DO NOT GET WOMEN. WOMEN GET THEM!!!!!!!!!
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Enjoying a simple day is rare because of all this bullshit surfacing from my mind and leading me down weird paths.
Two things:
Quote:
leading me down weird paths
Why not follow these paths? (do not get absorbed by them, just observe the thoughts - other sections of this forum, especially some posts by 'Grinus which I don't have the time to dig up now, go into this). See where they lead....
Quote:
Enjoying a simple day is rare
Unfortunately, you may have to get used to this. Let me explain....

I CANNOT GO OUT FOR ONE GODDAMNED PLEASANT AFTERNOON BY MYSELF WITHOUT SOME FUCKING CHICK JOCKING ME. IT IS NOW A PAIN IN THE ASS!!!!!
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I know that I should be the one to figure this out
You're right.
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I fear I've gotten hopelessly lost.
Correct, except for the hopeless part. Go inside your mind. You are the best company for yourself; not a girlfriend, not a "soulmate" (ugh!), not even your closest male friend, nor your parents - YOU ARE.

However, let me warn you - your inner demons will pop up after a while, and it may even be SCARY AS FUCK. What I am doing is remembering that I AM THE ONE WHO PUT THEM THERE (fear, shame, embarrassment, self loathing, hate, etc.) Personally, what I am doing is offering them the opportunity to come back up into the illuminated (conscious) parts of my mind, welcoming them back to a place at my dinner table so to speak, BECAUSE THAT IS WHERE THEY BELONG, AND DESERVE TO BE:

Come back home, fellas. We have work to do - TOGETHER (in other words, once integrated into the conscious parts of my mind, I figure these demons will give me far greater power; not just with women, but with my work, passions, etc.....)

To the other members of the forum, feel free to correct anything that you feel is mistaken. I am still a rookie.

Hope this helps, Moose. I have to go out now, and my internet has been sporadic lately, so I can't guarantee I can even reply to any questions you may have, but there are far more capable guys here who can help out....
peregrinus wrote:
Really nice post roark :geek:

To others: read that post multiple times, there are some gems in there to be seen.
Addendum to Grinus, I suggest you read (especially newcomers) all of roark's posts too. (otherwise I would also 'up' many threads like this one while reading them all ... :o )

So much for his clear explanations on his 'mindset change' than observations and comments to other posters.

Little search aid for beginners : roark's posts by ascending date, with 'all post' showing (not only first 300 words or so)

I salute you then Mr roark.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:58 pm 
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Humbly thanking you, GB.

It should be said that all my life, my subconscious (gut) has tried to guide me in this direction, but because I fought it I only ended up slightly outside the 'Matrix', instead of within it, bending the spoon. At best I always had a feeling of "there's something wrong as fuck here....."

I say that to say that it is really the writings of a certain Mr. Kidd!! and a certain Mr. 'Grinus that cemented these ideas and have given me the beginnings of a solid foundation - so much of the credit goes to them......

And yes, some of my posts are enlightening, but others are just a goddamned waste of time :lol: . Guess which ones were fueled by Flow's 'three letter word'? ;)

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"Temet Nosce"


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 1:53 am 
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roark wrote:
Humbly thanking you, GB.

It should be said that all my life, my subconscious (gut) has tried to guide me in this direction, but because I fought it I only ended up slightly outside the 'Matrix', instead of within it, bending the spoon. At best I always had a feeling of "there's something wrong as fuck here....."

I say that to say that it is really the writings of a certain Mr. Kidd!! and a certain Mr. 'Grinus that cemented these ideas and have given me the beginnings of a solid foundation - so much of the credit goes to them......

And yes, some of my posts are enlightening, but others are just a goddamned waste of time :lol: . Guess which ones were fueled by Flow's 'three letter word'? ;)
Ego? :lol:

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