Seeing things for what they really are often "lets go" of them by itself.

The women that 'screwed me up' merely exploited flaws already inherent within me at the time

and I have let my own experiences turn me jaded and suspicious of anything coming out of a woman's mouth

They did, but the way you're talking is letting them off the hook like they had no choice, I don't let bitches off the hook, you shouldn't either.

They did, but the way you're talking is letting them off the hook like they had no choice, I don't let bitches off the hook, you shouldn't either.

I know what you mean, due to too much TV and other BS programs- I thought that women are all nice and sweet, only want 'love' and will never screw ME over. it was a big shock to find out that they are far from the image I used to think.

As Star pointed out:If a man screwed ME over I wouldn't give him a free pass, so why do I with women?

I shouldn't treat women any different than I treat other Men.

Sniper, I definitely didn't grow up believing women were 'perfect' would never screw me over, if anything I grew up expecting them to do just that, it started with my mom and the rest is history, but that just reveals a similar problem we both have: irrelevant projection...in your case you project your experiences onto that of other men, viewing yourself as a collective.

I just believed the ones I got involved would never exercise that capacity because I held them to a higher standard, or rather I put therm on a pedestal they did not deserve, it took me a long time to realize none of them deserve it. At the same time though there are some 'nice' ones out there (however you guys choose to define that), far from perfect but nevertheless tolerable, and that if there are some positive experiences to have then I should give it a chance.

My previous experience before my current relationship has left me with a bitter taste in my mouth, but if I stay angry at this previous bitch and turn into an unnecessary asshole because I expect all women act like she did, then she still has power over me. In this way perhaps I can appease my ego as well by reminding myself that if I don't get over that old shit and move on, then she's won and if she knew she screwed me up this much she'd get off on that.

So I have to allay some (not all) of my doubt in order to heal, and I have to recognize the differences in each situation that went sour, they may be just as relevant as the similarities. As well as being brutally honest with myself and recognizing where I fucked up, and being honest with myself right now I beat myself up too much for past mistakes and I can see now how it's affected my confidence over the years.

This doesn't mean I don't keep an eye out for bullshit, but I'm not gonna look for it when it isn't there.

Keep a sharp eye but don't be miserable, I get it.

But I still have much to learn about balance.

And also my focus is on how I lacked the foresight to get fucked over in the first place and let their bullshit slip under my radar, not so much on the actions of these women. I'm still finding it difficult to forgive myself for these mistakes.

I'm not a symp anymore and I don't behave as such, so there's no real reason why it should happen again as a fault of mine, then again women do whatever they're gonna do, so the answer is simple.