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Getting closer to indifference
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Author:  fufe [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 1:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Getting closer to indifference
Lately I've been practicing to be as much indifferent as I can - For long time belief "If you can't be 100% indifferent, it's not going to be any different" has been a burden to me. I let it go, I told myself that I'm going to try it (Even knowing there's no trying, just doing) so I tried to let go, not being attached.. It took couple days and I experienced my little breakthrough - I wasn't that much attached to how everything works out, I didn't worry, no emotional high-lows etc.. And it's getting betting as time goes by
I feel bad sometimes sure.. But it's not that bad now. I experienced today that sex is truly not a need at all - I knew it intellectually but I just somehow got it in a different more profound way.

Now, I know that I'm still attached to many things but I know this stuff won't change in one day, so I give myself time.. In the meantime I do what I have to do and I have fun (I play poker practically as much as I can, I learned stud, razz, omaha...)

I learned the most watching my thoughts creating the attachments... I don't really get attached in the moments, mostly inside my head

So: To anybody new, don't pressure youself in getting everything perfect in one go, it's not possible and nobody will kill you for not being 100% indifferent etc :geek:
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 6:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
You don't practice being indifferent...you just BECOME indifferent. :ugeek:
Author:  Star_Above [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 6:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
Like shitliger said, you can't "practice" being indifferent, you have to have the right beliefs that will cause indifference then it will happen naturally.
Author:  Slim Titan [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
You know man there's so many ways to play this game.

I remember, I told this bitch: "when am I going to hit."

She was fronting on me and wanted to just keep texting instead of being real and getting available.

I forgot about her and then checked her when she got mad that I wasn't texting her.

She basically told me some shit about what I said being shady.

The last text message I sent: "I still want you."

Now it's been over a month later. Bitch called me up last night and left a voicemail saying she just wanted to see what I

was doing. She wished me to have a good night.

Indifference is really knowing what you want and just not letting the obstacles to that shit affect you.

It works the same way with a woman that's choosing you as much as it does with business, men, and personal life.

I have another story, but it's too long to post.
Author:  fufe [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 7:14 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
rkd1990 wrote:
You know man there's so many ways to play this game.

I remember, I told this bitch: "when am I going to hit."

She was fronting on me and wanted to just keep texting instead of being real and getting available.

I forgot about her and then checked her when she got mad that I wasn't texting her.

She basically told me some shit about what I said being shady.

The last text message I sent: "I still want you."

Now it's been over a month later. Bitch called me up last night and left a voicemail saying she just wanted to see what I

was doing. She wished me to have a good night.

Indifference is really knowing what you want and just not letting the obstacles to that shit affect you.

It works the same way with a woman that's choosing you as much as it does with business, men, and personal life.

I have another story, but it's too long to post.
Interesting, I always thought our way of seeing things is very different, now I'm really seeing maybe not that much..
Author:  Star_Above [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
rkd1990 wrote:
I remember, I told this bitch: "when am I going to hit."
Dude I love your attitude, it reminds me of me :D but this is the worst possible thing you can ever say to a girl to fuck her, it creates no space for her to fill and shifts things to her having the power....she already has you so there's no need to fuck you because she already got her ego boost by you wanting to fuck her. Every time I've said something similar to this in the past it's ALWAYS been met with "Sorry, busy for the next few days" blah blah (When she wasn't but wanted to string me along for the ego factor) EVERYTIME. Which is why I'm so down on mode one and anything else "direct".

Great quote from 'G:

"On another slant:
Femininity loves to fill space, it will take any gap you let exist and fill it. If you leave no gap then there is nothing for them to fill.

How can they fill a space if you are already filling it?"
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
Star_Above wrote:
rkd1990 wrote:
I remember, I told this bitch: "when am I going to hit."
Dude I love your attitude, it reminds me of me :D but this is the worst possible thing you can ever say to a girl to fuck her, it creates no space for her to fill and shifts things to her having the power....she already has you so there's no need to fuck you because she already got her ego boost by you wanting to fuck her. Every time I've said something similar to this in the past it's ALWAYS been met with "Sorry, busy for the next few days" blah blah (When she wasn't but wanted to string me along for the ego factor) EVERYTIME. Which is why I'm so down on mode one and anything else "direct".

Great quote from 'G:

"On another slant:
Femininity loves to fill space, it will take any gap you let exist and fill it. If you leave no gap then there is nothing for them to fill.

How can they fill a space if you are already filling it?"
The ShitCatepillar is correct. :geek:

If I ever say anything close to that, it's usually because I really don't care wether I fuck or not and REALLY leanin towards 'I would prefer not to'...so then I say it just to let them think they have a chance and are in control...what this actually does it keep them from trying to fuck me, which in some situations, comes in quite handy. :mrgreen:
Author:  Sai [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
Star_Above wrote:
rkd1990 wrote:
I remember, I told this bitch: "when am I going to hit."
Dude I love your attitude, it reminds me of me :D but this is the worst possible thing you can ever say to a girl to fuck her, it creates no space for her to fill and shifts things to her having the power....she already has you so there's no need to fuck you because she already got her ego boost by you wanting to fuck her. Every time I've said something similar to this in the past it's ALWAYS been met with "Sorry, busy for the next few days" blah blah (When she wasn't but wanted to string me along for the ego factor) EVERYTIME. Which is why I'm so down on mode one and anything else "direct".
:geek: true words star. Asking a bitch "when" you gonna hit is handing her the strings to puppet you. That's giving her control of space and time (my favorite technique :mrgreen: ) a bitch is more intrigued when she assumes what your intentions with her are.

Fufe, when you begin to see how futile(pointless) some things are, then you will start stop giving two fucks about what the happenings are ;) if you want, check out the book Ecclesiastes in the old testaments of the Bible.
Author:  Slim Titan [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 8:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
fufe wrote:
rkd1990 wrote:
You know man there's so many ways to play this game.

I remember, I told this bitch: "when am I going to hit."

She was fronting on me and wanted to just keep texting instead of being real and getting available.

I forgot about her and then checked her when she got mad that I wasn't texting her.

She basically told me some shit about what I said being shady.

The last text message I sent: "I still want you."

Now it's been over a month later. Bitch called me up last night and left a voicemail saying she just wanted to see what I

was doing. She wished me to have a good night.

Indifference is really knowing what you want and just not letting the obstacles to that shit affect you.

It works the same way with a woman that's choosing you as much as it does with business, men, and personal life.

I have another story, but it's too long to post.
Interesting, I always thought our way of seeing things is very different, now I'm really seeing maybe not that much..
How do you think? I did that shit for a specific purpose.
Star_Above wrote:
rkd1990 wrote:
I remember, I told this bitch: "when am I going to hit."
Dude I love your attitude, it reminds me of me :D but this is the worst possible thing you can ever say to a girl to fuck her, it creates no space for her to fill and shifts things to her having the power....she already has you so there's no need to fuck you because she already got her ego boost by you wanting to fuck her. Every time I've said something similar to this in the past it's ALWAYS been met with "Sorry, busy for the next few days" blah blah (When she wasn't but wanted to string me along for the ego factor) EVERYTIME. Which is why I'm so down on mode one and anything else "direct".
See the above. I was making a point that you can play this game anyway you want. I was just showing him how indifference can work while you're still going after what you want.

Here's the thing man. I agree with you about the direct thing. I let her know that I was about to go hang out with some friends and handle some personal business. She got mad. I checked her ass letting her know that I have a life. Then I let her know that I still want her so she knew I wasn't bullshitting and had a shot with me. After that I gave her sooooo much space.


Also, my main reason for doing that shit was because I wasn't going to be in that city much longer and didn't give a fuck if I fucked.

Normally, I'm totally about repressing everything that deals with sex to build sexual desire in the woman.

Truth be told, I think what's she's doing is an ego game, and I'm not going to be a part of it. If she calls two or three more times then I'll take the bait and drop the bomb that I'm leaving the country. I'll let her know that she can possibly see me in December, and
that she better make it worth my time since she acted so shitty.

Edit:

@ Fufe

The moral of the story that I was trying to communicate is that: "When a person's actions are not inline with reciprocation you should get on with your life."

It doesn't mean you can't go for things.
Author:  fufe [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 1:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
Quote:
@ Fufe

The moral of the story that I was trying to communicate is that: "When a person's actions are not inline with reciprocation you should get on with your life."

It doesn't mean you can't go for things.
I'd like to know... How much am I allowed to want something ? Because it seems it me, at the very moment I start to care a little, everything fucks up, or at least it seems to me that way.. And don't tell me I have to be 100% indifferent and don't care even a little, I see numerous dudes caring tons of times more than I do and they still get what they want..
Author:  Dali [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 2:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
fufe wrote:
Quote:
@ Fufe

The moral of the story that I was trying to communicate is that: "When a person's actions are not inline with reciprocation you should get on with your life."

It doesn't mean you can't go for things.
I'd like to know... How much am I allowed to want something ? Because it seems it me, at the very moment I start to care a little, everything fucks up, or at least it seems to me that way.. And don't tell me I have to be 100% indifferent and don't care even a little, I see numerous dudes caring tons of times more than I do and they still get what they want..
I know this feeling very well fufe, but I know we're not there yet. I used to think that some participation is necesary from my part when "moving forward an interaction", but the results shows as you say, fucked up. Like game over and shit. :lol:

I confess this is a tricky part that I don't decipher yet, or can let go off properly. For me is a very counter intuitive shit.
Example: Girl showing all the sings, touching me, flirting with me, asking my brother for me, being nervous around me... And when I think it's my turn, boom HEAD SHOT MOTHERFUCKER!!
Counterproductive one if we "try to push forward a little bit ".

What I've been seeing all the time in front of me, is this:

Space is space, that's what's bitches got attracted to in the first place. I think there's not a middle ground around this concept, (like the shades of grey thing). Call it: Black or white, space or filling space. Why we're not there yet? because we choose so... ... Time to let go. And even when re-appears, it's time to DIG DEEP.

That's what I been doing, I don't even know if this will work. (Sorta tired you know?) :oops:
Without sounding victimized; I guess I have to take a leap of faith in this one.
Author:  fufe [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 2:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
Dali wrote:
fufe wrote:
Quote:
@ Fufe

The moral of the story that I was trying to communicate is that: "When a person's actions are not inline with reciprocation you should get on with your life."

It doesn't mean you can't go for things.
I'd like to know... How much am I allowed to want something ? Because it seems it me, at the very moment I start to care a little, everything fucks up, or at least it seems to me that way.. And don't tell me I have to be 100% indifferent and don't care even a little, I see numerous dudes caring tons of times more than I do and they still get what they want..
I know very well this feeling fufe, but I know we're not there yet. I used to think that some participation is necesary from my part when "moving forward an interaction", but the results shows as you say, fucked up. Like game over and shit. :lol:

I confess this is a tricky part that I don't decipher yet, or can let go off properly. For me is a very counter intuitive shit.
Example: Girl showing all the sings, touching me, flirting with me, asking my brother for me, being nervous around me... And when I think it's my turn, boom HEAD SHOT MOTHERFUCKER!!
Counterproductive one if we "try to push forward a little bit ".

What I've been seeing all the time in front of me, is this:

Space is space, that's what's bitches got attracted to in the first place. I think there's not a middle ground around this concept, (like the shades of grey thing). Call it: Black or white, space or filling space. Why we're not there yet? because we choose so... ... Time to let go. And even when re-appears, it's time to DIG DEEP.

That's what I been doing, I don't even know if this will work. (Sorta tired you know?) :oops:
Without sounding victimized; I guess I have to take a leap of faith in this one.
The point is Im getting really, really tired seeing dudes who just go for it get the girls I like.. It's powering up my doubts
Sometimes I hate my emotional swings. It's hard being a man when I'm so emotional, I envy you guys your more logical mind
And I care about relationships too much to do this properly, I don't see how to make it my advantage
No matter how much positive experiences I get, I can't stop my doubts as you guys probably figured out already.. Everytime I have to make a decision, my mind floods with tons of doubts and I can't decide logically at all
Author:  Slim Titan [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 6:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
fufe wrote:

The point is Im getting really, really tired seeing dudes who just go for it get the girls I like.. It's powering up my doubts
Sometimes I hate my emotional swings. It's hard being a man when I'm so emotional, I envy you guys your more logical mind
And I care about relationships too much to do this properly, I don't see how to make it my advantage
No matter how much positive experiences I get, I can't stop my doubts as you guys probably figured out already.. Everytime I have to make a decision, my mind floods with tons of doubts and I can't decide logically at all
Homie, I just told you exactly how indifference works.

Indifference is happiness and personal freedom and not caring. When shits interferes with that shit then you just get moving.

90% of the time that interference occurs because shit is not inline with reciprocation.

Those guys that get the girls and care a lot are getting reciprocation. Also, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY WENT THROUGH TO GET THAT GIRL.
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 7:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
Trust me fufe...those guys don't have those girls...those girls have those guys. Know the difference. :ugeek:
Author:  Dali [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 7:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
rkd1990 wrote:
fufe wrote:

The point is Im getting really, really tired seeing dudes who just go for it get the girls I like.. It's powering up my doubts
Sometimes I hate my emotional swings. It's hard being a man when I'm so emotional, I envy you guys your more logical mind
And I care about relationships too much to do this properly, I don't see how to make it my advantage
No matter how much positive experiences I get, I can't stop my doubts as you guys probably figured out already.. Everytime I have to make a decision, my mind floods with tons of doubts and I can't decide logically at all
Homie, I just told you exactly how indifference works.

Indifference is happiness and personal freedom and not caring. When shits interferes with that shit then you just get moving.

90% of the time that interference occurs because shit is not inline with reciprocation.

Those guys that get the girls and care a lot are getting reciprocation. Also, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY WENT THROUGH TO GET THAT GIRL.
@fufe:

And for the last thing rkd mentioned*, regurgitating his words below. It's very important concept to often keep in mind in order to prevent envy or jealously from your part.

* First we don't know how deep the level of emotional investment this guys made over that girls that they're getting. And for what, a slave of the puss? Second; or maybe not, but more shure the first one. I know how to identify guys in the second category, and trust me this mofos are rare. Like the old ones in this forums.
Author:  fufe [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 8:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
@Kidd, Dali

Ok, I can understand that.. I just have to accept it... It's hard since it's half year since I've had anything
rkd1990 wrote:
fufe wrote:


90% of the time that interference occurs because shit is not inline with reciprocation.

Those guys that get the girls and care a lot are getting reciprocation. Also, YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT THEY WENT THROUGH TO GET THAT GIRL.
I don't understand the word reciprocation, I never hear it really, can you please just define it for me ?
Author:  Slim Titan [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 9:11 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
reciprocation is just the amount of effort that someone is putting into the situation.

If they aren't putting in any effort then it's not in line with reciprocation.

Edit: That's why getting with women that take the initiative is better than chasing some pussy. The women who take the initiative are more likely to stay in line with reciprocation than those that don't take the initiative. There always is a middle between the shit.
Sometimes you'll talk to women first that put in more effort than you. You just have to know how to identify them.
Author:  fufe [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 9:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
rkd1990 wrote:
reciprocation is just the amount of effort that someone is putting into the situation.

If they aren't putting in any effort then it's not in line with reciprocation.
That cleared up all my conffusion, thanks.

You are not the arrogant idiot I thought you are ! :mrgreen: :geek:

btw Kidd you were right again, life doesn't give a slighest fuck about what you want
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 9:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
Quote:
btw Kidd you were right again, life doesn't give a slighest fuck about what you want
Being right is kind of my thing. ;)
Author:  fufe [ Fri Jul 20, 2012 9:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Getting closer to indifference
The Kidd!! wrote:
Quote:
btw Kidd you were right again, life doesn't give a slighest fuck about what you want
Being right is kind of my thing. ;)
So what do I do, do I have to be happy with something I don't want really, if I can't get what I want ?
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