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indifference at last
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Author:  Sniper [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:39 pm ]
Post subject:  indifference at last
wow I never thought it would happen and it took some time but I'm finally indifferent to women and sex. I can still enjoy women and sex but I don't NEED it anymore.

I don't think there is a need to write how I got there cause it was all mentioned in other posts, but I can write a post which will be like a journal if anyone is interested. I think most of you already 'got it' but I'd be happy to clarify things if someone wants to.

I'd never thought I could reach this point but finally it happened.

thank you Kidd, Grinus and everyone else here who gave me help and support while I was having a rough time (special thanks to Grinus who helped me see things in a different light on topics in which
'The Kidd' did not want to touch or talk about but of course Kidd has helped me so much as well- so that doesn't mean that he deserves or gets less credit in my book).

Now notice that my indifference did not come from a place of getting sex with many women on a regular basis, and also: my front and clout has not changed much in the last month.

something just 'clicked', sometimes it's hard to explain in words but if anyone wants to I can try...



[ img ]
Author:  AlexJ [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
Yes, I'd appreciate a journal that you mention. Maybe PM it to me if no one else is interested. I struggle with understanding the difference between apathy vs indifference.
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 3:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
Apathy = I don't care.
Indifference = I'm not attached to the outcome.

:ugeek:
Author:  Aragorn [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 6:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
Really good to read topics like this, hopefully this is something all of us can achieve.
Author:  Aragorn [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 6:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
The Kidd!! wrote:
Apathy = I don't care.
Indifference = I'm not attached to the outcome.

:ugeek:
And that is really hard for me to master too. Often times I find myself just sitting and honestly not caring about anything, but that's a big difference compared to not being attached to the outcome. If anybody has experience with figuring out the difference I'd love to hear it, cause it gets confusing for me as well.
Author:  AlexJ [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
@moose35 my struggle is also with the feelings of apathy vs indifference. for the longest time whenever I heard the term indifference I though it meant I don't care.

Nice avatar, I'm a huge NBA fan.
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 8:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
I reaaaalllllllly couldn't have put it any plainer, fellas. :geek:
Author:  Sniper [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
The Kidd!! wrote:
Apathy = I don't care.
Indifference = I'm not attached to the outcome.

:ugeek:
^^ this means:

take a scenario: a party full of people... in that party you have two dudes:

one dude is apathetic, he will just sit all alone not giving a shit about anyone or anything, he will talk to people who talk to him but still he doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything.
Result: this dude will have a lot of misery in his life. He won't have much social connections or real friendships, he will never get excited about people or other things - which is kind of a depressing way to live.

the second dude is indifferent, he will have a good time, engage in conversations with people who share the same core values as him, he will be happy to make new friends and stay in contact with the people he met (who share the same core values as him) but he will not be needy about it- which means that even if those people don't want to be his friends- it's ok, no worries. He still had a good time talking to them at the party and exchanging ideas with them.

He enjoys interactions and can get excited about people or other things but at the same time: he is not afraid of losing people or things because he understands how everything is.
He lives in the moment, enjoys people and things but he is not attached to them so he doesn't live in fear of losing them.

I hope this helps....
Author:  Aragorn [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 10:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
Sniper wrote:
The Kidd!! wrote:
Apathy = I don't care.
Indifference = I'm not attached to the outcome.

:ugeek:
^^ this means:

take a scenario: a party full of people... in that party you have two dudes:

one dude is apathetic, he will just sit all alone not giving a shit about anyone or anything, he will talk to people who talk to him but still he doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything.
Result: this dude will have a lot of misery in his life. He won't have much social connections or real friendships, he will never get excited about people or other things - which is kind of a depressing way to live.

the second dude is indifferent, he will have a good time, engage in conversations with people who share the same core values as him, he will be happy to make new friends and stay in contact with the people he met (who share the same core values as him) but he will not be needy about it- which means that even if those people don't want to be his friends- it's ok, no worries. He still had a good time talking to them at the party and exchanging ideas with them.

He enjoys interactions and can get excited about people or other things but at the same time: he is not afraid of losing people or things because he understands how everything is.
He lives in the moment, enjoys people and things but he is not attached to them so he doesn't live in fear of losing them.

I hope this helps....
Excellent, thanks a lot :ugeek:
Author:  Sniper [ Tue Mar 20, 2012 10:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
Also note that I didn't say I'm a Buddha and that I'm indifferent to everything in life...
for example: If I don't finish school with decent grades it will bother me :cry: because I want to have the option to continue my studies further (after the BA) if I choose to...
Author:  Dali [ Wed Mar 21, 2012 6:58 am ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
Haa! I'm Apathyc most of the time, what sick a joke.

:(
Author:  GoldenBoy [ Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
Then I'm apathetic ... (but I don't care ... :) )

You say :
Quote:
the second dude is indifferent, he will have a good time, engage in conversations with people who share the same core values as him, he will be happy to make new friends and stay in contact with the people he met (who share the same core values as him) but he will not be needy about it- which means that even if those people don't want to be his friends- it's ok, no worries. He still had a good time talking to them at the party and exchanging ideas with them.

He enjoys interactions and can get excited about people or other things but at the same time: he is not afraid of losing people or things because he understands how everything is.
He lives in the moment, enjoys people and things but he is not attached to them so he doesn't live in fear of losing them.
What does he want out of these interactions ?
How does he know who shares the same core values ? (He speaks to every people he thinks could share them and excuse himself when they don't ? seems time consuming)
Quote:
one dude is apathetic, he will just sit all alone not giving a shit about anyone or anything, he will talk to people who talk to him but still he doesn't give a shit about anyone or anything.
Result: this dude will have a lot of misery in his life. He won't have much social connections or real friendships, he will never get excited about people or other things - which is kind of a depressing way to live.
Now if the description is correct, the 'misery in his life' and 'depressing way to live' are more likely your projections on this kind of guy. (because you see apathy as 'bad')

If he doesn't give a shit, he just doesn't give a shit.
If he's afraid of talking, of making new friends, of opening up to others, then yeah he could be depressed.

Maybe it's the difference between an extrovert guy (who likes to speak) and an introvert guy (who prefers quiet) rather than a different kind of emotion.

If apathy's bad, what's the cure ?
Feigning interests in other people's lives if you don't ?
REALLY having interests in other people's lives ?
Meeting people with the same core values as you and ignoring those who don't ?
'Always talking to strangers' (Wygant's way) ?

Isn't it possible to be apathetic when there's nobody around, but indifferent when dealing with people ? ;) (meaning not going to every party, every gathering of people just to meet some, but when you meet someone in your day, being indifferent to the outcome)

Why does it have to be one or the other ?
Quote:
Haa! I'm Apathyc most of the time
That's the grey area :D
Author:  Dali [ Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
I really don't know if I am indifferent or apahtyc, and as Goldeboy says, who cares?... I tend to migrate to both sides of the pond frecuently.
One thing I noticed is that I tend to fantazie a lot about everything, and then run stupid and wild scenarios in my mind a lot.

Following the context of the "Cameron thread"... I notice bitches jocking me very subtle in the gym, but I really don't care... More than often than not, I tend to discourage them with my eye contact just for fun, and the more I do it, the more that they re-spawn. Like in the nintendo games, go the end right or left screen then move, *le wild enemy appear* one screen, then go left and again to the right and there you have: a new hoe appears, (or the same one)

Add to that, a very high dosis of melancholic & staunch temperament.

Only a reference.
Don't get stuck on definitions by other dudes, they're only are signposts of contextualized events.
Author:  Sniper [ Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
@GoldenBoy and Dali

I gave the story as one example- it's not black and white. There are loads of varieties and scenarios to everything and every person is different. Brent for example loves going to clubs and talking to everyone (that's what he calls 'being the mayor')- that's how he likes to do things... Me personally- I don't do it cause it's not my style. If I'm at a house party for example, I talk to people in which I find interesting but I don't talk to everyone. How do I know which ones are intresting to Me?

I use observations and intuition (since I have a strong intuition about people, that's an edge I use when it comes to social interactions). If I start talking to the person and see that my intuition was wrong- I stop talking to him.

Your way of doing things might be different than mine or Bren't, the point is: it all comes down to personal style. Don't use my example as a 'manual'.

Now, finding people who share the same core values is when you want to develop strong friendships. Not all friendships are 'strong'. Example: I have a few friends from my work place that we don't share the same core values- but still: we hang out sometimes, drink beer and laugh about stuff. I enjoy their company and hanging out with them, but I know that a strong friendship will not happen with them.


@Dali, if you 'think' you are apathetic and it makes you feel good- that's awesome.
I think you are not really apathetic- apathetic people from what I have seen are not happy people. Judging from your posts here you don't seem like an 'apathetic' person to me. 8-)

*There was a guy here who we kicked out (I won't mention his name), he was very apathetic and unhappy - it was all over his posts.

But the words, definitions and psychology terms are really irrelevant. If you feel good that's what's important, and then call it whatever you want: apathetic, indifferent, not giving a fuck, gay (joke :D )
Author:  Dali [ Wed Mar 21, 2012 8:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
Sniper wrote:
@GoldenBoy and Dali

I gave the story as one example- it's not black and white. There are loads of varieties and scenarios to everything and every person is different. Brent for example loves going to clubs and talking to everyone (that's what he calls 'being the mayor')- that's how he likes to do things... Me personally- I don't do it cause it's not my style. If I'm at a house party for example, I talk to people in which I find interesting but I don't talk to everyone. How do I know which ones are intresting to Me?

I use observations and intuition (since I have a strong intuition about people, that's an edge I use when it comes to social interactions). If I start talking to the person and see that my intuition was wrong- I stop talking to him.

Your way of doing things might be different than mine or Bren't, the point is: it all comes down to personal style. Don't use my example as a 'manual'.

Now, finding people who share the same core values is when you want to develop strong friendships. Not all friendships are 'strong'. Example: I have a few friends from my work place that we don't share the same core values- but still: we hang out sometimes, drink beer and laugh about stuff. I enjoy their company and hanging out with them, but I know that a strong friendship will not happen with them.


@Dali, if you 'think' you are apathetic and it makes you feel good- that's awesome.
I think you are not really apathetic- apathetic people from what I have seen are not happy people. Judging from your posts here you don't seem like an 'apathetic' person to me. 8-)

*There was a guy here who we kicked out (I won't mention his name), he was very apathetic and unhappy - it was all over his posts.

But the words, definitions and psychology terms are really irrelevant. If you feel good that's what's important, and then call it whatever you want: apathetic, indifferent, not giving a fuck, gay (joke :D )
@gay (joke :D) issue:
Hmmm, If you call me gay just because in some posts I shared some vulnerability issue I considered good for the sake of the illustrative context of post, or that I'm having fun turning hoes down (just to see her faces and wonder if I'm gay or what) *playing the mystery card* well, I fantazie alot about hoes too, but stopped pretending I don't like them (this tend to frustrate them more) I think they do the same thing about me, I'm indifferent of the images my brain uses and invokes about shit, and I'm only guessing the later.
Disregard females, acquire currency. In the gym environment this works well, and I guess that in any context that have that kind of male-female unbalanced ratio. Also tests your patience levels. :geek:

@Feels good:
And I'm aware of the punishment reward system (dopamine) the brain uses as a carrot to get me into to action, I do this this because is what I want to become, I make the neocortex the major, not the primal brain the ruler, so I have to be to myself certaing way and do certain things that are placed into that neocortian space (counter intuitive things) that get me rolling.

xD (What a fearful scumbag I am)

What does that make me? :lol:
Author:  Sniper [ Wed Mar 21, 2012 9:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
Dali wrote:
What does that make me? :lol:
A smooth Pimp 8-)


[ img ]
Author:  Dali [ Wed Mar 21, 2012 10:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
Sniper wrote:
Dali wrote:
What does that make me? :lol:
A smooth Pimp 8-)


[ img ]
Hahaha :D

I WISH!
Author:  peregrinus [ Thu Mar 22, 2012 5:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
Sniper wrote:
I gave the story as one example- it's not black and white. There are loads of varieties and scenarios to everything and every person is different.
Woah!

[goes off to check again who posted this]

Now this sounds like progress.
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
peregrinus wrote:
Sniper wrote:
I gave the story as one example- it's not black and white. There are loads of varieties and scenarios to everything and every person is different.
Woah!

[goes off to check again who posted this]

Now this sounds like progress.
Haha I know right?!? Glad all that head bashin' wasn't for naught. 8-)
Author:  The Heart [ Fri Mar 23, 2012 2:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: indifference at last
Knowing the difference between apathy and indifference is the easy part. Actually feeling indifferent is so very hard. As soon a girl shows signs of interest I feel like I don't want to lose her now. I know those feelings are illogical. It's still hard to feel indifferent after that.
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