you are talking about apaty, tha's not indifference

Read the ice-cream analogy :

http://stopgivingafuck.com/blog/index.p ... /#more-230

“You know what, it would be really cool if I had some ice cream right now.”

Now begin to look at women and your sex life as just ice cream…. “You know it would be really cool if I went out tonight and met a really cool chick and we clicked and hooked up tonight, that would be so cool. If it doesn’t happen, that’s ok, it would just be really cool if it did.”

So here we see how “wanting” isn’t bad.

If you see an attractive woman and want to go talk to her, then go talk to her

You know it would be really cool if
So here we see how “wanting” isn’t bad.
let go of needing

All indifference is...is that you truly don't care if it happens or not. You are not attached to the outcome. If I go out to a nightclub, and it's getting late and I haven't gotten a single phone number yet, I wouldn't feel panicked like I need to kick it into high gear and make something happen or else going out that night was a waste of time. I just leave and take my ass to sleep...no stress, no anxiety, no pressure.

Or, let's say a woman wants to fuck me. Most guys would be chomping at the bit trying to get her over to the house before she 'changes her mind'. Me? We'll get around to it when we get around to it...no rush. She's the one missing out, not me.

I tend to think of this as : her teasing herself.

She is building up all the anticipation and excitement within HERSELF.

If she thinks she is teasing me, she is sorely mistaken, she is teasing herself. She is the one who will be chomping at the bit.

More often that not she will also start to wonder why you are not chomping at the bit (e.g. He must be getting it somewhere else?) and will want to prove to you that you should be.

not attached to the outcome.
I wouldn't feel panicked like I need to kick it into high gear and make something happen or else going out that night was a waste of time.
no stress, no anxiety, no pressure.

Most guys would be chomping at the bit trying to get her over to the house before she 'changes her mind'.
Me? We'll get around to it when we get around to it...no rush.

THIS is what indifference means to ME.

I enjoy spending time with women AND I am not attached to the outcome with any particular one.

I have posted before that I could quite happily live the rest of my life without a woman or sex.
I have also posted that I enjoy spending time with women and sex.

Is it so difficult to believe that these two states of mind can co-exist? Do you somehow think they are mutually exclusive?

More often that not she will also start to wonder why you are not chomping at the bit and will want to prove to you that you should be.

This example is defenately a display of a guy, of having indifference towards the outcome of sex happening. I guess a person/guy can only pull it off when he's: content/happy already, he doesn't overvalue what the outcome brings him, he has (just as) enjoybale things to do as a substitute for sex with her?

It's not about 'pulling it off'.....in this mindset other things in life are enjoyable on their own, sex is lower on the priority list so there's no need to perceive hobbies etc. as a substitution for sex, but actually viewing sex as just another one of those enjoyable things, I dunno if this makes much sense to you now but this is a valuable lesson I learned from Kidd.

Indifference is not something one does to acquire a result [from someone else] it's something you acquire after much inner work.

Indifference isn't so much a goal as it is a side effect.

Being Happy in yourself.
Being comfortable in your own skin.
Having confidence in yourself.
Having interests not connected to her (NOTE: she might also have them, this is NOT why you have them though).
Knowing you are of value and you have value to give.
Being 'radically honest' - saying what you mean without censoring/editing it.
Having boundaries and sticking to them.
Being emotionally strong. (Having emotions and KNOWING how to deal with them - healthily)
Giving her space to be herself and express herself.
Giving her the space to seduce herself and you.


Not 'needing' her.
Not seeking approval from her.
Not trying to get anything from her (manipulation).
Not owning every little emotion she feels.
Not allowing her to manipulate YOU. (The games girls play)
Not getting hung up on every little thing she says. (see above section)

@peregrinus
indifference is a side-effect of:

I enjoy spending time with women AND I am not attached to the outcome with any particular one.

I have posted that I enjoy spending time with women and sex.
I have also posted before that I could quite happily live the rest of my life without a woman or sex.

And since he goes in with a low level/intensity of "want"
He comes out of it as a side affect, with an indifference towards the outcome.
I bet if he went in with a high level of want, like: I want this very much, or I need this, etc.. The side affect would then not be that he das indifference towards the outcome. Probably more the opposite, a strong attachement to the outcome.

As I read it.
I seem to notice he goes in of it/starts of. With a low level of want for it. Like he stated: "I enjoy". And he doesn't use words that would imply a stronger level of (initial) "want", words like for instance: "I desire" or "I need" or "I want very much to".

This is another subject like 'letting go' that gets overcomplicated.

'I'm fine either way'