Natural Freedom

I'm still working on this aspect. I've always been naturally quiet and growing up I always felt pressured to fill in that awkward silence. After a couple of years that silence was no longer awkward for me. So basically now I only say the things I feel I need to say, which sometimes isn't a lot. I used to push a lot of my interactions with women, thinking that if I wasn't talking then it was wrong. Bottom line, I'm not a talkative person. I'm not unfriendly, just not that talkative.

I guess this is more directed towards Peregrinus. I am perfectly content being by myself which does not put me in a frame of mind to seek or pursue. However, I've found that maybe the space I create is too much. Is this possible? As I've said through the years I've learned to accept my nature and who I am, I am different which makes some people uncomfortable I guess. Before I even heard the concept of space I've always felt that everything is more natural when women came to me or when I let the interaction unfold instead of controlling where it went. I've found more often than not those attempts to fill the space only created more problems.

Somehow I mised this post, apologies.
This in my view is an important step.

A lot of men (and women) cannot deal with the 'pressure' of silence, hence they feel they have to fill it with something.

This is why it makes them uncomfortable, together with, if you are giving nothing out (pushing out) then the only thing there is to fill the space is themselves and a lot of people really dont like looking at themselves, which is why they are so uncomfortable with space and the whole idea. Good, this sounds like acceptance
I spend quite a bit of time in this space, until something wakes me up.. A look, a smile, a few words, something physical, an observation, many things.
It is a good space of mind for observing the world.
It can be, depends on the people you are with.

I know some people who will fill up every spare part of any space I give them.
I also know some people who only like a little bit of space.
To a large degree how much space they like around them tells you a lot about them.

Personally, I would say you cannot create too much.

Then I have to admit that it also depends on the situation, if you are looking to meet someone who has come on your radar and you will only see her that day and she is indecisive, then giving her tons of space is unlikely to result in you two meeting. Sometimes you have to shrink the space a bit also, give her a branch to grab onto, or 'throw a rope to her' - if she decides to grab on, then fair enough, if not then fair enough.

This is the same for a lot of social situations.
This is a good observation.
Things flow more easily, more naturally as you say, because it is more natural.
In my view, this is because you are taking away the space for them.
This is very counterproductive to the whole concept of space, in my view.

You cannot both create space and fill it all. It is like trying to empty a glass of water while still pouring water into it.


Good questions freespirit

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

THIS !!!

I always wondered about it because I run into theses situations a lot and there times creating space works but then the girl takes it as me not being interested, the situations are hard to guage at times so I never know what to do I guess this is where I trust my gut and run with it ?11??

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

Thanks Peregrinus for the insight.
I have often felt that I act as a mirror sometimes for people. Because of my neutral frame of mind and non-judgmental attitude I sometimes get to see parts of people that they are unwilling to show to others. Of course like you said it has worked the opposite way in the past, people becoming uncomfortable with looking at themselves.
Ah, I've noticed this as well. I just never knew exactly how to describe it. Waking up is definitely the best way to describe how it feels at times.
This is what I'm going to have to work on. I tend to have a very all or nothing mentality, which causes me to see in black and white at times. Adjusting my space seems like a grey area, so that would explain why it seems to be a difficulty for me. Anyway, thanks for clearing this up for me. It's always good to have an experienced person's perspective on matters such as this.

Embrace the silence, your calmness about it will say a lot about who you are.
A famous person (I forget who lol) said "Don't speak unless you can improve on silence"

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."