Somehow I mised this post, apologies.
I'm still working on this aspect. I've always been naturally quiet and growing up I always felt pressured to fill in that awkward silence. After a couple of years that silence was no longer awkward for me.
As I've said through the years I've learned to accept my nature and who I am, I am different which makes some people uncomfortable I guess.
This in my view is an important step.
A lot of men (and women) cannot deal with the 'pressure' of silence, hence they feel they have to fill it with something.
This is why it makes them uncomfortable, together with, if you are giving nothing out (pushing out) then the only thing there is to fill the space is themselves and a lot of people really dont like looking at themselves, which is why they are so uncomfortable with space and the whole idea.
So basically now I only say the things I feel I need to say, which sometimes isn't a lot. I used to push a lot of my interactions with women, thinking that if I wasn't talking then it was wrong. Bottom line, I'm not a talkative person. I'm not unfriendly, just not that talkative.
Good, this sounds like acceptance
I am perfectly content being by myself which does not put me in a frame of mind to seek or pursue.
I spend quite a bit of time in this space, until something wakes me up.. A look, a smile, a few words, something physical, an observation, many things.
It is a good space of mind for observing the world.
However, I've found that maybe the space I create is too much. Is this possible?
It can be, depends on the people you are with.
I know some people who will fill up every spare part of any space I give them.
I also know some people who only like a little bit of space.
To a large degree how much space they like around them tells you a lot about them.
Personally, I would say you cannot create too much.
Then I have to admit that it also depends on the situation, if you are looking to meet someone who has come on your radar and you will only see her that day and she is indecisive, then giving her tons of space is unlikely to result in you two meeting. Sometimes you have to shrink the space a bit also, give her a branch to grab onto, or '
throw a rope to her' - if she decides to grab on, then fair enough, if not then fair enough.
This is the same for a lot of social situations.
Before I even heard the concept of space I've always felt that everything is more natural when women came to me or when I let the interaction unfold instead of controlling where it went.
This is a good observation.
Things flow more easily, more naturally as you say, because it is more natural.
I've found more often than not those attempts to fill the space only created more problems.
In my view, this is because you are taking away the space for them.
This is very counterproductive to the whole concept of space, in my view.
You cannot both create space and fill it all. It is like trying to empty a glass of water while still pouring water into it.
Good questions freespirit