Loner 1: 'The new kid in town'
A true tabula rasa - no connections, no friends, no clue.
A staggering 90% of the readers of most mailing lists and message boards never post.
These 'lurkers' still find value in just watching - because other people are interesting
We touched upon this in 'The 1% Rule' and
Go to somewhere with LOTS OF PEOPLE - park, mall, anywhere... Sit down with a coffee or something, maybee a music player and earphones and SIT... Watch, observe... DO NOT WANT, DO NOT SEEK, JUST OBSERVE.
Look for the non verbals, try to read people without wanting anything from them, not seeking any reaction, not seeking any signs, detached.. At peace in your mind and happy just being there seeing these people going about their lives.
Extraversion/introversion scales emphasize the respondent's desire and ability to socialize with strangers. However, it is not entirely clear how introverts and extraverts behave in situations perceived as offering a possibility for real intimacy.
https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/b45c/0 ... d24599.pdf
On one hand, extraverts would be expected to be most comfortable and effective in any situation with a new other.
On the other hand, the potential for one-on-one intimacy is consistent with the kinds of relations that are particularly desirable for introverts.
The overall tendency for introverted individuals to report somewhat lower closeness (and the quite clear tendency for them to do so when no special instructions about closeness as a task are given) is consistent with the general understanding of introversion as a discomfort with social interactions with strangers. Because the method for getting close is presumably provided by the task, these data shed doubt on the view that introverts are less social because they are less skilled at getting close.
Indeed, when getting close is made an explicit task, introverts became as close as extraverts. This may be because to the extent introverts do engage in social interaction, this task was precisely the kind of self-disclosure that is typical of their conversations.
Thus, when the goal of closeness was made salient, introverts may have perceived themselves as especially effective at these tasks (or perhaps as a result they were less aroused than they would have been without the instructions).
For reference, personally I deal less with extroverted women.
introverted women, once woken up, can be far more demonstrative and active. They just need permission to be that way.
It is important to remember there's a clear difference between being alone and being lonely.
Even the science is different. Being lonely, science shows, can lead to depression and even physical maladies like high blood pressure.
But being alone can result in contemplation, refreshment and independence, and mostly mentally grounded people value alone time.
You can exist alone and not feel lonely. As Kidd says, be your best friend.
If you are connected well enough to yourself, the need for others retreats.
In the end in my view it boils down to one thing, looking for others to fill that hole in you. If there is no hole you have no need for others to fill it, you have filled it yourself.
If you are your own best friend, you may be alone, but you'll never be lonely.
This is the kicker.
This is the golden egg.....
Shame that so few come to realise it in their lifetimes.