The economy in all sorts of industries are hitting the fan or sensing a bubble. Many are sharing your experience right now, it's a very uncertain time, even at the highest levels the tension is being felt and this affects everyone below. Do not take this as some kind of huge personal failing - that is not required in order to glean the lessons from it, in fact it makes it more difficult.
Yeah I'm seeing it all over where I am now, there's homeless all over the place. And not just homeless, all sorts of ages and demographics and walks of life are out here. From the typical average person, to young boys to the disabled and elderly peddling for money, the world is definitely in for a disturbing change; the writing is on the wall.
There is a certain value in this for those who value growth and development (which is a small percentage of those who say they do, they simply like it the idea of it) in that the shit gets very real. Things that we could distract ourselves with, a life heavily based on daydreaming and entertainment literally become non-options when the rug starts being pulled out. There is great opportunity there as necessity can bring out all sorts of qualities and an intensity you had no idea you had.
I agree and I'm trying to work on it now in my own pragmatic way, my teacher is always telling me there will be sunny days and there will be cloudy days. From what I learned and developed from him the most is perseverance its hard but I am doing what I can to be creative and make my own way in life now. I do know that feeling of losing yourself in entertainment all too well with what I know now I want to make it better than before.
Remember there are many ways to live, and being "successful" in this rather insane system may not actually be all that interesting to you on a deep level, and if that's the case you wouldn't even be happy if it happened. Maybe living minimally at a place where you could rock climb or whatever your thing is every day, or be in an ashram or a volunteer halfway across the planet are what would make you feel at home vs. "finding a stable career that from the current view of the world in 2017 seems like it should be pretty stable until some whole new thing is invented" default approach. You have to get to know yourself and what matters, understand what it is to be resourceful and ways to make that life a reality as you assess in real time what the costs/benefits are. You don't want your next big epiphany to be that all the sensible, logical choices you made have brought you to a completely unfulfilling routine that is never going to have that someday payoff of being fulfilling, and that in the end no one except you ultimately ever even cared about what you did
You are correct there are rather other ways of living which I have been considering and looking to start doing soon. These times are too different a stable career is a dream these days and money is nothing more than a "new" subtle form of slavery to include all cultures and races. And just like 2000 years ago women are being used to destroy our current society, I am adapting to my new circumstances and then opt out "I am done with this illusion.
I agree, getting to know myself more and more through this strife will definitely be valuable, what I like, what I dislike, my values what I'll tolerate what I consider disrespectful and unacceptable, self knowledge is key to wisdom. I don't care what everybody else thinks they don't see what I see coming although more people are waking up. I just want to live a fulfilling life no more no less a clear head is key and knowing when to let emotions play a role when necessary and when to keep them out of the equation.
You now have a fresh start to go in a new direction, or similar one, but it's up to you. You could've easily been stuck at this job for another 10 years working for a paycheck, unruled.
I agree because I didn't have the belief of doing it my own and lacked the commitment to see it through.
And, the thing you said about "I should be settled at this age" is a social belief in my opinion. If you've been around this forum for a while, like you have, I think you will be fine.
It basically is but I'm definitely at a point where my life should be more than what it is or at the very least I'm living truly on my own terms