Very interesting post bliss. Once again, thanks for sharing.
I believe that the large majority of the world does things in this fashion. Started seeing it with my parents, but also saw how it applied to other people I knew as well. Most of the time, people were only nice to those who they could gain something from. I tried this formula to get recognition. Just dug myself a deeper hole.
Mainly though, I acted nice because I was afraid of being labeled as "selfish" - a label given to me by my parents whenever they didn't get their way. I felt my value to the world was directly related to how happy other people were around me, even if it meant getting completely neglected. As you said, I NEEDED something from others, and this was the way I went about it.
However, now, I am consciously helping others out and doing my best to observe the urge to be recognized for this. Very helpful in recognizing the things I still need to work on.
There's a nice quote I found that relates to this - "Real generosity is doing something nice for someone who will never find out."
I honestly believe we should be kind to one another (when possible), but expecting something in return (which can be obvious or very subtle) makes it a transaction at best, and more often than not simple manipulation.
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This relates to my thought on the matter by my belief that acts of SINCERE kindness, altruistic behavior, can only be done from a WHOLE place. Meaning the individual is coming from a place of abundance and doesn't NEED anything from the receiver (acceptance, praise, whatever). "I have everything I NEED already...you look like you need some help though."
Altruistic behavior does exist ONLY when a person is coming from a WHOLE place. The transaction does occur, however if the individual giving is coming from a WHOLE place, then the return value of the receiver is not of importance to the giver, because they don't NEED it. Indifference to the outcome of it.
LOVED these 2 quotes. And they don't apply to altruism exclusively Altruistic behavior does exist ONLY when a person is coming from a WHOLE place. The transaction does occur, however if the individual giving is coming from a WHOLE place, then the return value of the receiver is not of importance to the giver, because they don't NEED it. Indifference to the outcome of it.
