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The illusion of sexual exclusivity
http://naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=1406		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Alchemist [ Wed Aug 10, 2011 7:42 am ]
Post subject:  The illusion of sexual exclusivity
One of society's lies meant to cater to the male ego: the idea that a woman will never cheat if she 'loves her man enough', the idea that she'll never cheat in a relationship when the truth is, it's actually inevitable that she will and it happens sooner (and more often) if the guy fucks up by geting emotionally invested.

For anyone who's gotten over this mindfuck, how did you personally overcome it? what helped to make you realize it was complete bullshit?.

This is one of the lies that's stuck to me the most and I'm overcoming it by reminding myself that sexual exclusivity is something I will never provide because it's something I will never recieve, on top of that it's the meaning I've given to this idea growing up that did me in.

Women say they want sexual exclusivity from us, they want us to believe they will offer the same yet they never provide it. :lol:
Author:  Sniper [ Wed Aug 10, 2011 9:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
Alchemist wrote:
One of society's lies meant to cater to the male ego: the idea that a woman will never cheat if she 'loves her man enough', the idea that she'll never cheat in a relationship when the truth is, it's actually inevitable that she will and it happens sooner (and more often)
well it's not all women. I never checked the % of women who cheat- I don't know if it's the majority
Author:  Alchemist [ Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
They all would if the conditions were right and more do than not lol.

The reason the recorded percentage is so low is because they don't usually get caught.
Author:  Sniper [ Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
Alchemist wrote:
They all would if the conditions were right and more do than not lol.

The reason the recorded percentage is so low is because they don't usually get caught.
I'm not so sure about that, but you know what: it's better if The Kidd and Grinius answer this one 8-)
Author:  Alchemist [ Wed Aug 10, 2011 11:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
Indeed.

I was certain I had what they called a keeper but it turns out that's probably not the case, right now I feel even more cynical about women.

To me this feeling is a good thing as it counters any remnants of societal programming.
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Wed Aug 10, 2011 2:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
Quote:
I was certain I had what they called a keeper but it turns out that's probably not the case, right now I feel even more cynical about women.
You really thought that bitch was a keeper? Why? What lead you to believe that? :|

That asked, remember, I speak in generalities that cover the MAJORITY of women. When I was overseas, there were a small amount of women that did not cheat on their husbands/men back home...they were usually the prettier ones (also more secure in themselves) who were no stranger to male attention. Not ALL women will cheat on you...especially if you are meeting their needs versus their wants.

Does that mean that I rely on that to sleep well at night? NO. I'm 100% sure that the furthest thing on my keepers mind is sleeping with someone else...not because she tells me this (which she doesn't because since I'm not insecure, these topics are never discussed), but because her actions and behaviors PROVE it to me on a consistent, regular basis. In time, you'll be more seasoned to be able to discern true interest in you versus them meeting self interest ONLY.

You are just beginning your journey on the path, young one...it's not unusual to have high hopes for the first woman that you ever fucked.

Remember...NO ONE makes the first building jump. 8-)
Author:  Alchemist [ Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
Ok, I understand.

I thought she was a keeper because she saw potential in me more than most girls and appreciated it, I thought that's what a keeper was....

I'm really confused now about what that means. :x

I must have been high on that feeling cuz a woman finally treated me not like a piece of shit......so you're saying if I went out with this girl and finish how I started she wouldn't cheat on me?.

Not that I'm considering that option it's just hypothetical, having a hard time believing she wouldn't.
Author:  rant [ Wed Aug 10, 2011 7:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
@alchemist


do you realize that your version of what a keeper is, is similar to barca and his special one
Author:  Sniper [ Wed Aug 10, 2011 7:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
@Alchemist

The woman that you are seeing now in which you thought she was your keeper, what did she say that made you think she will cheat?

also, sounds to me like she is not really a keeper...
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
Alchemist wrote:
Ok, I understand.

I thought she was a keeper because she saw potential in me more than most girls and appreciated it, I thought that's what a keeper was....

I'm really confused now about what that means. :x

I must have been high on that feeling cuz a woman finally treated me not like a piece of shit......so you're saying if I went out with this girl and finish how I started she wouldn't cheat on me?.

Not that I'm considering that option it's just hypothetical, having a hard time believing she wouldn't.
How can she cheat on you if you were never hers to begin with? :ugeek:
Author:  Alchemist [ Wed Aug 10, 2011 9:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
The Kidd!! wrote:

How can she cheat on you if you were never hers to begin with? :ugeek:
True, I had the wrong idea and getting on some irrelevant shit. :lol:
Author:  Alchemist [ Thu Aug 11, 2011 9:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
Internalizing this question you asked me is like washing over all the shit I was worried about, it feels great. :mrgreen:
Author:  peregrinus [ Thu Aug 11, 2011 6:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
I do not own her.

She does not own me.
Author:  Alchemist [ Thu Aug 11, 2011 7:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
peregrinus wrote:
I do not own her.
This I have finally come to terms with. :)
peregrinus wrote:
She does not own me.
This I will make clear to her next time. :twisted:
Author:  Alchemist [ Sat Aug 13, 2011 7:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
I've just found a tool to get my feet on the ground in case of emergency.

I was thinking about how we're so conditioned to believe that we have to care if a woman sleeps with other men wether we're with her or not, that it's supposed to do something to us, that it means something when it really doesn't.

Then I just thought "it's an amorati thing to think like that"....that's enough to scare me away from that line of thinking. :lol:
Author:  fufe [ Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
Alchemist wrote:
I was thinking about how we're so conditioned to believe that we have to care if a woman sleeps with other men wether we're with her or not, that it's supposed to do something to us, that it means something when it really doesn't.
I was thinking about the same thing yesterday when I was out and one of my friends was telling me, how his ex was week after the breakup with another dude and how she's bitch and whatever
Author:  Alchemist [ Sat Aug 13, 2011 3:48 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
It's just really fucked up man to think like this....I'm learning alot about the ego and how my own mind works whilst having this shift in mindset.
Author:  Altair [ Mon Aug 22, 2011 7:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
I got over it by watching interactions of others and my own past experiences...whenever I faltered they were always ready to move onto the next option.
Women will always move in the direction that best suits them....just as we will
Author:  Sniper [ Mon Aug 22, 2011 8:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
Morpheus wrote:
Women will always move in the direction that best suits them....just as we will
Women will move quickly towards a guy who they beleive has higher value. We do the same however: we usually have a shorter laundry list of demands and we are easier to please...
Author:  Alchemist [ Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The illusion of sexual exclusivity
Morpheus wrote:
I got over it by watching interactions of others and my own past experiences...whenever I faltered they were always ready to move onto the next option.
Women will always move in the direction that best suits them....just as we will
By faltering do you mean from feeling the way you did or acting on it, or both?.
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