Natural Freedom

Well, this topic has been discussed a lot in the Natural Grounding forums but since this new forum is much more open for every kind of authentic self development I would like to bring it up again.

What is your opinion about pornography? Do you watch it or do you intentionally stay away from it?

I used to watch it fairly often but haven't since I found this stuff 3 or 4 months ago. I glanced at it once to see the effect it had on me and it made me feel sick. I want nothing to do with it

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."

There is nothing "bad" about it. However from my experience, it does lead to an objectified view of sex, and not one of overall satisfaction, it tends to be on the side of sex addiction, peak and crash type of feelngs, as I'm sure you've noticed. It's probably not the best choice of support for connecting with women.

When I did that NG crap, I did watch less of it, however there was a judgment in that community about porn being "bad" - which leads to repression, which can lead to binging on it.

If you wanna watch it, watch it, don't resist it, that's even worse. Or just let the feeling pass and see what happens, which is the best way to go to break in habit in the long run, given that you've the awareness and control to do that.

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"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." -Master Yoda

Pornography is ok as long as your relationship with it is ok.

If you are ok with it and your relationship with it is fine, you see it for what it is, then all is good.

If however your relationship with it is fucked up, it WILL fuck you up more.

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I also think one point rarely discussed in this type of discussion is the TYPE of pornography.

Some of it is little more than societal programming wrapped up in some sex on screen.

Some of it is downright abusive, either to the men or the women.

Some of it is a lot more real and honest.

It vastly depends on what type you watch and what your relationship is to it than just labeling it as being porn.

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Would you guys label something that you recorded with you and partner(s) as porn?
AS that can be considered porn and be relationally sound, with you in it rather than some actor that is not you. With someone who you had a connection with and which shows through when watching.. You could almost think of that as the ultimate natural grounding *cough*

I did also post some comments on this in another thread a while ago, cannot seem to find it to reference it. It was referring to watching another guy pleasuring a woman who is not you and the negative connotations that can have if your relationship with it is not sound.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Good post, Peregrinus!

I watched some "porn" in the last days. But only stuff where no men are included. And I don't consider it as bad for me as I did in my NG time anymore. One actually could say that many of those vids/pictures are pretty "natural" and could be used for NG, as you said Peregrinus, haha.

Altough I already noticed something that I haven't experienced in a long time. As I went out last saturday and saw a pretty woman I got the picture in my mind how she would look on that pictures I watched. It wasn't "bad" but I wasn't used to such thoughts. And I will decide in the next days if I should take that as a reminder that watching naked girls could change me somehow and I better stop it again.

But the bigger problem for me is the ethical aspect of pornography. Since it reduces women to their bodies and instrumentalizes them and I have problems with such instrumentalization, even if the woman agreed to it. Altough the instrumentalisation in that vids I watched aren't that obvious and they try to show the behaviour of the women too, not only their bodies.

Hm... but it really is about the right connection.

Yes that's a really interesting topic. Thanks Vegano for posting!

When I started with NG i totally stopped watching porn. Then after a few months I started again to watch but it felt different. I used it to let go some pressure if you know what I mean

Yes, the way you look at it is very important. As long as you have this fantasies with women when you see one in a club or so you should stop watch it. Because you degrade the woman or girl to an object, that feels bad... bad for you and bad for her. I think that porn is a very relativ word.

Porn is for me when they have a story and where are pornstars involved. But vids with people who just took a vid and upload it isn't porn for me. It's still hard to find the difference but we should observe this topic for a longer time so let this topic alive!

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- The world doesn’t give you what you want, it gives you what you are

My future stepbrother is pretty good with women, and in a conversation it suddenly led to porn. He says "there's no facial expressions in porn" and its true, there's no body language or eye contact that shows that the woman is attracted. She's just doing her job.

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Don't be sexist, bitches hate that.

I stay away from that shit, period, it's evil.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

I'd rather be making the movies rather than watching them! I can fake an orgasm and have the prettiest little dress on right now that is just revealing enough!

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Don't be sexist, bitches hate that.

I try to stay away from it but even if I fall into it once in a while I don't beat myself up for it.
Since I don't beat myself up and I don't feel guilty about it- I don't fall into it that often.

I think that when you take out the guilt you won't fall into it that much as opposed to feeling guilty and angry about it- you will more then likely fall into it more often.

Makes sense?

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

This is a very interesting scientific article about the effects of pornography on the brain:
http://candeocan.com/wp-content/uploads ... -final.pdf

And with this free site I've totally stopped watching porn: http://www.recoverynation.com

But finally I have to agree one more time with Peregrinus Looking at porn just to find a relief because there is not complete happiness in oneself, then leads to addiction 100% of the time. And the same thing goes with sex.

Twilight can be considered porn. It presents young girls with a choice between Necrophilia and Beastiality.

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Don't be sexist, bitches hate that.

I'd rather be addicted to sex than porn, at least sex is real.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

^THis!

Porn at the end of the day is an easy access to naked women any time you want. You know its there, there's no religious insitutions telling you of its evil and threatening to cut your balls off if you watch it.

You're going to want to watch it. And it does have negative effects...affects... w/e its not good for you.

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Don't be sexist, bitches hate that.