Natural Freedom

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:12 am 
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So after browsing through the forum hundreds of times, I became interested in doing some type of men's work. Specifically the whole rite of passage drew my interest because years ago I had considered doing military service because I really wanted to complete boot camp. Something about that whole process of the boot camp to take the boys and turn them into men resonated deep within me. I never ended up joining the military, and I always felt not challenging myself to see what I was made off, affected me on a deep level and if I did not do something I would regret it.

So instead of building myself up and based on my efforts, accomplishment, etc. and having self-validation, I did what any insecure boy would. I chased the pussy to get validation. Needless to say, it was an EPIC failure. But I digress, I was incredibly lucky to find this forum by the grace of God, and devoured every post and this talk about a lack of male initiation interested me very much.

peregrinus wrote:
This is also why I believe it is VERY important for men to spend time away from ALL women. Either with MEN or with themselves and nature.


peregrinus wrote:
Letting go, letting go of your attachments and facing your internal demons has a MAJOR effect, so much that I can see not doing them really holding people back despite other progress they have made, until they address them there is an 'elephant in the room'.
To my mind a lot of the guys seeking help in this area would do best to focus on themselves first rather than women, sort yourself out and then you will automatically become more attractive. Then even simple improvements you make will have a massive effect.


I joined another forum that is similar to here, http://www.ballsproject.com/ and one of the co-owners mentioned a particular rite of passage weekend put on by the ManKind Project, called the New Warrior Training Adventure. He had participated in it himself years ago and recommended it.

ManKind's Website http://mankindproject.org/

So I signed up and decided to read a few books about the whole initiation process: http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=3254

I completed the training adventure, May 17-19. I want to share my thoughts about the weekend and on-going updates to see how the weekend and men's group affects me in the long term.

FYI - I understand this might not interest all, but I wanted to share my experience if anyone has or had any interest in this.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:26 am 
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05.20.2013

This first post is the day after I got back from the training. The next day high after the training is evident in the post (with the excessive capitalizations), but 3+ weeks later the thoughts still resonate.

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So I'm back from the New Warrior Training Adventure. Boy, what a ride! I got a lot out of the experience and every man I did it with also got much out of it.

Highly recommended if a rite of passage ritual is something you are interested in, or you don't feel like a REAL man now.

This post might be quite incoherent because I am simply just typing what comes to mind.

An implicit belief that I had before the training was that ALL men were not to be trusted and OLDER men were useless. I am not certain if this was unconscious or conscious but based on many actions this was true for me. I now see the value in men. They can hold you accountable and push you to better yourself. Men from all walks of life too, older, younger, father, son, brother, straight, gay, bi-sexual, godly, atheist, hippy, corporate, elder, etc. All were there to help us men with facing our demons in a constructive way. It was extremely powerful and everyone was very compassionate. Each man even if he is 180 degree opposite from me has something to teach me. I have a much GREATER respect for men now. Being around the men, it felt like I was coming home.

After sharing stuff with the other men who did the training with me, we all formed a bond. Even though we come from different areas, many of our issues were ROOTED to the same things. Seems to be universal to all men! So I feel more connected to men and myself. See us in this together even though we might have different goals. GP, I agree with you here too, the camaraderie among the guys being initiated was one of the best parts, as the weekend went on were busting each others balls pretty good! It's as if we went from strangers to brothers. These guys know more about ME than many of my friends!!!

I got a lot of value out of seeing my brothers go through the process, the energy becomes contagious and every man started to open up because every man was dropping the mask that they put on to society. This was an extremely valuable thing for me because I saw that most men have, though, or going through something similar to what I went through or thing. This was the linchpin that helped to solidify my new positive believe in men, that the are not adversaries but friends and just like me.

I let out the WILD MAN quite a bit this weekend. GOD, it was awesome. It's good to know he's still around. I had suppressed him so much, I felt like what I call a "Pussy Bitch." Well, the pussy bitch has been killed and the Wild Man and I are starting to get to know each other. I feel much more powerful and open. It's like after doing something like this, going to a bar by myself is a walk in the park. Also, by letting out the Wild Man, I have destroyed some things holding me back and have befriended other demons. I feel more powerful and I KNOW this will have an effect on others, especially women.

I feel much more confident, it will be interesting to see how it portrays to my daily life. I will attend the I-group in my city so this is not simply a fun weekend in the park as GP stated, but that it is fully integrated into the nervous system.

I’m not sure how I can tell people about this experience. One of the biggest take home messages for me, is I can *try* to explain it as best I can, but life is visceral. This is the type of weekend that has to be experienced, words do not do it justice. Plus, every man’s experience will be different I am sure, but based on what I saw, it will be powerful.

At the end of the training, I could see the pride in the older brother’s eyes (not necessarily age, but I mean the guys who did the training previously). I am sure it brought back positive memories of each man’s own NWTA but also to see the growth in a weekend of a bunch of guys who showed up as PUSSIES and got their BALLS back! It takes BALLS!

That’s all for now, but if anything else comes up I’ll post.

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The Wild Man refers to the Wild Man in the book Iron John by Robert Bly http://www.naturalfreedom.info/viewtopic.php?f=22&t=3254

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:29 am 
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06.02.2013

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I figure I will keep an on-going journal of experiences since NWTA to give benefit to myself and to other guys who are considering the weekend.

Last week, I posted on how I do not want to sit down and allot time to do the Just Allow It Course. GP, Evan, and Meraki all said to listen to my nervous system and give it time to adjust after an intense weekend. So I did that. No sitting down to allow for me, and to be honest I loved NOT doing it I’m going to give my nervous system some space (shout out to NF) and time to re-adjust and when allowing or self-inquiry or whatever is ready to commence I’ll know.

The past week I re-read King, Warrior, Magician, and Lover and am finishing Iron John. Both make more sense the 2nd time around and also with the weekend experience. Although, Iron John is cryptic so I know I glossed over much still. I ordered Joseph Campbell’s The Hero with a Thousand Faces; I’m excited to read this one. This whole male initiation topic is very interesting to me.

Some other thoughts –

- As the time passes from the weekend, I subtly have noticed I feel more centered, self-assured, and comfortable in my own skin. My overall body posture is better, I feel I am walking taller, as in I don’t slouch as much (I used to always slouch) and my shoulder area does not feel as tight as it used to.

- This next topic was the boyhood foundational belief about what masculinity and manhood is and it was highly influenced from social media and my lovely time in the PUA community.

- I used to believe that Masculinity was SOLELY based on your notch count or how desirable to women you were. Since previously, I was not very successful; I did not feel like a man based on my old belief.

- Seeing men who possessed this masculine presence about them and knowing that some were gay, ugly, old, maybe a virgin or two there – cemented my belief that masculinity has nothing to do with getting women. This was something I had to experience to understand, and I don’t want to beat a dead horse, but this was a pivotal experience for me.

- I feel a huge sense of relief and burden but not having to tie my success or lack of success with women to masculinity and my overall view of myself as a man. This has helped me to break free. This was a truly foundational belief that has been transformed.

- Due to the new belief, I basically stopped caring so much in what others think. Case in point, I completely changed my wardrobe overnight (well, less than a month, but who is counting?) Where I live, Polos, Khakis, Boat Shoes, etc is King. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I figured I would branch out. I look more like a hipster. I got the converse all stars, Levi’s skinny jeans, I sport a beard, wear glasses, and have a big ass white watch. To say people who knew what I looked like before are surprised is an understatement. Some people don’t even recognize me and I have had many do double takes.

- The attention I get now from women has increased 10 fold. A few buddies think it is only because of my changing wardrobe, and I’m sure that does account for some of it as I have a few *loud* items, but I’d argue it has to be at least 80%-85% coming from the changes within. I see the fashion as another way to express my creativity and not feel so confined to have to conform to some societal standard.

- I plan on taking up yoga in the near future as well. I think it will aid in the mind-body connection

- Also, I feel in 6-12 there will be a job/career change. I have tons of creativity that I’ve bottled up over the years to fit in & the job is just destroying it day by day.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 2:31 am 
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06.11.2013

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So along with the weekend initiation there are many other possible training to do (which I may participate in the future)....anyhoo, I meet with the men in my local community (who are part of ManKind Project) every other week. It is definitely necessary because this integration into the nervous system takes quite a while in most cases as you are going to the core of yourself during the weekend, and follow up and follow through is necessary to "get it" on an energetic level.

What is also noticeable is that every time I attend, even if I'm just there I get something out of it. I feel rejuvenated - as if a necessary male energy has been passed on to me.

I found this passage quite relevant from Robert Bly in his book, Iron John (page 93):

"Fathers and sons in most tribal cultures live in an amused tolerance of each other. The son has a lot to learn, and so the father and son spend hours trying and failing together to make arrowheads or to repair a spear or track a clever animal. When a father and son do spend long hours together, which some fathers and sons still do, we could say that a substance almost like food passes from the older body to the younger.

The contemporary mind might want to describe the exchange between father and son as a likening of attitude, a miming, but I think a physical exchange takes place, as if some substance was passing directly to the cells. The son’s body – not his mind – receives and the father gives this food at a level far below consciousness. The son does not receive a hands-on healing, but a body-on healing. His cells receive some knowledge of what an adult masculine body is. The younger body learns at what frequency the masculine body vibrates. It begins to grasp the song that the adult male cells sing, and how the charming, elegant, lonely, courageous, half-shamed male molecules dance.”

Also, I have been more comfortable confronting confrontation. Nothing horrible, but I have not been running from it. For example, today I had a few work colleagues that I had to give them bad news and I knew before that they would be upset & might react. Instead of sugar coating it – I was blunt and when they reacted I was calm.

In the past I would have skidded around the issue or avoided it completely. These situations kind of organically happen.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 6:20 am 
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This sounds like it could be a viable substitute for military service...interesting. :D

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 7:21 pm 
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Interesting read :)

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 13, 2013 7:40 pm 
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This is cool...
Any hints of what is the weekend consisted of ?


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 1:00 am 
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Interesting synchronicities related to this topic today.

Went to the movies to see After Earth this afternoon. Some quite powerful scenes near the beginning and at the end of it.

Coming back home, saw a man all bloodied up, apparently from fighting off muggers who wanted his mobile. They didn't get his mobile. Girls mobbed him, offering advice, 'call the police' 'go to the hospital' etc. He didn't, just went on home.

This brought back memories of more than a year ago, when I watched my own blood spill on the streets, coming home from a bar. My attackers wanted me to show them respect, to which I'd given the finger. Six months after the incident, during which I often crossed paths with them, mostly just staring daggers at each other, once getting the offer of having my nose chopped off, my main attacker came over and apologised, called it all a misunderstanding. I shook his hand then, since he had my respect.

I still believe violence is for the incompetent, but sometimes you get to deal with incompetents. Later on I had a much similar confrontation, where I was offered the opportunity to have my organs splattered over a shop window and wall, me still giving the finger, which managed to not descend to bloodshed. He backed off, saying he didn't have the time, needed to be somewhere else (at around 3AM sunday) and walked away.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 2:42 am 
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fufe wrote:
This is cool...
Any hints of what is the weekend consisted of ?



Short Answer - No

Long Answer - No, because it would give you pre-conceived notions of what to expect which would be doing you a disservice. Being a blank slate and absorbing the experience is key.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:09 am 
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AlexJ wrote:
fufe wrote:
This is cool...
Any hints of what is the weekend consisted of ?
Short Answer - No

Long Answer - No, because it would give you pre-conceived notions of what to expect which would be doing you a disservice. Being a blank slate and absorbing the experience is key.
WEll said AlexJ :D

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 11:01 pm 
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06.16.2013

-----------------------------------------------------------------

So after the initiation weekend, there is a homecoming ceremony where the men's group welcomes back the man to the community. This took place last weekend. Many of the men who did the initiation weekend with me live in other cities. This was the first time since the weekend that I saw them.

It was an opportunity for each man and his family to express how the weekend has affected him. The men were noticeable different. You could feel a sense of presence to them, relaxed, yet confident. The biggest thing that hit me was when the women spoke about the changes in her man after the weekend.

There was one in particular, she was speaking of her man. He apparently had fallen on hard luck with jobs over the past few years - I believe has been un-employed for a while. In the past week, before the ceremony he got 2 calls for a interviews. Immediately, upon saying this, she starts balling and I could sense a huge weight or 'burden' had been lifted from her shoulders. His actions were more masculine. She mentioned that he was more proactive and decisive and did not always ask her before making a decision (in general) - and she loved this. Finally, she did not have to make all the decisions for the two of them. She could not stop thanking everyone in the room for having this weekend and her man finally felt confident enough to assume his role of the leader in the relationship as this experience was transformative for him.

One of the other women (whose man had done the training years ago) said she loves this weekend and men’s group, because it provides him the emotional outlets, the ability talk about deep issues in a safe haven, validation, (nothing is off-topic) and he is refreshed and that she CANNOT provide that type of environment as a woman. She said that if he did not do something like this, they would not be together. She could NOT give him what he NEEDS. She said he NEEDS to get that from other men - not from her.

All in all the weekend is similar to a crack in your windshield of your car. As you know with a crack in a windshield, over time the crack grows and grows until you have to replace the whole windshield. The weekend opens the door and over time you let go of more and more societal B.S. and thoughts/behaviors holding you back and become *authentically YOU*

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 30, 2013 10:10 pm 
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Kinda late, I know - i've been doing a lot of inner work lately and haven't been keeping up with the newer threads in here, but I just wanted to say:

WELL FUCKING DONE!

I'm really happy for you. This sounds like a really beneficial process. Particularly enjoyed reading about the changes in character you described, and how it seems to have given you renewed enthusiasm/interest in checking out other practices (eg yoga). Fucking wonderful.

Proceed & enjoy.

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