Hi there, guys. I want to share with you and with the rest of the universe these insights I've just had and had lately.
While I've not been posting on here lately, since I was quite busy, and I almost didn't had feelings to share things with you, I've kept working on myself. I've been cleaning more and more in my mind and emotional bodies, and been practicing with love (again, and more intensely than ever I recall now, at least on my own with my conscious intention and focus). Thank you for sharing in this forum a link to those books on love by Klaus Joehle, that was one of the more useful posts I've ever read on an Internet forum ever.
Well, you already know I made a big decision, that of letting go of absolutely all of my desires, and to let go of my beliefs too. It looks to me like there are certain desires that don't disappear no matter how much you clean on them, they only become clearer, shinier, brighter. Those are the kind of desires that are there to stay, that I would absolutely love to fulfill, desires not from my limited egoic mind, but probably directly from my Higher Self. So they're desires to act upon, and cleaning on them gets all the mind poop, holding them from manifesting, clean.
Okay, I've become aware again about one deep desire in me, that appears like those higher desires I just talked about. It is one desire I had repressed, and didn't expressed it openly. Now it's the time when I fully say "yes!" to that desire... I wanna be one with you. No more repression, no more hiding from you, no more running from you, no more judging you, no more looking away saying I desire less than that. We're together for a reason, let's get out there to the Universe, and make ourselves a reality.
The desire itself is more than the words I can use to describe it, it's not a static thought like "I want a car" or something like that, probably the way egoic desires are; but a feeling that can be written with very different words. I'm grateful and glad to have it, and that I'm open to put it out there.
I have a strong inner desire to express my love for women sexually. My way, as I've always felt, as I've always subconsciously expected, and probably one of the reasons I'm still a virgin, because I didn't allowed myself to experience sex with any women in a "lower" way than that. I'll try to be clear on letting you know what "my way" is, since there's too many beliefs on sex and love out there.
My way of "sexually loving" women, is from my heart. It absolutely must be felt. And it has a lot more to do with love, than what most people in this planet think sex has. I don't expect much from them, except that they let me love them, that's all I ask for. The rest is my part, my love expressed in loving actions that flow, the deep appreciation, love, fascination and enjoyment of the beauty of women sexual bodies and the whole feminine essence, unseparated. You see, it's so simple that it doesn't even need penetration or any other specific action done.
It's not tantra, it's not any ritual, it's not repeating anything. It's freeing my and her sexual nature, in deep felt love exchange, at least from my part... but I get more anyway just by doing so, that I'll love doing. With an open heart. From love, and for love. It cannot be tagged like something I've come to learn, I can laugh at terms like "making love", lol, really, that's a funny statement
That's pretty much it. Thank you for reading.