I've been part of this forum for 11 years now, and I think it's a good idea to do a look back.
I invite all members (lurkers, early members, ...) to do the same on their own time.
1. This forum is a "men's group", and the closest thing to an initiation as in primary tribes/balanced societies.
2. It is surely useful for new members to see the evolution of members who came here to "learn" (as opposed to Kidd, Grinus, and others who came to "chat with fellow men").
So, let's try to have an "objectively subjective" view of my evolution. ("x." = situation, "-" = my eyes today)
1. My first topic created was "how to talk to strangers
" (after my presentation here
- Clearly low self-esteem at the time (as much, in the type of self-esteem, as in the quality of it)
- limiting beliefs
- a reductive vision of "relationships", based on a results and not the interactions in themselves.
2. Humor is part of my life:
I have always loved humor and I am naturally funny / incisive.
The comedy part of this forum is a fascinating playground/learning experience as well.
Some comedians (Carlin, Murphy, O'Neal, Brand...) are/were THE modern day philosophers, the last bastions of truth and free speech.
- The thing I haven't changed.
I could listen to Carlin / Patrice talk all day and still have fun / have the time of my life.
3. My relationship to the "spiritual" :
I had two concerns at the time, having a woman/women in my life, and "achieving spiritual enlightenment".
Which always made me think that it was related in a way, happiness = women, or something like that.
Which is why this forum was fascinating, because it advocated the improvement of all areas of our lives, spiritual, material, physical, ... under the guise of "women will come to you". Win-Win.
- Today I "understand" (intellectually, gutturally more-so) much better the texts / words / lessons of the forum (and elsewhere).
- I was searching intellectually, for something that cannot be reached by the intellect. Hence the frustrations, misunderstandings, waste of time and energy in all directions...
- The "theory" (sourced and/or based on their experience) acquired has been extremely useful for my own experiences over the years.
- The putting me back at my place has also been necessary (so, thanks a lot to Kidd, Grinus, and other members over the years).
- I still plan to create a general topic on the links/entanglements/similarities between Zen, this forum, ACT, and others, but it's not the time yet.
4. My arrogance towards the "givers" (Kidd mainly, by his "abrasive style"), and my "recommendations":
I remember mainly viewtopic.php?p=14040#p14040
where Kidd put me back in my "Hooey detected" position, and I shut down in my "holier than thou" position.
and putting down everything
(like everything was clear in 3 months back then
No other links of dubious recommendations as useless / redundant in retrospect.
- Sorry Kidd
- Looking back, I realize I didn't want to face my own misunderstandings/beliefs/values/limitations/... and I was participating a lot to "show I had it all figured out" and "be part of the pack"...
- Pure and simple arrogance. Beneficial thanks to my revisits of my "past self". And the fact that Kidd / Grinus know not to take things personally as it reveals underlying conflicts
5. The different matrices.
We come to the fact that no matter what subject we are interested in, there is somewhere in the forum, or just links, to knowledge on this subject and a deepening.
- Legal matrix ? Check
- Medical matrix ? Check
- Scientific matrix ? Check
- Health Matrix ? Check
- ... ? Check ?
If there is a matrix not yet discussed, it is enough that a member discusses it to generate interesting discussions.
- This has led me over time to be interested in many other topics than "women", "awakening": sports, laws, hacking, ...
I think that's about all I had sorted out.
TLDR: No matter what the topic / our interest is, this forum is a great place to :
- share our knowledge / experiences.
- to acquire new ones / to deepen subjects.
- see our "evolution" over the years by revisiting it with our new eyes.
So, thanks to everyone, this forum has been and continues to be a blessing (with its share of attached and intrinsic curses
Special thanks to Dali for taking over from Sniper a few years ago. And Grinus for your Gems thread
and steady / continuous support.
PS: I almost forgot : viewtopic.php?f=3&t=5145
PS: I will expand more on the influence of this forum on "me" (how the brain / mind / guts process things now compared to 10 years ago) over the years in the Gems / precious threads later this week
I had a similar situation 5-6 years ago with someone else.
Me accepting "unacceptable / declining behavior" due to my want / attachment to that person.
I can clearly see a difference now (meaning, I took the time to really break down with little ego interference, I can see my own demise in my own ways) in my actual / future behavior, mindset.
Sun is shining after a long night. It will be a great day.
PS2 as I may need to clarify:
I in no way implying that I have accomplished anything or am done with improvement.
It's a continuous process that I can just observe and take notes.
I have improved the most part of my life this past two years, and this past couple of months have made the most "progress" as I see it is all.
No end to that. Just " The only way to know is to walk to learn and grow