Natural Freedom

So I've been doing a lot of thinking and analyzing, which I really hate to do but my mind is very logical. I read posts on here seeing how other guys are dealing with women and how they react to them, how they are indifferent, etc. I realized something that I hadn't before. I genuinely do not trust myself in any of my interactions. I'm always looking for a "plan" or "strategy" so I know what to do and I don't allow myself to just be my natural self.

For me at least NG, affirmations, hypnosis, or any self help seemed to push me further away from trusting myself and more about creating a safety net for me. When I take away all this stuff and realize its just me and her, I get anxiety because then I have to rely only on myself.

Damn, this is a huge wound that I've been covering up with band-aids for years. Now that I see it I'm hoping I can address it somehow. I'm going to try to be more aware of this anxiety related to trust and just allow myself to be who I am. It's like I need all these damn reasons and techniques in order to accept that a woman likes me, when I should just enjoy the fact that she does and leave it at that.

How old are you?...if you dont mind me asking?

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

A well-made observation dude, this is great insight into yourself.

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"Simply put, you being in her life is a BLESSING. Her wronging you in any way is her own self-inflicted CURSE, and if she does wrong you, then let the punishment fit the crime. Her life will absolutely SUCK without you."

Trust me man, you're not alone. I've been on this board for a little while now myself still taking it all in. Its hard for some of us (well me) to just believe what is there and just go with it. Some of these others guys on here seem to have it mastered, I just hope to one day get there myself. It's great that you're able to see this so you can turn it around.

Relax and let yourself out.

Part of this (from speaking to RL friends) is, you know you are putting on an act, so even if she does appear to like you, you know you are not really being you, so you on a core level do not believe her reaction - as basically it is not true. It is not about you but the act you are putting on, she is seeing all the band-aid's and not you.

If you are YOU with her and she does not like you, both of you are being honest.

If you are YOU with her and she does like you, both of you are being honest.

Anything else is deception in my view.

I know its a corny phrase, be yourself.

If she likes you, she does. If she doesnt then that is ok also. At least you know the real answer either way.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

Hey Kidd, I'm only 19 so I'm still pretty young. But I got stuck in the pick up community when I was only about 16. My mind was corrupted at a pretty early age and it led me down a path of "fixing" myself. Needless to say it made things a lot worse for me.
So true. My only worry now is the whole stimulus response relationship. I get what you guys are saying about being the stimulus and not chasing after women, but I'm kind of making a transition right now. I think my problem was I was trying to be the stimulus when I should have just been myself and not worried about it. Overall I think I'm not seeing the whole picture yet and I'm still having doubts about my abilities. I'm trying to prove to myself that I'm the stimulus instead of just accepting it and doing my own thing.

And I've got a question for you. Have you always been naturally self confident? I've had anxiety and problems with people for as long as I can remember. Right now I'm experimenting with a subliminal program for confidence. I think it will benefit me because my goal right now is removing the blocks from being my natural self instead of changing myself. I think trust and confidence go hand in hand. Anyway, I'm doing what I think is right for me in my current situation. This isn't for getting women, this is just about improving the overall quality of my life and women are a byproduct of that change.

Feel better knowing that you have realized this while still (technically) a teen...by the time some guys figure it out, it is really too late.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

I'm lucky to have stumbled upon this forum and get some real answers. My only problem seems to be finding a balance between being arrogant vs confident. Knowing this knowledge really brings a new awareness and I'm trying not to get too full of myself.

Arrogance has it's place...but you'll always attract more bees with honey rather than vinegar. Treat people accordingly...and if they ask for it, give it to them!...bit only if they ask.

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EVERYTHING in life is conditional...EVERYTHING.

Pimposophy Revisited is now finally available on Amazon in all territories!

Good to know Kidd. I'm just gonna chill and be myself from now on, even if I'm not the most confident guy in the world. Its better than pretending I am and coming across as fake.

Now that is a good attitude to take.. Bravo

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

In a word - NO!

In my view, for most men it is part of the process of growing from a boy into a MAN. Together with many other parts, parts that fit together to form the whole.

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

I just wanted to let other guys know about something very important. I am a perfectionist. I've denied it for years, but perfectionism doesn't mean you are really good at something. It can mean just the opposite. You are so afraid to make a mistake that you do ABSOLUTELY nothing. In my case my constant obsession to appear perfectly confident and make myself invincible led me to a lot of emotional damage and stress. Confidence is really just a byproduct of being comfortable with who you are, and nobody is perfect.

I think perfectionism is a huge problem for nice guys. They want everything to be perfect, so they compliment a girl excessively to the point where it isn't even genuine *cough Amorati *cough, they just do it as a safety precaution to protect themselves. They are afraid to get physical with a girl because they think it will ruin their "perfect relationship" leading to the friend zone. They want the date to go perfect so they don't show their true self and then complain when a woman doesn't want to see them again. Well, they were so focused on doing it "right" that they completely missed the whole point of the date. I mean have you ever heard a guy say I want this date to go perfect? Why the hell would you put all that unnecessary pressure on yourself?

Anyway thats a huge insight for me and I hope some other guys get some value from it as well.

Well said both

some food for thought:

A man would do nothing if he waited until he could do it so well that no one could find fault. ~John Henry Newman

To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. ~Elbert Hubbard

When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target. ~George Fisher

Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect, then you develop some confidence. ~Rosalynn Carter

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

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In building a statue, a sculptor doesn't keep adding clay to his subject.He keeps chiseling away at the inessentials until the truth of its creation is revealed without obstructions. Perfection is not when there is no more to add,but no more to take away.

"It´s better to implement a good idea today
than to implement a perfect idea tomorrow."

If you want any kind of change in your beliefs,
you have to know what is behind your beliefs;
your values.

Our belief system is based on our values.
When we change our values, our beliefs will
change.

Once you change your core value, your limiting beliefs
will fall like dominos.

The Matrix (added) values/ The Natural (naked) values

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♫♫♩♫‿◦

The funny thing is that thinking you're not confident but acepting yourself anyway and not caring about it makes you come off as confident to other people. So really you are confident and love yourself, if that makes sense.

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The honey doesn't chase the bee.

A wise man once said "I find that a duck's opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread."

If you follow this advice your life will truly be an empty existence what's the point in living if you have no purpose in life its the same as being dead

People are actually better off when they live with purpose and meaning and more fulfilled

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~There's weakness in the hearts of all humans are you afraid to acknowledge yours... ~
Mr. Todo

guys don't forget that the women are the other part of the equation, don't put so much pressure on yourselfs and think that you are the problem if some interactions don't go well.

no one can have good interactions with all women and some women are not even worth our time and day anyway - so who cares

sometimes I also get cold shoulders from some women, but it doesn't bother me because it's not my problem if a woman acts in a certain way. It's her loss really

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"a sniper is the worst romancer, he never makes the first move"

Be careful about ignoring your logical mind. Its really good to have an ability to access your emotions. But when you turn your logical mind off, and listen to what "teachers" have to say. I am not referring to anyone on here. I'm speaking on the teachers that make seminars and sell products .

From personal experience when I turned off my logical mind I got taken by several "teachers" and got sucked into a christian cult...like legit. I just got out...but it's serious shit

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"The heart is deep beyond all things, and it is the man. Even so, who can know him."