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me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
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Author:  Sniper [ Thu Sep 02, 2010 11:19 am ]
Post subject:  me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
Hey guys,

I broke up with my girlfriend because she wanted things to get more serious (more commitment) and I don't want commitment at the moment....

It was a nice break up and we are still friends.

After we broke up she called me the next day and told me that it was hard for her, I told her that I'm sorry but if she wants commitment I'm not the guy for the job....

I have learned some things from this relatioship here are just a few of them:

1. be honest With power and you will gain respect.
2. Never worry about the relationship too much (be a little bit indifferent)
3. Lead
4. Don't 'try' to bring out her natural character- be grounded in your own reality and she will bring it out...
5. If she gives you 'sex and the city' style tests: make fun of them. That's awsome and it works :lol:
6. Go after what you want and don't be ashamed that you want sex....
7. Don't spend a lot of money and don't play the courtship game (on our first date I just bought her coffee)
8. Don't worry about what she is thinking, you are the more importent person in the relationship.

And finally:
9. you don't need to go to another country to have success (maybe in another country it's easier but you can have success in your own culture\country :D )

I'm going to a short two weeks vacation with my family to Thailand. I'll be one week with my family and one week on my own.

I'll keep you guys posted about that on another thread.

Cheers ;)
Author:  Sniper [ Thu Sep 02, 2010 4:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
someone pm me and asked me what I mean by: 'sex and the city' style tests

a few examples:

you go out with a girl and she says stuff like:

'My ex-boyfriend was making X money'
' " " " was driving X car'

or she tells you she is still in touch with her ex-boyfriend or that she went to a bar with her friends and three guys tried to pick her up.

you know stuff like that....

She wants to see if you are not intimidated and when you act like you don't give a shit or you make fun of her tests: she wants you even more :mrgreen:

Not all girls do that of course but some do and when they do it and you make fun of it- it turns them on like crazy :lol:
Author:  Jared [ Thu Sep 02, 2010 6:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
10) Stop struggling with women. :D
Author:  The Kidd!! [ Thu Sep 02, 2010 6:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
What do you mean by more commitment? Did she ask you to marry her? :|
Author:  peregrinus [ Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
Sniper wrote:
And finally:
9. you don't need to go to another country to have success (maybe in another country it's easier but you can have success in your own culture\country :D )
YAY!

Now maybe this will put a stop to your negative beliefs in this area :) Bravo

I was so glad to read this one on your list, a real positive outcome from your time with her in my view. You learnt something GOOD from your experience with her - Bingo!

I was going to say 'sorry to hear about your split' - HOWEVER if she was placing conditions on things you were not willing to do, then bravo for staying true to yourself.. I am more glad you did that than sorry you lost her, she was a kindof fit but not a good fit for you.. Standards are important and knowing what you want and what you do not want is very important. Somehow I get the feeling you came away from this with some good things, things that will stand you in good stead in the future... So I am not sorry, I am glad to hear it ended ;)
Author:  peregrinus [ Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
Sniper wrote:
or that she went to a bar with her friends and three guys tried to pick her up.
At that point, I tend to ask her things like:

How did they do?
What was their approach?
Which one did she fancy the most and why?

Get her to describe the whole thing to you, with their friends comments
Point out how one of the guys sounds like a real good match for her (both the one who is and sometimes the one who is most NOT)

I know some disagree with this approach, done correctly it does show that you are not bothered by it and are curious as to how it went. I mean, I AM CURIOUS when I hear this, there is usually a very entertaining story behind it - it also lets her go through those emotions again as she replays it. This is NOT done from fear or worry, but knowing there is an amusing story there that she wants to entertain me with.

Sometimes I cannot be arsed, mostly I am curious when I hear this, I will not press for information though... Its easy to pick up HER vibe when she says this and what her intent is.
Author:  Sniper [ Thu Sep 02, 2010 11:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
Quote:
What do you mean by more commitment? Did she ask you to marry her?
:lol: no, but she wanted to move in together and take it to the next level. :|
She said something in the spirit of: I'm 28 and I don't have time....
from what I figured her family is putting pressure on her to get married and 28 year old women are afraid because the closer they get to 30 the less demand they have (like you talked about....)

although because of the ratio even 30 year old women still get a lot of attention here (but not like when they are in their 20's....)
Jared wrote:
10) Stop struggling with women. :D
Yes, but if I was living in Finland things would have been a heck of a lot easier.....
Quote:
Now maybe this will put a stop to your negative beliefs in this area :) Bravo
Yes, at some point I realized that the fantasy of being able to turn most women into Palmy here with the power of NG is Hooey :mrgreen:
So I got my inner game fixed and from there things started to flow..

Better late than never

[ img ]
Author:  peregrinus [ Fri Sep 03, 2010 8:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
Sniper wrote:
Quote:
What do you mean by more commitment? Did she ask you to marry her?
:lol: no, but she wanted to move in together and take it to the next level. :|
She said something in the spirit of: I'm 28 and I don't have time....
from what I figured her family is putting pressure on her to get married and 28 year old women are afraid because the closer they get to 30 the less demand they have (like you talked about....)
In other words, YES!
Author:  Alchemist [ Fri Sep 03, 2010 8:38 am ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
Funny but true, I have friends who are just the same, either in their 30s or coming close, worried about their eggs drying up and wanting little bundles of joy with a nuclear family, in the UK I see more women in their mid 40s pregnant, I'm like wtf?? that can't be too healthy for the baby.
Author:  Sniper [ Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
BTW peregrinus,

I still think if I was in another country I would have an easier time, since in here most attractive women have a boyfriend or married and most of the ones that are not- have bitch shields or a big 'check lists'. I don't see women from Asia, Poland, etc in here (like Seek sees all over London).

But then again, if being hardcore is what it takes I can be hardcore :x

Maybe being hardcore is my karma after all :mrgreen:
Author:  Alchemist [ Fri Sep 03, 2010 6:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
I'd like to know where Seek finds these women... :lol:
Author:  Sniper [ Fri Sep 03, 2010 7:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
Alchemist wrote:
I'd like to know where Seek finds these women... :lol:
What you don't see them?
Author:  Alchemist [ Fri Sep 03, 2010 8:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
Sniper wrote:
Alchemist wrote:
I'd like to know where Seek finds these women... :lol:
What you don't see them?
I've lived in this country for nearly a decade and I have yet to meet one 'open' woman.

There are alot of foreign girls in this country but the type Seek and Pere speak of, they'd have to point me in their direction cuz I'm sure as shit not seeing any of that action around here. :lol:
Author:  Bengal [ Fri Sep 03, 2010 9:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
Shay - this is dope, man. I am glad to hear you say that about women in your own country and that you see the possibilities now.

Also man, I'm proud you walked away and stayed clear with what you wanted. I had images of all those friends that you talked about who got married to girls and are now miserable because they caved in, and are now controlled by their wives. Not that getting married to the right girl is wrong, but so many just fall in without even thinking about what they want, and if this person is really right for them. Men and women both.

That ain't you!

So great to see you progress like this.

-David
Author:  Bengal [ Fri Sep 03, 2010 9:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
Alchemist wrote:
Funny but true, I have friends who are just the same, either in their 30s or coming close, worried about their eggs drying up and wanting little bundles of joy with a nuclear family, in the UK I see more women in their mid 40s pregnant, I'm like wtf?? that can't be too healthy for the baby.
Fertility drugs.
Author:  Azriel [ Mon Sep 06, 2010 1:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: me and my girlfriend broke up- back with some insights
Alchemist wrote:
I'd like to know where Seek finds these women... :lol:
I think they're over here, I've a natural alpha in my college course and she grew up in merry old england!

However I'm still of the opinion that England is not a real country. Its all just Liverpool and the rest is Essex and Kent. Maybe Yorkshire exists, because they have to film Heartbeat and Midsommer Murders somewhere. We all know Coronation street and Eastenders doesn't exist. One of them is over 50 and killing off half the cast and the other one is getting rid of Barbara Windsor. Whats next? A plane falling out of the sky and killing half the population of a fictional farming community?!
Or a time travelling man armed with a screw driver pwning robot aliens with a limited vocabulary? Pfft that won't last two episodes.
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